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  4. Out of the mouth of babes

Out of the mouth of babes

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

    The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

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    • L Lost User

      I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

      The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Bassam Abdul Baki
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Mommy needs to be spanked.

      Web - BM - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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      • L Lost User

        I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

        The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

        H Offline
        H Offline
        Henry Minute
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        If Mummy was a little more accommodating Daddy wouldn't need to be .... what you said.

        Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”

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        • L Lost User

          I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

          The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Yeah, its funny indeed. Years back I taught my niece to say 'spin on this one motherfucker', in combination with the middle finger. She was about 3 or 4. She only used it once, when she was in the car with my sisters and they got cut up by another driver. Aparently she leant out the window at the other driver, raised her middle finger and said her piece! My sisters pissed themselves laughing. The remarkable thing is my niece knew exactly when to use it!

          "It is a remarkable fact that despite the worldwide expenditure of perhaps US$50 billion since 1990, and the efforts of tens of thousands of scientists worldwide, no human climate signal has yet been detected that is distinct from natural variation." Bob Carter, Research Professor of Geology, James Cook University, Townsville

          moved on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 8:16 AM

          S G 2 Replies Last reply
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          • L Lost User

            Yeah, its funny indeed. Years back I taught my niece to say 'spin on this one motherfucker', in combination with the middle finger. She was about 3 or 4. She only used it once, when she was in the car with my sisters and they got cut up by another driver. Aparently she leant out the window at the other driver, raised her middle finger and said her piece! My sisters pissed themselves laughing. The remarkable thing is my niece knew exactly when to use it!

            "It is a remarkable fact that despite the worldwide expenditure of perhaps US$50 billion since 1990, and the efforts of tens of thousands of scientists worldwide, no human climate signal has yet been detected that is distinct from natural variation." Bob Carter, Research Professor of Geology, James Cook University, Townsville

            moved on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 8:16 AM

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Slacker007
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            fat_boy wrote:

            'spin on this one motherfucker'

            Now if I posted that word it would have been censored. Story of my life... :-D

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            • L Lost User

              I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

              The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              That is brilliant. My daughter when only about two or perhaps three once said "the fucking phone" when our house phone started to ring. No idea why, my wife and I have never responded like that that we know of. Children swearing is very funny, especially when they get the context right but don't understand. A woman I know was cleaning out her hamster's cage a number of years ago with her young daughter 'helping', and was bitten by the beast. Shortly afterwards they went to see her mother and when the grandmother asked the granddaughter what the hamster was called she replied "fucking bastard". One that had me in absolute stitches with my daughter quite recently was when she had a small hand held fan took off her for some reason, she had a bit of a paddy and started shouting out "I want fanny" over and over again.

              Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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              • L Lost User

                Yeah, its funny indeed. Years back I taught my niece to say 'spin on this one motherfucker', in combination with the middle finger. She was about 3 or 4. She only used it once, when she was in the car with my sisters and they got cut up by another driver. Aparently she leant out the window at the other driver, raised her middle finger and said her piece! My sisters pissed themselves laughing. The remarkable thing is my niece knew exactly when to use it!

                "It is a remarkable fact that despite the worldwide expenditure of perhaps US$50 billion since 1990, and the efforts of tens of thousands of scientists worldwide, no human climate signal has yet been detected that is distinct from natural variation." Bob Carter, Research Professor of Geology, James Cook University, Townsville

                moved on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 8:16 AM

                G Offline
                G Offline
                GenJerDan
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                My first girlfriend had an Aunt with a sense of humor. Instead of her first words being Mama or Dada or something equally heart-filling, they were Son of a bitch :laugh:

                A 1 Reply Last reply
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                • L Lost User

                  I took my boy, who has just turned 4, to the hairdressers this weekend. When we got there though we found it had closed down. As we was walking back to the car, Caleb asked why we couldn't get our haircut there now. I said 'I didn't know it was closed down and I was a silly billy' to which he replied 'You're not a silly billy Daddy, you're a wanker!'. Hearing a child of this age pronounce a swear word so accurately is very amusing, so trying not to show him I found it funny I told him 'We musn't say that word as that is a naughty word.' He laughed at me and said 'No its not a naughty word, Mummy always says you're a wanker. She says 'Daddys a wanker because he made the bedroom messy....she says Daddy's a wanker because he didn't go to the shops...' So now my boy thinks wanker=daddy, a word soley created for me. :laugh:

                  The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  Dalek Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Surely not only for you. There are at least 11 others in Portsmouth who turn out every Saturday who represent that term quite accurately.

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

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                  • G GenJerDan

                    My first girlfriend had an Aunt with a sense of humor. Instead of her first words being Mama or Dada or something equally heart-filling, they were Son of a bitch :laugh:

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Andy Brummer
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    My aunt taught me sh*t as my first word.

                    Curvature of the Mind

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