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Technical Support!!!

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • M Offline
    M Offline
    mwith
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Fun http://www.onlanka.com/fun/techsupport.htm

    B L R F 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M mwith

      Fun http://www.onlanka.com/fun/techsupport.htm

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Bradml
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
      his computer is faulty.

      Tech: What's the problem?

      User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

      Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

      User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

      Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

      User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
      and it will fix the
      problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

      10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
      is frustrated and fed up.

      Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
      is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

      User: I knew it!

      Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

      Letme know how it goes.

      10 minutes later.

      User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

      Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

      User: MS-DOS 6.22.

      Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
      NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
      the file. Let me know how it goes.

      1 hour later.

      User: I need a new power supply.

      Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

      User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
      started asking questions about the make of power supply.

      Tech: Then what did he say?

      User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

      :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: I am laughing so hard I fell off my chair:laugh::laugh:


      Brad Australian - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.

      P W E 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • M mwith

        Fun http://www.onlanka.com/fun/techsupport.htm

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        The sad thing is that there are really people like that.

        █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒██████▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • M mwith

          Fun http://www.onlanka.com/fun/techsupport.htm

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Rajesh R Subramanian
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          From the link:

          9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?" Customer: "Pentium."

          :laugh::laugh::laugh:


          Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • B Bradml

            16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
            his computer is faulty.

            Tech: What's the problem?

            User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

            Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

            User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

            Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

            User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
            and it will fix the
            problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

            10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
            is frustrated and fed up.

            Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
            is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

            User: I knew it!

            Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

            Letme know how it goes.

            10 minutes later.

            User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

            Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

            User: MS-DOS 6.22.

            Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
            NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
            the file. Let me know how it goes.

            1 hour later.

            User: I need a new power supply.

            Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

            User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
            started asking questions about the make of power supply.

            Tech: Then what did he say?

            User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

            :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: I am laughing so hard I fell off my chair:laugh::laugh:


            Brad Australian - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            It ain't broke until Microsoft's involved?:-D ROFLMAO - this is priceless.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: The best tech support incident that I've ever heard. I award you 10 out of 5.

            the last thing I want to see is some pasty-faced geek with skin so pale that it's almost translucent trying to bump parts with a partner - John Simmons / outlaw programmer
            Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • B Bradml

              16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
              his computer is faulty.

              Tech: What's the problem?

              User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

              Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

              User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

              Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

              User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
              and it will fix the
              problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

              10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
              is frustrated and fed up.

              Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
              is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

              User: I knew it!

              Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

              Letme know how it goes.

              10 minutes later.

              User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

              Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

              User: MS-DOS 6.22.

              Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
              NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
              the file. Let me know how it goes.

              1 hour later.

              User: I need a new power supply.

              Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

              User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
              started asking questions about the make of power supply.

              Tech: Then what did he say?

              User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

              :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: I am laughing so hard I fell off my chair:laugh::laugh:


              Brad Australian - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wout de zeeuw
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Whaaaaaa! Good one! :-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O :-O:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-O :-D:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-D :-D:-O:-D:-O:-O:-D:-O:-D :-D:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-D :-D:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-D :-D:-O:-D:-O:-O:-D:-O:-D :-D:-O:-O:-D:-D:-O:-O:-D :-D:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-D :-O:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-O :-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O:-O (Yes, I'm stalling my real work)

              Wout

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • B Bradml

                16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
                his computer is faulty.

                Tech: What's the problem?

                User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

                Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

                User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

                Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

                User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
                and it will fix the
                problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

                10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
                is frustrated and fed up.

                Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
                is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

                User: I knew it!

                Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

                Letme know how it goes.

                10 minutes later.

                User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

                Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

                User: MS-DOS 6.22.

                Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
                NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
                the file. Let me know how it goes.

                1 hour later.

                User: I need a new power supply.

                Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

                User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
                started asking questions about the make of power supply.

                Tech: Then what did he say?

                User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

                :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: I am laughing so hard I fell off my chair:laugh::laugh:


                Brad Australian - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.

                E Offline
                E Offline
                Eytukan
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                :laugh:


                Code-Frog:So if this is Pumpkinhead. Time for him to run and hide. It's an interesting thought really.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • M mwith

                  Fun http://www.onlanka.com/fun/techsupport.htm

                  F Offline
                  F Offline
                  Frank Kerrigan
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  made me laugh. I was helping this young lady once with word one time. She: Look word won't go onto the next line. She taps furiously at the down arrow ME: Lets see I press return key and it goes onto the next line. She in awe: How did you know how to do that ???? I decided then it was time to move more into development.


                  Blog Have I http:\\www.frankkerrigan.com

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