In Honor of Henry's new Career Direction.... the Lawyer Joke of the Day....
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Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
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Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
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Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
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Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
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It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
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It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
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It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
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It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
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It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
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If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
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Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
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It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”
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Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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Hey come on, Lawyers arn't that bad - its just that 99% of them give the rest a bad name. My wife's a lawyer, I hope she didnt read that or I could find a summons when I get home.
You could always tell she belongs to the remaining 1% of good not very bad lawyers.
There are some really weird people on this planet - MIM.
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Hey come on, Lawyers arn't that bad - its just that 99% of them give the rest a bad name. My wife's a lawyer, I hope she didnt read that or I could find a summons when I get home.
J4amieC wrote:
My wife's a lawyer, I hope she didnt read that or I could find a summons when I get home. Quote Selected Text
My cousin is a lawyer too. I have discovered that lawyers tell the BEST lawyer jokes in the world. :) I apologize if your wife takes offense. Post any better ones she knows though.... :-D
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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-
Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
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That's so old the first copy of it I saw looked like it was a photocopy of a fax of a fax of a photocopy of a photocopy of a fax of a photocopy. :laugh:
3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18
It's older than me! and THAT is saying something!
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
-
Rules for hunting lawyers (Please check local states for other requirements... For instance I hear Texas allows #3 providing the hood of your vehicle has cow horns properly installed) Washington state attorney season and bag limits
1300.01 GENERAL
-
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
-
Taking of attorneys with traps or dead-falls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
-
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
-
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
-
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
-
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
-
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
-
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
-
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
-
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
BAG LIMITS
- Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
- Two-faced Tort Feasor 3
- Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 5
- Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
- Honest Attorney EXTINCT
- Cut-throat 2
- Back-stabbing Whiner 2
- Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
- Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 bounty
_________________________ John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." Shhhhh.... I am not really here. I am a figment of your imagination.... I am still in my cave so this must be an illusion....
q. What's brown and red and looks good on a lawyer? z. A doberman. q. What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff? a. A good start. q. What do you call an 1/2 full bus of lawyers going over a cliff? a. Wasted opportunity. q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? a. Cut the rope. :) i could go on. Having had to deal with just *one* lawyer who was supposed to be on my side (hell, I was paying him after all), I was cured.
Charlie Gilley You're going to tell me what I want to know, or I'm going to beat you to death in your own house. "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
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q. What's brown and red and looks good on a lawyer? z. A doberman. q. What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff? a. A good start. q. What do you call an 1/2 full bus of lawyers going over a cliff? a. Wasted opportunity. q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? a. Cut the rope. :) i could go on. Having had to deal with just *one* lawyer who was supposed to be on my side (hell, I was paying him after all), I was cured.
Charlie Gilley You're going to tell me what I want to know, or I'm going to beat you to death in your own house. "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783