Another JOTD (Joke of the Day)
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Computer Sayings There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Hit any user to continue. I wish life had an UNDO function. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. Managing programmers is like herding cats. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
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Computer Sayings There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Hit any user to continue. I wish life had an UNDO function. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. Managing programmers is like herding cats. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
Carlos Antollini wrote: Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Hilarious! Carlos Antollini wrote: "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true." Also hilarious! Carlos Antollini wrote: "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea." Oh, I'm not that bad with a soldering iron... but damn, who was the brainiac that decided that user's should have a say in the software I write for them?! J
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Computer Sayings There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Hit any user to continue. I wish life had an UNDO function. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. Managing programmers is like herding cats. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
"This is BETA software, and as such may completely destroy your computer, change the alignment of the planets and invert the structure of the universe." Regards Thomas Finally with Sonork id: 100.10453 Thömmi
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Computer Sayings There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Hit any user to continue. I wish life had an UNDO function. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. Managing programmers is like herding cats. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
Carlos Antollini wrote: Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Followed a month later by:"You moron, this isn't what they wanted!" Which pretty much sums up my career... "Thank you, thank you very much" Elvis.
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Computer Sayings There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Hit any user to continue. I wish life had an UNDO function. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? A good programmer makes all the right mistakes. Managing programmers is like herding cats. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not
Carlos Antollini wrote: "To know recursion, you must first know recursion" Clever... Carlos Antollini wrote: Hey! It compiles! Ship it! lol! Keep them coming. :laugh: Simon Nobody does chicken like MFC Sonork ID 100.10024
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Carlos Antollini wrote: Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Followed a month later by:"You moron, this isn't what they wanted!" Which pretty much sums up my career... "Thank you, thank you very much" Elvis.
Stan Shannon wrote: Which pretty much sums up my career... Mine too... Nish Sonork ID 100.9786 voidmain www.busterboy.org If you don't find me on CP, I'll be at Bob's HungOut