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J-O-T-D [moved]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
sysadminlounge
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog". Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up". Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!" Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person". Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave

    modified on

    L OriginalGriffO M realJSOPR 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • L Lost User

      Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog". Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up". Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!" Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person". Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave

      modified on

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      From where do you know my grandfather?

      A while ago he asked me what he should have printed on my business cards. I said 'Wizard'. I read books which nobody else understand. Then I do something which nobody understands. After that the computer does something which nobody understands. When asked, I say things about the results which nobody understand. But everybody expects miracles from me on a regular basis. Looks to me like the classical definition of a wizard.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • L Lost User

        Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog". Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up". Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!" Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person". Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave

        modified on

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        You forgot one: Post unfunny drivel in the lounge...

        Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        F 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • L Lost User

          Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog". Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up". Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!" Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person". Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave

          modified on

          M Offline
          M Offline
          Mark_Wallace
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          <Les Dawson> I haven't laughed so much since my grandma's funeral. </Les Dawson>

          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • L Lost User

            Here are some ways to really annoy people big time... Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its your property. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. Name your dog "Dog". Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up". Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!" Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. Practice making fax and modem noises. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid looking ignorant. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person". Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy." Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at passing traffic, and watch it slow down. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down and say "Fine you pay!" then leave

            modified on

            realJSOPR Offline
            realJSOPR Offline
            realJSOP
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Alright, you've had your fun. Stop being a fuckin' ass-hat.

            .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
            -----
            "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

            F 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

              You forgot one: Post unfunny drivel in the lounge...

              Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

              F Offline
              F Offline
              fjdiewornncalwe
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              OriginalGriff wrote:

              You forgot one: Post unfunny drivel in the lounge...

              Why did you have to beat me to that one... :((

              OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                Alright, you've had your fun. Stop being a fuckin' ass-hat.

                .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                -----
                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                -----
                "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

                F Offline
                F Offline
                fjdiewornncalwe
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I'll 2nd that motion.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • F fjdiewornncalwe

                  OriginalGriff wrote:

                  You forgot one: Post unfunny drivel in the lounge...

                  Why did you have to beat me to that one... :((

                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Sorry! You need a faster keyboard... :laugh:

                  Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.

                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                  "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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