Tourists to India - information in a lighter vein
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The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France) A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK ) A: You're a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Do you celebr
Probably not actual responses, as they seem to have come from canada too http://space.canoe.ca/traveleditor/blog/view/135931[^] (Some are slightly different, but equally amusing) [edit] or Australia: http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/faq.htm[^] [/edit]
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit! Buzzwords!
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Probably not actual responses, as they seem to have come from canada too http://space.canoe.ca/traveleditor/blog/view/135931[^] (Some are slightly different, but equally amusing) [edit] or Australia: http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/faq.htm[^] [/edit]
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit! Buzzwords!
Hmm... I got that in email. I didn't know its already out there on web. :-(
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Hmm... I got that in email. I didn't know its already out there on web. :-(
All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit! Buzzwords!
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All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit! Buzzwords!
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All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit! Buzzwords!
benjymous wrote:
All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
The language used was not Indian-English - so my first thought was that this was either written by an Indian American (or Indian Canadian), or it was a generic joke rehashed as an Indian joke. Indian-English is now almost different enough to be a separate language.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
benjymous wrote:
All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
The language used was not Indian-English - so my first thought was that this was either written by an Indian American (or Indian Canadian), or it was a generic joke rehashed as an Indian joke. Indian-English is now almost different enough to be a separate language.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
AndyInUK wrote:
You seem to be an Indian and you are writing in same english as we do ?
I am a linguist. :rolleyes:
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France) A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK ) A: You're a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Do you celebr
This is all because of Discovery Channel...!!! :-D And poor quality results from www.google.co.in :)
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The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France) A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK ) A: You're a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Do you celebr
Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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benjymous wrote:
All I did was google a few snippets of it, and found plenty of versions out there
The language used was not Indian-English - so my first thought was that this was either written by an Indian American (or Indian Canadian), or it was a generic joke rehashed as an Indian joke. Indian-English is now almost different enough to be a separate language.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com linkNishant Sivakumar wrote:
The language used was not Indian-English
Indian-English? Sorta like Aranglish? (Arabic + English)
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
The language used was not Indian-English
Indian-English? Sorta like Aranglish? (Arabic + English)
Mustafa Ismail Mustafa wrote:
Indian-English? Sorta like Aranglish? (Arabic + English)
No, not the accent - I mean the Indian dialect of English with its own grammar, phrases, semantics - the whole works :-) See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_English[^]
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
Mustafa Ismail Mustafa wrote:
Indian-English? Sorta like Aranglish? (Arabic + English)
No, not the accent - I mean the Indian dialect of English with its own grammar, phrases, semantics - the whole works :-) See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_English[^]
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com linkNishant Sivakumar wrote:
No, not the accent - I mean the Indian dialect of English with its own grammar, phrases, semantics - the whole works
You pretty much summed up Aranglish. The accent part is easy. Replace all Ps with Bs, so "can I park here?" becomes "can I bark here?"