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English eh?

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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Rajasekharan Vengalil
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Maybe you've seen all of these before but still worth a laugh or two eh?! These are all extracts from letters allegedly written by not-so-literate Indians.

    • "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave." - this application for leave got instantly approved apparently with this somewhat puzzling post-script in the reply - Tell me how you did it!.
    • "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.." - kind of gruesome don't you think?
    • "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." - off - that's the word you're looking for mate - marrying off!
    • "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." - gotta hide the body and generally let things cool off you know.
    • "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" - casual cremation is fairly rampant in these parts you see.
    • "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." - declare a 3 day nation-wide mourning too while you're at it, yeah?
    • "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" - sweetly candid kind of student eh?!
    • "I am enclosed herewith..." - ah, so that's what that big box I got in the mail contained.
    • "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.." - I am so glad I am not the addressee.
    • "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave" - at work's a different issue altogether obviously.
    • "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well." - because i've been swimming around looking for you all day man...
    • "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post." - experience is always good, really.

    -- gleat http://blogorama.nerdworks.in[^] --

    Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keepin

    R B C 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • R Rajasekharan Vengalil

      Maybe you've seen all of these before but still worth a laugh or two eh?! These are all extracts from letters allegedly written by not-so-literate Indians.

      • "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave." - this application for leave got instantly approved apparently with this somewhat puzzling post-script in the reply - Tell me how you did it!.
      • "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.." - kind of gruesome don't you think?
      • "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." - off - that's the word you're looking for mate - marrying off!
      • "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." - gotta hide the body and generally let things cool off you know.
      • "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" - casual cremation is fairly rampant in these parts you see.
      • "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." - declare a 3 day nation-wide mourning too while you're at it, yeah?
      • "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" - sweetly candid kind of student eh?!
      • "I am enclosed herewith..." - ah, so that's what that big box I got in the mail contained.
      • "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.." - I am so glad I am not the addressee.
      • "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave" - at work's a different issue altogether obviously.
      • "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well." - because i've been swimming around looking for you all day man...
      • "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post." - experience is always good, really.

      -- gleat http://blogorama.nerdworks.in[^] --

      Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keepin

      R Offline
      R Offline
      Rajesh R Subramanian
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      gleat wrote:

      # As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." - gotta hide the body and generally let things cool off you know.

      gleat wrote:

      "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" - casual cremation is fairly rampant in these parts you see.

      :laugh:

      Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. Codeproject.com: Visual C++ MVP

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R Rajasekharan Vengalil

        Maybe you've seen all of these before but still worth a laugh or two eh?! These are all extracts from letters allegedly written by not-so-literate Indians.

        • "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave." - this application for leave got instantly approved apparently with this somewhat puzzling post-script in the reply - Tell me how you did it!.
        • "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.." - kind of gruesome don't you think?
        • "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." - off - that's the word you're looking for mate - marrying off!
        • "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." - gotta hide the body and generally let things cool off you know.
        • "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" - casual cremation is fairly rampant in these parts you see.
        • "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." - declare a 3 day nation-wide mourning too while you're at it, yeah?
        • "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" - sweetly candid kind of student eh?!
        • "I am enclosed herewith..." - ah, so that's what that big box I got in the mail contained.
        • "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.." - I am so glad I am not the addressee.
        • "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave" - at work's a different issue altogether obviously.
        • "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well." - because i've been swimming around looking for you all day man...
        • "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post." - experience is always good, really.

        -- gleat http://blogorama.nerdworks.in[^] --

        Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keepin

        B Offline
        B Offline
        Bradml
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        gleat wrote:

        "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.."

        I just might use that one day.


        Brad Australian The PHP MVP - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • R Rajasekharan Vengalil

          Maybe you've seen all of these before but still worth a laugh or two eh?! These are all extracts from letters allegedly written by not-so-literate Indians.

          • "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave." - this application for leave got instantly approved apparently with this somewhat puzzling post-script in the reply - Tell me how you did it!.
          • "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.." - kind of gruesome don't you think?
          • "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." - off - that's the word you're looking for mate - marrying off!
          • "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." - gotta hide the body and generally let things cool off you know.
          • "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" - casual cremation is fairly rampant in these parts you see.
          • "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." - declare a 3 day nation-wide mourning too while you're at it, yeah?
          • "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" - sweetly candid kind of student eh?!
          • "I am enclosed herewith..." - ah, so that's what that big box I got in the mail contained.
          • "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below.." - I am so glad I am not the addressee.
          • "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave" - at work's a different issue altogether obviously.
          • "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well." - because i've been swimming around looking for you all day man...
          • "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post." - experience is always good, really.

          -- gleat http://blogorama.nerdworks.in[^] --

          Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keepin

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Colin Angus Mackay
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

          Upcoming FREE developer events: * Developer Day Scotland Recent blog posts: * Mixins in C#3.0 My website | Blog

          P E V 3 Replies Last reply
          0
          • C Colin Angus Mackay

            On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

            Upcoming FREE developer events: * Developer Day Scotland Recent blog posts: * Mixins in C#3.0 My website | Blog

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

            On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

            Goodness gracious me.

            Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

            My blog | My articles

            B 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • P Pete OHanlon

              Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

              On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

              Goodness gracious me.

              Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

              My blog | My articles

              B Offline
              B Offline
              Brady Kelly
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              'n all:laugh:

              Pits fall into Chuck Norris.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C Colin Angus Mackay

                On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

                Upcoming FREE developer events: * Developer Day Scotland Recent blog posts: * Mixins in C#3.0 My website | Blog

                E Offline
                E Offline
                El Corazon
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

                actually if it is the same one I have from AT&T, I have had it for about 3 years. I have this preference for some female accents... british and indian mainly. :)

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • C Colin Angus Mackay

                  On a related topic: I was looking at text-to-speech tools yesterday and I noticed that you can now get the tools to read out the text in English with an Indian accent now.

                  Upcoming FREE developer events: * Developer Day Scotland Recent blog posts: * Mixins in C#3.0 My website | Blog

                  V Offline
                  V Offline
                  Vikram A Punathambekar
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Specifically which tool?

                  Cheers, Vikram.


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