MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE SOFTWARE [moved]
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
That's older than most of the users here.
.45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001 -
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
(\ `-../' `\ _..--..__|_) ) )`-. (_ | | / | `-..,, | ) | | ( ,' ) |,'\ ( ( ' ( ,' __..-' \ ) ) | ,\.__ `\ \ `. `. ) ,' ``--, `\ \ ) ) ( ,' / `\_ | ( ( | ( ,'"Y8a,_ __,,ad8b, ( `. `. | ,' _,' `""Y8a,_ __,,aad8P""'' _,8b ) ) ) | ,' _,d88b `""Y8a _,aad8P""'' ,d8888b ) ( ( ( ( ,d8888P"' __,,aadd8PP8 8"Y8b,_ `Y888888a,(,,,,),,),aabaaadgd8PP"'__,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ ``""YYYYY88888PPPP"""''__,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ __,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ __,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 "8P""'' _8 8 8 _,,aadd88 8b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888P 8888ba, 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y8888b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y8888ba, 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y88888b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' ""88888ba,8,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y888888888888PP""'' `"Y88PP""'' -
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
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(\ `-../' `\ _..--..__|_) ) )`-. (_ | | / | `-..,, | ) | | ( ,' ) |,'\ ( ( ' ( ,' __..-' \ ) ) | ,\.__ `\ \ `. `. ) ,' ``--, `\ \ ) ) ( ,' / `\_ | ( ( | ( ,'"Y8a,_ __,,ad8b, ( `. `. | ,' _,' `""Y8a,_ __,,aad8P""'' _,8b ) ) ) | ,' _,d88b `""Y8a _,aad8P""'' ,d8888b ) ( ( ( ( ,d8888P"' __,,aadd8PP8 8"Y8b,_ `Y888888a,(,,,,),,),aabaaadgd8PP"'__,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ ``""YYYYY88888PPPP"""''__,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ __,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,_ __,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 ""Y8a,,,aadd8PP""'' 8 8 "8P""'' _8 8 8 _,,aadd88 8b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888P 8888ba, 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y8888b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y8888ba, 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y88888b,_ 8 _,,aadd88888888PP""'' ""88888ba,8,,aadd88888888PP""'' `"Y888888888888PP""'' `"Y88PP""''Why would he need kleenex :-)??
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Why would he need kleenex :-)??
Wipe the shit from his mouth?
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
Well, your account lasted a long time...
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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Wipe the shit from his mouth?
That is a much more polite bodily emmission, and body part than I had in mind :-).......
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
Create a twatter account and go dump your f****ing shit over there.
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size. 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
modified on Thursday, October 14, 2010 8:36 AM
Wow, talk about your blasts from the past. The beauty of that little joke is that it tries to poke fun at Microsoft (actually software in general) by playing the the "reliability" of GM. How did that whole reliability thang work out for GM? I'm guessing they probably used a couple of pieces of Microsoft technology to put together the bankruptcy papers. They may have even used word and/or outlook when emailing their begging letters to DC. -Rd
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