Putting Dad Down
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Tomorrow they're pulling the plug. Although I pray for the best, I don't know what to expect. I'm not too sure what to hope for... His life has been exceptional, if not famous, having proven himself to be an overacheiver in multiple careers but never seeking notice for his accomplishments. He has been a mentor, a role model for me, despite an early divorce which separated us in my youth. He turned down career opportunities around the world in order to stay close to his kids, and never once missed a weekend with us. He taught me to recognize a few thousand plants, having been trained as a plant pathologist, and to recognize and control a few thousand insect pests, as well. He taught me to appraise real property and possessory interest in leased property, too, since he wrote the manual for that concept as a LA county real estate appraiser. He also wrote the book on valuation of golf courses back when the Japanese were buying every golf course in America. He was frustrated with the lack of certification in the public administration field, so he wrote the curriculum for a Masters degree in Public Administration Management for the Harvey Mudd College at Claremont University, then took the course himself. One of his favorite teachers was Peter Drucker, an economist some may have heard about. He went back to school and earned a Masters degree in landscape architecture, then in his retirement volunteered to design scenic viewpoints along the highways of the state of Washington. In his free time, he wrote a manual of compatible plantings in his state for their Master Gardener Society. He taught me how to draw, and to play the guitar. He taught me that there's no such thing as having too many tools. He said to me once, early in my career as an engineer, "If you can't build a box to hold your circuit, you're not much of an engineer." I learned from that how to run any machine in a machine shop, and built my own damned boxes from then on, whenever I worked for a company that would let me. But the last few years have not been good; he has emphysema from a lifetime of smoking, a lack of strength left from radiation treatment for prostate cancer, and he just can't get around much anymore. An aneurysm near his heart burst last Thursday, and though the surgery was successful - a unique event in itself - he's not recovering well. He left verbal insructions with all of us that no heroic actions be taken to preserve his life. We sorta violated that request by allowing the doctors to connect an
My thoughts and prayers are with you guys, Rog. :rose:
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You forgot: 10th July: Tewkesbury Medieval Fayre[^]... Iain.
lol you guys know me too well! :laugh: Unfortunately we won't make it there this year, as Bourne Free is tomorrow, and its looking like Sunday is going to be busy for us too (we've friends in the area we've not seen for a while). Another time, I hope. :) Anna :rose: Riverblade Ltd - Software Consultancy Services Anna's Place | Tears and Laughter "Be yourself - not what others think you should be" - Marcia Graesch "Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart" - A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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Tomorrow they're pulling the plug. Although I pray for the best, I don't know what to expect. I'm not too sure what to hope for... His life has been exceptional, if not famous, having proven himself to be an overacheiver in multiple careers but never seeking notice for his accomplishments. He has been a mentor, a role model for me, despite an early divorce which separated us in my youth. He turned down career opportunities around the world in order to stay close to his kids, and never once missed a weekend with us. He taught me to recognize a few thousand plants, having been trained as a plant pathologist, and to recognize and control a few thousand insect pests, as well. He taught me to appraise real property and possessory interest in leased property, too, since he wrote the manual for that concept as a LA county real estate appraiser. He also wrote the book on valuation of golf courses back when the Japanese were buying every golf course in America. He was frustrated with the lack of certification in the public administration field, so he wrote the curriculum for a Masters degree in Public Administration Management for the Harvey Mudd College at Claremont University, then took the course himself. One of his favorite teachers was Peter Drucker, an economist some may have heard about. He went back to school and earned a Masters degree in landscape architecture, then in his retirement volunteered to design scenic viewpoints along the highways of the state of Washington. In his free time, he wrote a manual of compatible plantings in his state for their Master Gardener Society. He taught me how to draw, and to play the guitar. He taught me that there's no such thing as having too many tools. He said to me once, early in my career as an engineer, "If you can't build a box to hold your circuit, you're not much of an engineer." I learned from that how to run any machine in a machine shop, and built my own damned boxes from then on, whenever I worked for a company that would let me. But the last few years have not been good; he has emphysema from a lifetime of smoking, a lack of strength left from radiation treatment for prostate cancer, and he just can't get around much anymore. An aneurysm near his heart burst last Thursday, and though the surgery was successful - a unique event in itself - he's not recovering well. He left verbal insructions with all of us that no heroic actions be taken to preserve his life. We sorta violated that request by allowing the doctors to connect an
My prayers are with you Roger. Not much more to say that others have not. :rose:
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Tomorrow they're pulling the plug. Although I pray for the best, I don't know what to expect. I'm not too sure what to hope for... His life has been exceptional, if not famous, having proven himself to be an overacheiver in multiple careers but never seeking notice for his accomplishments. He has been a mentor, a role model for me, despite an early divorce which separated us in my youth. He turned down career opportunities around the world in order to stay close to his kids, and never once missed a weekend with us. He taught me to recognize a few thousand plants, having been trained as a plant pathologist, and to recognize and control a few thousand insect pests, as well. He taught me to appraise real property and possessory interest in leased property, too, since he wrote the manual for that concept as a LA county real estate appraiser. He also wrote the book on valuation of golf courses back when the Japanese were buying every golf course in America. He was frustrated with the lack of certification in the public administration field, so he wrote the curriculum for a Masters degree in Public Administration Management for the Harvey Mudd College at Claremont University, then took the course himself. One of his favorite teachers was Peter Drucker, an economist some may have heard about. He went back to school and earned a Masters degree in landscape architecture, then in his retirement volunteered to design scenic viewpoints along the highways of the state of Washington. In his free time, he wrote a manual of compatible plantings in his state for their Master Gardener Society. He taught me how to draw, and to play the guitar. He taught me that there's no such thing as having too many tools. He said to me once, early in my career as an engineer, "If you can't build a box to hold your circuit, you're not much of an engineer." I learned from that how to run any machine in a machine shop, and built my own damned boxes from then on, whenever I worked for a company that would let me. But the last few years have not been good; he has emphysema from a lifetime of smoking, a lack of strength left from radiation treatment for prostate cancer, and he just can't get around much anymore. An aneurysm near his heart burst last Thursday, and though the surgery was successful - a unique event in itself - he's not recovering well. He left verbal insructions with all of us that no heroic actions be taken to preserve his life. We sorta violated that request by allowing the doctors to connect an
Roger Wright wrote: This is certainly not the sort of thing one posts in the Lounge; we prefer light conversation here. I think this is an outstanding post. Anything that reminds us to count each minute, cherish each moment and not let loved ones leave our sight without a hug is great. You have my sympathy for your situation. When it's my turn I'm going to be in *bad* shape. But I'm an emotional wuss. Your post was very refreshing because by the time I reached the end of it I had no idea how your father was dying but I had a poignant view for how he lived. I read this earlier today and resolved to not reply until later. (I wanted time to just reflect on the power of it.) Obviously a tremendous man and it must have been a very rich experience to be his son. Facing tomorrow is an unknown but he's already taught you the things you need to know to handle it. This was a great post Roger. By the time I reached the end of it I was thinking, "GOSH! I bet there's so much more to read and I bet it's great." I don't know what else to say but I'm just fine reading this in the lounge, my inbox or anywhere else. Let us know how things go. - Rex P.S. - My own experiences of watching my daughter die several times in front me, bringing her back to life and then slowly watching her starve to death over several months allow me to sympathize keenly with you. A gutsy surgery by a brilliant surgeon saved my daughters life and changed it forever when she was about 1 year old. We then fought like hell to keep her alive for the next 2 years. But that's another story and this is the time for you to share yours. My point in all of this being that in some ways I've been where you are. Knowing not what tomorrow may bring can be a burden. I hope you do well with all of this I really do. It would be very difficult.
I know you can't become if you only say what you would have done and you'll miss a million miles of fun." - Len Work hard, play hard. Don't forget who you are and don't forget where you're from. Do all these things well and you won't have to wonder where you are going.
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Roger Wright wrote: This is certainly not the sort of thing one posts in the Lounge; we prefer light conversation here. I think this is an outstanding post. Anything that reminds us to count each minute, cherish each moment and not let loved ones leave our sight without a hug is great. You have my sympathy for your situation. When it's my turn I'm going to be in *bad* shape. But I'm an emotional wuss. Your post was very refreshing because by the time I reached the end of it I had no idea how your father was dying but I had a poignant view for how he lived. I read this earlier today and resolved to not reply until later. (I wanted time to just reflect on the power of it.) Obviously a tremendous man and it must have been a very rich experience to be his son. Facing tomorrow is an unknown but he's already taught you the things you need to know to handle it. This was a great post Roger. By the time I reached the end of it I was thinking, "GOSH! I bet there's so much more to read and I bet it's great." I don't know what else to say but I'm just fine reading this in the lounge, my inbox or anywhere else. Let us know how things go. - Rex P.S. - My own experiences of watching my daughter die several times in front me, bringing her back to life and then slowly watching her starve to death over several months allow me to sympathize keenly with you. A gutsy surgery by a brilliant surgeon saved my daughters life and changed it forever when she was about 1 year old. We then fought like hell to keep her alive for the next 2 years. But that's another story and this is the time for you to share yours. My point in all of this being that in some ways I've been where you are. Knowing not what tomorrow may bring can be a burden. I hope you do well with all of this I really do. It would be very difficult.
I know you can't become if you only say what you would have done and you'll miss a million miles of fun." - Len Work hard, play hard. Don't forget who you are and don't forget where you're from. Do all these things well and you won't have to wonder where you are going.
Code Frog wrote: My own experiences of watching my daughter die several times in front me, bringing her back to life and then slowly watching her starve to death over several months allow me to sympathize keenly with you. A gutsy surgery by a brilliant surgeon saved my daughters life and changed it forever when she was about 1 year old. We then fought like hell to keep her alive for the next 2 years. I can't imagine what that must be like, but I want to hear your story about it... Dad passed away tonight about 6:30 PM, peacefully and, I believe without discomfort or regret. I am grateful to God for being allowed to be his son, and the beneficiary of his wisdom all these 50 years. The funeral will not be that difficult, as I know that he lived a rich life, gave much to our world and to his family - he did his honest best. What more can any of us do? I mourn his passing, but only for selfish reasons, only because I will miss chatting with him on the phone. He gave his all to his world, his country, his family, and most of all, to me. I'm glad I had him as a role model, and I hope I may be allowed one day to pass on what he gave to my life. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley
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Code Frog wrote: My own experiences of watching my daughter die several times in front me, bringing her back to life and then slowly watching her starve to death over several months allow me to sympathize keenly with you. A gutsy surgery by a brilliant surgeon saved my daughters life and changed it forever when she was about 1 year old. We then fought like hell to keep her alive for the next 2 years. I can't imagine what that must be like, but I want to hear your story about it... Dad passed away tonight about 6:30 PM, peacefully and, I believe without discomfort or regret. I am grateful to God for being allowed to be his son, and the beneficiary of his wisdom all these 50 years. The funeral will not be that difficult, as I know that he lived a rich life, gave much to our world and to his family - he did his honest best. What more can any of us do? I mourn his passing, but only for selfish reasons, only because I will miss chatting with him on the phone. He gave his all to his world, his country, his family, and most of all, to me. I'm glad I had him as a role model, and I hope I may be allowed one day to pass on what he gave to my life. "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley
Roger Wright wrote: The funeral will not be that difficult, as I know that he lived a rich life, gave much to our world and to his family - he did his honest best. My grand mother died not even 2 weeks ago. She was an amazing woman who didn't have the easiest life. I was stricken pretty hard by it (remember I'm a wuss) for a few days. Then I got ahold of the same truth you have and things got a lot easier. She was 86 and I know for a fact she's in a better place. I don't know why but your post and your attitude about things has been very refreshing. I'm sorry for your loss in many ways. This whole thread has been incredibly encouraging though. Roger Wright wrote: and I hope I may be allowed one day to pass on what he gave to my life. I think that there are many here who might tell you they've already received some of the benefits. I know I have. If you ever do a biography I'd like to read it and I mean that. He sounded like a great man and you don't strike me as being anything less. You've certainly encouraged me and I appreciate your honesty about your father. Dad's are so important and we don't often get the credit we have earned. Send me an email to (remove hashes, pounds, sharps or whatever) r#e#x#@#c#o#d#e#-#f#r#o#g#.#c#o#m I'll send you a link that tells you Katie's story up to where she was 1 year old. - Rex
I know you can't become if you only say what you would have done and you'll miss a million miles of fun." - Len Work hard, play hard. Don't forget who you are and don't forget where you're from. Do all these things well and you won't have to wonder where you are going.
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Roger Wright wrote: The funeral will not be that difficult, as I know that he lived a rich life, gave much to our world and to his family - he did his honest best. My grand mother died not even 2 weeks ago. She was an amazing woman who didn't have the easiest life. I was stricken pretty hard by it (remember I'm a wuss) for a few days. Then I got ahold of the same truth you have and things got a lot easier. She was 86 and I know for a fact she's in a better place. I don't know why but your post and your attitude about things has been very refreshing. I'm sorry for your loss in many ways. This whole thread has been incredibly encouraging though. Roger Wright wrote: and I hope I may be allowed one day to pass on what he gave to my life. I think that there are many here who might tell you they've already received some of the benefits. I know I have. If you ever do a biography I'd like to read it and I mean that. He sounded like a great man and you don't strike me as being anything less. You've certainly encouraged me and I appreciate your honesty about your father. Dad's are so important and we don't often get the credit we have earned. Send me an email to (remove hashes, pounds, sharps or whatever) r#e#x#@#c#o#d#e#-#f#r#o#g#.#c#o#m I'll send you a link that tells you Katie's story up to where she was 1 year old. - Rex
I know you can't become if you only say what you would have done and you'll miss a million miles of fun." - Len Work hard, play hard. Don't forget who you are and don't forget where you're from. Do all these things well and you won't have to wonder where you are going.
Code Frog wrote: This whole thread has been incredibly encouraging though I'm glad for that...:) Code Frog wrote: they've already received some of the benefits. I hope so. Lessons learned grow in value when they are passed on, I think. I'm sorry to hear about yur grand mother, but you sound as if you're coping with it well. Grand parents, like parents but in a different way, are treasures beyond measuring. Unburdened by the responsibility of maintaining discipline, they are much more free to participate in our lives, to be friends and companions rather than authority figures. I was blessed with a couple of excellent grand parents, too, and am much richer for the experience.:-D "...putting all your eggs in one basket along with your bowling ball and gym clothes only gets you scrambled eggs and an extra laundry day... " - Jeffry J. Brickley