Time to come out: I'm a 24-year-old female
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Well not me, but I think I will try my hand as an online agony aunt... I'm a 24-year-old female and my husband is a 37-year-old male. I have a very serious problem when it comes to our sex life: My husband doesn't give me any foreplay or oral sex. I ask for it very nicely, but it just doesn't get done: His knees always hurt, or he has a backache. Backache or not, he likes for me to do him. Lately I've been thinking of seeking comfort from someone a little younger. Could you give me some of that clever, rude advice on how to ask him in a shìtty-ass way to give me some head? — Backed Up PS: I haven't had an orgasm in three years. Doctore Dave replies... Here's a snappy, smartass line that might do the trick: "Eat my pussy or I'll break your f**king legs." If that doesn't work, try this one: "Honey, you're going to eat my pussy or I'm going to divorce your sorry ass." Or the next time he wants some head, say: "Does my baby lamb want a blowjob? Well, f**k off, you selfish, unresponsive bastard. Do you know it's been three years since I had an orgasm? Suck your own goddamned dick!" As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0209/savage.php ____________________ David Wulff There was a young man called Dave, Who dug up a prositutes grave, She was mouldy as shìt, And missing a tit, But look at the money he saved. Dave's Code Project Screensaver and Wallpaper page.
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Well not me, but I think I will try my hand as an online agony aunt... I'm a 24-year-old female and my husband is a 37-year-old male. I have a very serious problem when it comes to our sex life: My husband doesn't give me any foreplay or oral sex. I ask for it very nicely, but it just doesn't get done: His knees always hurt, or he has a backache. Backache or not, he likes for me to do him. Lately I've been thinking of seeking comfort from someone a little younger. Could you give me some of that clever, rude advice on how to ask him in a shìtty-ass way to give me some head? — Backed Up PS: I haven't had an orgasm in three years. Doctore Dave replies... Here's a snappy, smartass line that might do the trick: "Eat my pussy or I'll break your f**king legs." If that doesn't work, try this one: "Honey, you're going to eat my pussy or I'm going to divorce your sorry ass." Or the next time he wants some head, say: "Does my baby lamb want a blowjob? Well, f**k off, you selfish, unresponsive bastard. Do you know it's been three years since I had an orgasm? Suck your own goddamned dick!" As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0209/savage.php ____________________ David Wulff There was a young man called Dave, Who dug up a prositutes grave, She was mouldy as shìt, And missing a tit, But look at the money he saved. Dave's Code Project Screensaver and Wallpaper page.
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Well not me, but I think I will try my hand as an online agony aunt... I'm a 24-year-old female and my husband is a 37-year-old male. I have a very serious problem when it comes to our sex life: My husband doesn't give me any foreplay or oral sex. I ask for it very nicely, but it just doesn't get done: His knees always hurt, or he has a backache. Backache or not, he likes for me to do him. Lately I've been thinking of seeking comfort from someone a little younger. Could you give me some of that clever, rude advice on how to ask him in a shìtty-ass way to give me some head? — Backed Up PS: I haven't had an orgasm in three years. Doctore Dave replies... Here's a snappy, smartass line that might do the trick: "Eat my pussy or I'll break your f**king legs." If that doesn't work, try this one: "Honey, you're going to eat my pussy or I'm going to divorce your sorry ass." Or the next time he wants some head, say: "Does my baby lamb want a blowjob? Well, f**k off, you selfish, unresponsive bastard. Do you know it's been three years since I had an orgasm? Suck your own goddamned dick!" As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0209/savage.php ____________________ David Wulff There was a young man called Dave, Who dug up a prositutes grave, She was mouldy as shìt, And missing a tit, But look at the money he saved. Dave's Code Project Screensaver and Wallpaper page.
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Well not me, but I think I will try my hand as an online agony aunt... I'm a 24-year-old female and my husband is a 37-year-old male. I have a very serious problem when it comes to our sex life: My husband doesn't give me any foreplay or oral sex. I ask for it very nicely, but it just doesn't get done: His knees always hurt, or he has a backache. Backache or not, he likes for me to do him. Lately I've been thinking of seeking comfort from someone a little younger. Could you give me some of that clever, rude advice on how to ask him in a shìtty-ass way to give me some head? — Backed Up PS: I haven't had an orgasm in three years. Doctore Dave replies... Here's a snappy, smartass line that might do the trick: "Eat my pussy or I'll break your f**king legs." If that doesn't work, try this one: "Honey, you're going to eat my pussy or I'm going to divorce your sorry ass." Or the next time he wants some head, say: "Does my baby lamb want a blowjob? Well, f**k off, you selfish, unresponsive bastard. Do you know it's been three years since I had an orgasm? Suck your own goddamned dick!" As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0209/savage.php ____________________ David Wulff There was a young man called Dave, Who dug up a prositutes grave, She was mouldy as shìt, And missing a tit, But look at the money he saved. Dave's Code Project Screensaver and Wallpaper page.
David Wulff wrote: As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. Rofl! :laugh: Now that is funny. Go, girl! :D
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David Wulff wrote: As for steppin' out for the oral sex you deserve: Go for it. Your husband sounds like the type who'd rather be cheated on than be pestered for sex. Find yourself a hot number around your own age with a tongue that won't quit. Then take out a large life insurance policy on the box of rocks you married, encourage him to take up drinking and driving, and keep your fingers crossed. Rofl! :laugh: Now that is funny. Go, girl! :D
Hi again, Anna. Don't suppose you want to submit a pic to be included in the 'chicks of CP' section of my screen saver ? Christian The tragedy of cyberspace - that so much can travel so far, and yet mean so little. And you don't spend much time with the opposite sex working day and night, unless the pizza delivery person happens to be young, cute, single and female. I can assure you, I've consumed more than a programmer's allotment of pizza, and these conditions have never aligned. - Christopher Duncan - 18/04/2002
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Hi again, Anna. Don't suppose you want to submit a pic to be included in the 'chicks of CP' section of my screen saver ? Christian The tragedy of cyberspace - that so much can travel so far, and yet mean so little. And you don't spend much time with the opposite sex working day and night, unless the pizza delivery person happens to be young, cute, single and female. I can assure you, I've consumed more than a programmer's allotment of pizza, and these conditions have never aligned. - Christopher Duncan - 18/04/2002
Whilst I'm very flattered to be asked I'm afraid I don't yet feel presentable enough yet to upload a picture - so I'm afraid I'll have to decline the offer. :( That will change sooner or later though, and when it does I'll be quite happy for you to use it. :) Anna :rose: