I'm depressed
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
What's brown and sticky? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A stick! (Props to David Wulff -- I believe he first introduced this classic to the CP community.) Sorry to hear about your grandfather. :rose:
Jon Sagara I said NO salt, NO salt on my margarita!!
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
So pretend you are a journalist and you interviewed someone about a foreign movie the other week. You then went off and wrote a story about the interview. Only problem is, you got a quote slightly wrong[^] Sorry to hear about your grandfather, hope whatever he wishes comes about. regards, Paul Watson South Africa PMW Photography Gary Wheeler wrote: It's people like you that keep me heading for my big debut on CNN...
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
Andy MacAngus wrote: I just found out my grandfather has cancer Sad, I pr
Ay for him. Andy MacAngus wrote: Please tell me a joke You demand is our command :), here's what you wish A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. He sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat; the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back. Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He rem! embered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said ....................... .... Guess What???????? .............................................. ........................................ ...................................... ................................... ................................. ............................ ....................... .................. ................ .............. ............ .......... ....... ..... . "You think only you have a grandfather?" ........................................................................ ........................................................................ ........ Enjoy!!!!"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change wh
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Andy MacAngus wrote: I just found out my grandfather has cancer Sad, I pr
Ay for him. Andy MacAngus wrote: Please tell me a joke You demand is our command :), here's what you wish A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. He sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat; the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back. Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He rem! embered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said ....................... .... Guess What???????? .............................................. ........................................ ...................................... ................................... ................................. ............................ ....................... .................. ................ .............. ............ .......... ....... ..... . "You think only you have a grandfather?" ........................................................................ ........................................................................ ........ Enjoy!!!!"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change wh
ThatsAlok wrote: Sad, I prey for him. :eek: Pray tell, prey on who? :rolleyes:
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
My condolences, Andy. :rose:
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ThatsAlok wrote: Sad, I prey for him. :eek: Pray tell, prey on who? :rolleyes:
Nishant Sivakumar wrote: Pray tell, prey on who? Oops, spelling mistakes sometime very vulnerable
"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change what influences your opinion." - David Crow
cheers, Alok Gupta
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote: Pray tell, prey on who? Oops, spelling mistakes sometime very vulnerable
"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change what influences your opinion." - David Crow
cheers, Alok Gupta
ThatsAlok wrote: Oops, spelling mistakes sometime very vulnerable :-D
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote: Pray tell, prey on who? Oops, spelling mistakes sometime very vulnerable
"Opinions are neither right nor wrong. I cannot change your opinion. I can, however, change what influences your opinion." - David Crow
cheers, Alok Gupta
The old use->sue typo is the best. The number of times I've written "I will sue Microsoft Office for...", etc, is alarming.
Ðavid Wulff The Royal Woofle Museum
Audioscrobbler :: flickrDie Freiheit spielt auf allen Geigen
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge. Would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? It's good to live, Josef Wainz Software Developer
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Please tell me a joke or something. I just found out my grandfather has cancer. He's had it for almost a year and never told anyone.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather, I lost mine many years ago. Its difficult…Hope this helps a little… **************** Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." *************** Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese. *************** A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger." ***************** Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours. ***************** A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional abut getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "but I kind of had my heart set on wire frames. **************** A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos, it keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.