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2 Minute Management Course

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • H Offline
    H Offline
    Harvey Saayman
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Lesson 1
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
    Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
    towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
    After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
    back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
    door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
    me?"
    Moral of the story:
    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
    may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2
    A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
    The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
    leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
    he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
    priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
    way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
    seek, further up, you will find glory."
    Moral of the story:
    If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

    Lesson 3
    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
    oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
    " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
    without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
    be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
    the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
    says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
    Moral of the story:
    Always let your boss have the first say

    Lesson 4
    An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

    L D R C G 6 Replies Last reply
    0
    • H Harvey Saayman

      Lesson 1
      A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
      The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
      Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
      towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
      After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
      back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
      door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
      me?"
      Moral of the story:
      If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
      may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

      Lesson 2
      A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
      The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
      leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
      he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
      priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
      way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
      seek, further up, you will find glory."
      Moral of the story:
      If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

      Lesson 3
      A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
      oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
      " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
      without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
      be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
      the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
      says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
      Moral of the story:
      Always let your boss have the first say

      Lesson 4
      An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      it took me 3 min ;P I read it in teh joke gallary

      The Web Developer. Beirout-Lebanon

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • H Harvey Saayman

        Lesson 1
        A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
        The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
        Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
        towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
        After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
        back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
        door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
        me?"
        Moral of the story:
        If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
        may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

        Lesson 2
        A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
        The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
        leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
        he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
        priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
        way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
        seek, further up, you will find glory."
        Moral of the story:
        If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

        Lesson 3
        A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
        oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
        " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
        without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
        be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
        the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
        says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
        Moral of the story:
        Always let your boss have the first say

        Lesson 4
        An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

        D Offline
        D Offline
        Dalek Dave
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Repost, but still readable.

        ------------------------------------ "The production of useful work is strictly limited by the laws of thermodynamics. The production of useless work seems to be unlimited." - Donald E. Simanek

        H 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • D Dalek Dave

          Repost, but still readable.

          ------------------------------------ "The production of useful work is strictly limited by the laws of thermodynamics. The production of useless work seems to be unlimited." - Donald E. Simanek

          H Offline
          H Offline
          Harvey Saayman
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          my bad :)

          Harvey Saayman - South Africa Junior Developer .Net, C#, SQL

          you.suck = (you.passion != Programming)

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • H Harvey Saayman

            Lesson 1
            A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
            The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
            Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
            towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
            After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
            back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
            door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
            me?"
            Moral of the story:
            If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
            may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

            Lesson 2
            A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
            The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
            leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
            he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
            priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
            way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
            seek, further up, you will find glory."
            Moral of the story:
            If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

            Lesson 3
            A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
            oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
            " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
            without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
            be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
            the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
            says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
            Moral of the story:
            Always let your boss have the first say

            Lesson 4
            An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Rajesh R Subramanian
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Repost, but nevertheless, I still enjoyed it. See Corporate Lesson[^] and The 3 minute management course[^] The [pre] [/pre] tags were not necessary though.

            Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal - Friedrich Nietzsche .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. [Microsoft MVP - Visual C++]

            M 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • H Harvey Saayman

              Lesson 1
              A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
              The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
              Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
              towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
              After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
              back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
              door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
              me?"
              Moral of the story:
              If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
              may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

              Lesson 2
              A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
              The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
              leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
              he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
              priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
              way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
              seek, further up, you will find glory."
              Moral of the story:
              If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

              Lesson 3
              A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
              oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
              " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
              without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
              be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
              the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
              says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
              Moral of the story:
              Always let your boss have the first say

              Lesson 4
              An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

              C Offline
              C Offline
              Corinna John
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              This one should be re-posted every month... :rolleyes:

              This statement is false.

              H 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C Corinna John

                This one should be re-posted every month... :rolleyes:

                This statement is false.

                H Offline
                H Offline
                Harvey Saayman
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                be careful what you wish for ;P

                Harvey Saayman - South Africa Junior Developer .Net, C#, SQL

                you.suck = (you.passion != Programming)

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • H Harvey Saayman

                  Lesson 1
                  A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
                  The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
                  Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
                  towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
                  After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
                  back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
                  door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
                  me?"
                  Moral of the story:
                  If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
                  may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

                  Lesson 2
                  A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
                  The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
                  leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
                  he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
                  priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
                  way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
                  seek, further up, you will find glory."
                  Moral of the story:
                  If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

                  Lesson 3
                  A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
                  oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
                  " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
                  without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
                  be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
                  the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
                  says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
                  Moral of the story:
                  Always let your boss have the first say

                  Lesson 4
                  An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  Gretna
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Heard most of them before but still worth a read. :laugh:

                  "When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV" - Homer Simpson

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                    Repost, but nevertheless, I still enjoyed it. See Corporate Lesson[^] and The 3 minute management course[^] The [pre] [/pre] tags were not necessary though.

                    Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal - Friedrich Nietzsche .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. [Microsoft MVP - Visual C++]

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    MatthysDT
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Your "REPOST POST" is a repost ;P

                    Doggy treat[^]

                    R 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • M MatthysDT

                      Your "REPOST POST" is a repost ;P

                      Doggy treat[^]

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Rajesh R Subramanian
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Just what I thought. :)

                      Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal - Friedrich Nietzsche .·´¯`·->Rajesh<-·´¯`·. [Microsoft MVP - Visual C++]

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • H Harvey Saayman

                        Lesson 1
                        A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
                        The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
                        Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
                        towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
                        After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
                        back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
                        door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes
                        me?"
                        Moral of the story:
                        If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you
                        may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

                        Lesson 2
                        A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
                        The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
                        leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, hanging gears,
                        he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
                        priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
                        way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and
                        seek, further up, you will find glory."
                        Moral of the story:
                        If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

                        Lesson 3
                        A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
                        oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.
                        " Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
                        without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
                        be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
                        the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
                        says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
                        Moral of the story:
                        Always let your boss have the first say

                        Lesson 4
                        An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing not

                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                        Mike HankeyM Offline
                        Mike Hankey
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Good one! Certainly words to live by. Mike

                        Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^] My Site

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