On the subject of Americans
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
David Wulff wrote: On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. How do you know they were American as opposed to Canadian? Accents can be nearly identical you know. David Wulff wrote: The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. They probably frequent Mexico on their vacations. When shopping in Mexico (and many other places) it is customary to negotiate prices rather than accept the advertised price. David Wulff wrote: This time there was a fat American kid walking past me... - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I can see where his confusion arose. Most zoos in the US also offer food and beverages at restaurants or snack shops. He probably didn't realize that the UK had to shut them all down due to Mad Monkey disease. ;P ;P
Mike Mullikin :beer: You can't really dust for vomit. Nigel Tufnel - Spinal Tap
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
David Wulff wrote: trying to haggle the price of *everything* They are used to it. Before my visit in US I was told that it's common there to haggle and it really functioned. First I was reluctant to it, but it is nice to drop the price of a motel room from 50$ to 25$ (my best, but at least 15% down was not a problem). Pavel Sonork 100.15206
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
I see the subject of accents has come up further down, just as I was thinking about that. It's hard to say whether it's the accent that makes us want to laugh at everything they say when vacationing in our homelands, or just the fact that they tend to speak so loudly (I seem to be falling into the hole of generalisations ;P ). Perhaps 5 or 6 generations of living in a country with loads of space has just allowed evolution to take over their vocal chords. :)
Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator. - Marc Clifton
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
David Wulff wrote: I 'wanna' pizza Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Regards, Alvaro Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
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David Wulff wrote: Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. Yeah, just chock *full* of humour... why do you think we're shipping them out! :rolleyes:
Shog9 ------
No one's immune now, from a world of problems No one's exempt now, from a world of pain That's the way that it goes when you're down here with the rest of us...
Shog9 wrote: why do you think we're shipping them out! I often wonder if that might be more true than you guys actually let on. Every American I've ever met in the US is polite, considerate, almost overwhelmingly nice; every American I've met anywhere else in the world is loud, brash and obnoxious. Maybe this is because most of my time in the US has been in the mid-West or Florida, where they're deeply laid-back, but it's a bizarre phenomena. Paul Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see - Led Zeppelin, Misty Mountain Hop
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David Wulff wrote: I 'wanna' pizza Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Regards, Alvaro Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
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David Wulff wrote: Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. Yeah, just chock *full* of humour... why do you think we're shipping them out! :rolleyes:
Shog9 ------
No one's immune now, from a world of problems No one's exempt now, from a world of pain That's the way that it goes when you're down here with the rest of us...
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David Wulff wrote: I 'wanna' pizza Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Regards, Alvaro Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
canadians use both of those. -c
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. -- George Bernard Shaw
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David Wulff wrote: I 'wanna' pizza Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Regards, Alvaro Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
Alvaro Mendez wrote: Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Yes. In the midlands of the UK, we try to reduce words to as little effort as possible. Admittedly a little South of me, it's more like 'wunnuh' and 'gunnuh' but the principle is the same. Paul Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see - Led Zeppelin, Misty Mountain Hop
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
Couple of points to rain on your fun ;) 1) American Tourist != Average American. I don't know what happens to them when they leave the country, but my experience is they seem to get a bit more louder and a bit more obnoxious and a lot less tolerant. It seems to be the same thing that happens to Australian tourists when we leave home (though you can probably add "a lot more drunk" to the mix in that case as well). American's in their homeland are actually really, really nice people (Scout's honour!). As much as I myself have bitched about American tourists I've also done my fair share of apologising for Australian Tourists each time I come across a poor local who has met "my kind" before. In a similar vein I think any country that has ever hosted a European soccer game would probably not have warm feeling about certain Englishman. 2) haggling is a very common practice in most of the world. Come over to the land of the biggie size everything and you'll find that sticker prices and actual prices have absolutely nothing in common. It's really disturbing. 3) Did you have a camera and if not, why not? :D cheers, Chris Maunder
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lauren wrote: so u can spell properly huh? :-D Donno how you pronounce it, but here it's "hew-mer". Throwing in a 'u' near the end just seems ridiculous. Same with colour... But it's good to patronize Mr. Wulff once in a while... ;P
Shog9 ------
No one's immune now, from a world of problems No one's exempt now, from a world of pain That's the way that it goes when you're down here with the rest of us...
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On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. The second was at a place called Monkey World - a world renowned monkey centre. This time there was a fat American kid walking past me as I was watching a Chimpanze play with it's penis and finger it's arse concurently (that was a hilarious sight to see, it really was... pure postcard material!) - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I think I may have offended his parents as I passed comment to my dad along the lines of him seeming to mistake Monkey World for Pizza Hut. They were not impressed. Damn these imported yanks are hilarious. I'm thinking of starting a farm... I could loan them out to local clubs and bars for comedy nights! :-D
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
I'm American and I hate stupid American tourists..even in the US!! I was in Paris last summer waiting to get into Notre Dame and this stupid American woman was talking about how she didnt know what food to get for the kids so they just ate at McDonalds. McDonalds!! sigh. I seriously wanted to just beat her up and steal her purse... I felt that way almost the entire time in Paris..so many stupid Americans..blah. Trust me, most Americans arent assholes!! -dork
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lauren wrote: so u can spell properly huh? :-D Donno how you pronounce it, but here it's "hew-mer". Throwing in a 'u' near the end just seems ridiculous. Same with colour... But it's good to patronize Mr. Wulff once in a while... ;P
Shog9 ------
No one's immune now, from a world of problems No one's exempt now, from a world of pain That's the way that it goes when you're down here with the rest of us...
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Shog9 wrote: why do you think we're shipping them out! I often wonder if that might be more true than you guys actually let on. Every American I've ever met in the US is polite, considerate, almost overwhelmingly nice; every American I've met anywhere else in the world is loud, brash and obnoxious. Maybe this is because most of my time in the US has been in the mid-West or Florida, where they're deeply laid-back, but it's a bizarre phenomena. Paul Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see - Led Zeppelin, Misty Mountain Hop
Paul Riley wrote: Every American I've ever met in the US is polite, considerate, almost overwhelmingly nice; every American I've met anywhere else in the world is loud, brash and obnoxious. This is curiously true, but when I try to tell people who have never been to the US this, they don't seem to believe me. Ignorance on their part perhaps. Unfortunately this behaviour is not purely an American trait- perhaps their downfall is that they speak English so we understand what they are saying. I have been ashamed of other South African's on the London tubes on more than one occasion. They seem to think that just because they speak Afrikaans they can diss the English at the top of their voices. What they fail to realise is that many English speak Dutch and German and therefore have some understanding of what is being said. So why do people behave better at home than when away? Perhaps everyone just needs to let our hair down sometimes, even if it does strain international relations.
Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator. - Marc Clifton
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Paul Riley wrote: Every American I've ever met in the US is polite, considerate, almost overwhelmingly nice; every American I've met anywhere else in the world is loud, brash and obnoxious. This is curiously true, but when I try to tell people who have never been to the US this, they don't seem to believe me. Ignorance on their part perhaps. Unfortunately this behaviour is not purely an American trait- perhaps their downfall is that they speak English so we understand what they are saying. I have been ashamed of other South African's on the London tubes on more than one occasion. They seem to think that just because they speak Afrikaans they can diss the English at the top of their voices. What they fail to realise is that many English speak Dutch and German and therefore have some understanding of what is being said. So why do people behave better at home than when away? Perhaps everyone just needs to let our hair down sometimes, even if it does strain international relations.
Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator. - Marc Clifton
Megan Forbes wrote: So why do people behave better at home than when away? Perhaps everyone just needs to let our hair down sometimes, even if it does strain international relations. It is true to say that most Brits are also embarrassing to be around when you see them abroad... then again a good percentage of Brits are embarrassing to be around when they're at home too, so it's not so disturbing a contrast :-D Paul Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see - Led Zeppelin, Misty Mountain Hop
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David Wulff wrote: On my holiday to the New Forest last week I met American tourists twice. How do you know they were American as opposed to Canadian? Accents can be nearly identical you know. David Wulff wrote: The first was in a pretty little market town trying to haggle the price of *everything*, from a set of plates in a British Heart Foundation charity shop down by eighteen pounds ("they're not Staffordshire ya know and it's Staffordshire that're the big name over here in the U-Kay"), through to a bunch of flowers on the market. They probably frequent Mexico on their vacations. When shopping in Mexico (and many other places) it is customary to negotiate prices rather than accept the advertised price. David Wulff wrote: This time there was a fat American kid walking past me... - this boy said, and I swear I have not changed a word: "why are there only monkeys at Monkey World? I 'wanna' pizza." I can see where his confusion arose. Most zoos in the US also offer food and beverages at restaurants or snack shops. He probably didn't realize that the UK had to shut them all down due to Mad Monkey disease. ;P ;P
Mike Mullikin :beer: You can't really dust for vomit. Nigel Tufnel - Spinal Tap
Mike Mullikin wrote: How do you know they were American as opposed to Canadian? Accents can be nearly identical you know. Oh they were certainly American. To a non American and a non Canadian there is a *huge* difference in the accents, and they had a very distinictly western one. Mike Mullikin wrote: I can see where his confusion arose. Most zoos in the US also offer food and beverages at restaurants or snack shops. Sadly I couldn't add the verbal emphasis to my textual interpretation of what he said, but suffice to say that is not how it sounded at all. It came across as if he was expecting to see groups of chimps herding a flock of free-range tomato and peperonni pizzas. :-D Mike Mullikin wrote: They probably frequent Mexico on their vacations. When shopping in Mexico (and many other places) it is customary to negotiate prices rather than accept the advertised price In a charity shop?! Still, I expect it was a shock to find our prices are about 2:1 what they would pay at home and they assumed they must be open to haggling.
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
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David Wulff wrote: trying to haggle the price of *everything* They are used to it. Before my visit in US I was told that it's common there to haggle and it really functioned. First I was reluctant to it, but it is nice to drop the price of a motel room from 50$ to 25$ (my best, but at least 15% down was not a problem). Pavel Sonork 100.15206
Pavel Klocek wrote: to haggle Who actually haggles here? The last time I haggled was with Janina as to which side of the bed she got. Apart from that I either pay what the ticket says, or go somewhere cheaper. Also you can only haggle with the owner of the goods, not just someone who works for them. It is no good haggling with the lady at the drive thru over the price of a McCardboard. I just plain do not enjoy haggling, how about you?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa -
I'm American and I hate stupid American tourists..even in the US!! I was in Paris last summer waiting to get into Notre Dame and this stupid American woman was talking about how she didnt know what food to get for the kids so they just ate at McDonalds. McDonalds!! sigh. I seriously wanted to just beat her up and steal her purse... I felt that way almost the entire time in Paris..so many stupid Americans..blah. Trust me, most Americans arent assholes!! -dork
dorkshoe wrote: she didnt know what food to get for the kids so they just ate at McDonalds. In Paris??? :eek: Sacrilidge. I found my biggest problem in Paris was finding time to work my way through the collection of fabulous foods (and coffees) on offer. I don't think I saw a McDonalds. Paul Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see - Led Zeppelin, Misty Mountain Hop
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David Wulff wrote: I 'wanna' pizza Just curious, are 'wanna' or 'gonna' spoken by English speakers besides Americans? Regards, Alvaro Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
It depends where you go. No one likes to even think about the hideous malformations of the vocal chord movments they call "speech" up north, or in "common" London, but some places in the country like down here in Devon there is surprisingly little verbal abuse of the English language. You may find the odd "whatcha" or too, but I honestly can't remember ever hearing "wanna" or it's bastard offspring and siblings of the "wunna" and "wunneh" variety. :~
David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk
An orgy in Tiverton... ({) `/\^^/\:p (Z) :$/\^^/\` (})
