Tough decisions lie ahead...HELP!
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
jchigg2000 wrote:
Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
No. The decision is yours and yours alone (well you and your wife), so don't try to get others to take responsibility for your dilemma. Whenever somebody asks for advice like this, they already know what they are going to do and are just looking for validation from others, so do what you see fit and accept the consequences. Sorry if this seems harsh, but it's based on real experience.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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jchigg2000 wrote:
Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
No. The decision is yours and yours alone (well you and your wife), so don't try to get others to take responsibility for your dilemma. Whenever somebody asks for advice like this, they already know what they are going to do and are just looking for validation from others, so do what you see fit and accept the consequences. Sorry if this seems harsh, but it's based on real experience.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
Well, you've given me good advice nonetheless. Sometimes it helps me to put these things in writing just to document the thoughts. I'm a software developer so naturally I'm trying to think logically through this, which isn't working!!! :)
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Well, you've given me good advice nonetheless. Sometimes it helps me to put these things in writing just to document the thoughts. I'm a software developer so naturally I'm trying to think logically through this, which isn't working!!! :)
jchigg2000 wrote:
Sometimes it helps me to put these things in writing just to get the thoughts out.
It certainly does. Articulation is generally all you need to make the choice. It's the same as when you are facing a problem at work, perhaps your code doesn't compile; as soon as you call somebody over to take a look at the problem you get the answer. This happens to me all the time.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
When I was doing my masters, myself and my wife had out first son. It was life-changing experience. One of the things I contemplated back then was to take some time off my study and tend to the need of the family. My wife was going to school at the same time and I was working full time as well. We pulled it together with out sacrificing anything, even though it was really hard. Like Pete sad, ultimately it is your decision. Don't just look today's think about the future as well. Don't let emotions jeopardize your rational thinking. just my 2cents.
/* I can C */ // or !C Yusuf
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
You're supposed to do what's best for your kids - NOT the kid's grandparents.
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
One thing you need to consider is that in taking your child away from the grandparents is that you have lost access to the best four child care substitutes you'll ever have. That's likely to prove tougher on your wife than on you. At 4 weeks, I imagine you cannot conceive of wanting to spend an entire weekend away from your child, but i guarantee it will start happening, soon.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
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One thing you need to consider is that in taking your child away from the grandparents is that you have lost access to the best four child care substitutes you'll ever have. That's likely to prove tougher on your wife than on you. At 4 weeks, I imagine you cannot conceive of wanting to spend an entire weekend away from your child, but i guarantee it will start happening, soon.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
you have lost access to the best four child care substitutes you'll ever have
Add to that: cheapest.
I'm largely language agnostic
After a while they all bug me :doh:
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Hello all. Just looking for a bit of advice here as I've got a career/life decision to make! My wife an I just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago! It has been quite an experience and maybe the sleep deprivation is causing a bit of this :-). Anyhow, my current situation is working for a health insurance with a TON of legacy systems and a lot of incompetence. I would like to move on from this position if possible. Now the complicated part: I am currently working on a Master's degree online through Colorado State University. I have the opportunity to move to Fort Collins and finish this program on-campus while working in software development research at the university. This sounds fine and dandy, but I feel VERY bad about taking the first grandchild away from the grandparents. I do plan to go on to get a PhD after I finish my masters next fall, so the experience I would gain would be quite invaluable. Anyone have any words of encouragement that would help me feel better about taking this little girl away from her grandparents for a few years?!?
Unless your parents (or in-laws) are in a state of needing care by you or your wife, I would think they'd be very supportive of you wanting to advance yourself in this fashion.
"Love people and use things, not love things and use people." - Unknown"To have a respect for ourselves guides our morals; to have deference for others governs our manners." - Laurence Sterne