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  3. An effortless joke... [modified]

An effortless joke... [modified]

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  • L Lost User

    musefan wrote:

    1. I am clearly a fan of an English born band

    It could be that you like to ponder.

    M Offline
    M Offline
    musefan
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    PompeyBoy3 wrote:

    It could be that you like to ponder.

    I should vote you down for such thought provoking humour ;P (just to clarify I will not, if you suddenly get a down vote - actually I better cover my back with a 5)

    Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • M Michael Schubert

      I hope you are aware that you can sue your pharmacist for screwing up your medication.

      Go and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

      M Offline
      M Offline
      musefan
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      but I specifically pay him to give me the non-subscribed versions

      Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

        I don' neeeeeed no stiiiinkin' outlaw to tell meeee what eeees funneeee, gringo! :laugh:

        Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Digital man: "You are, in short, an idiot with the IQ of an ant and the intellectual capacity of a hose pipe."

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        You do know that merely sounding like a Mexican (literaly) triggers some reflexes in Texans?

        "I have what could be described as the most wide-open sense of humor on the site, and if I don't think something is funny, then it really isn't." - JSOC, 2011 -----
        "Friar Modest never was a prior" - Italian proverb

        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • R Roger Allen

          How can they get out of your house as they are clearly outside it? This joke does not make semantic sense. ;P

          If you vote me down, my score will only get lower

          M Offline
          M Offline
          musefan
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          That reminds me of an Eddie Izzard routine

          Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • M musefan

            Johnny J. wrote:

            What's a spotted dick?

            pudding

            Johnny J. wrote:

            What I get after a saturday night on the town with DD

            perhaps a Kebab? I said I was English, not a stalker

            Johnny J. wrote:

            The nickname for the pitcher at the local cricket match

            I will go with Pint on this one, those usually pitchers are for cocktails IME (and I don't follow cricket, or baseball as I assume you where suggesting)

            Johnny J. wrote:

            Some disgusting sponge cake type of desert

            Surely you can't mean sticky-toffee or syrup sponge? it's just soooo nice with custard

            Johnny J. wrote:

            1. All of the above

            oh... now I see lol I will go with 3 then

            Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Johnny J
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            OK, old chap - you are indeed the spiffing image of a true English gentleman - I stand corrected... So is CDP1802 by the way... :-D

            I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
            -----
            Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
            -----
            Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
            -----
            Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

            L 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • M musefan

              ...for the "too busy to think" people. Knock knock Who’s there? Olivia. Olivia who? Olivia, so get out my house! ...this joke is meant to be funny because "Olivia" sounds like "I live here" as in "I live here, so get out my house!" now you may laugh :laugh:

              Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

              modified on Thursday, March 3, 2011 7:40 AM

              P Offline
              P Offline
              PIEBALDconsult
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              musefan wrote:

              "Olivia" sounds like "I live here"

              No it doesn't; it sounds like "all of ya".

              M 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P PIEBALDconsult

                musefan wrote:

                "Olivia" sounds like "I live here"

                No it doesn't; it sounds like "all of ya".

                M Offline
                M Offline
                musefan
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                depends on what accent you use

                Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • M musefan

                  ...for the "too busy to think" people. Knock knock Who’s there? Olivia. Olivia who? Olivia, so get out my house! ...this joke is meant to be funny because "Olivia" sounds like "I live here" as in "I live here, so get out my house!" now you may laugh :laugh:

                  Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                  modified on Thursday, March 3, 2011 7:40 AM

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  musefan wrote:

                  now you may laugh :laugh:

                  This was the funniest part of the whole message.

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    musefan wrote:

                    now you may laugh :laugh:

                    This was the funniest part of the whole message.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    musefan
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    I like to aim at multiple audiences

                    Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • J Johnny J

                      OK, old chap - you are indeed the spiffing image of a true English gentleman - I stand corrected... So is CDP1802 by the way... :-D

                      I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                      -----
                      Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                      -----
                      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                      -----
                      Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      Not really. I just have a particular dislike for the word 'dick'.

                      "I have what could be described as the most wide-open sense of humor on the site, and if I don't think something is funny, then it really isn't." - JSOC, 2011 -----
                      "Friar Modest never was a prior" - Italian proverb

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • M musefan

                        ok, I fixed it

                        Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriff
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #31

                        Better: But the joke is still as poor - my vote stands!

                        Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Digital man: "You are, in short, an idiot with the IQ of an ant and the intellectual capacity of a hose pipe."

                        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L Lost User

                          You do know that merely sounding like a Mexican (literaly) triggers some reflexes in Texans?

                          "I have what could be described as the most wide-open sense of humor on the site, and if I don't think something is funny, then it really isn't." - JSOC, 2011 -----
                          "Friar Modest never was a prior" - Italian proverb

                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #32

                          I'm far enough from Texas for it not to be a problem: he's busy building a submarine, anyway. :laugh:

                          Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Digital man: "You are, in short, an idiot with the IQ of an ant and the intellectual capacity of a hose pipe."

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • M musefan

                            ...for the "too busy to think" people. Knock knock Who’s there? Olivia. Olivia who? Olivia, so get out my house! ...this joke is meant to be funny because "Olivia" sounds like "I live here" as in "I live here, so get out my house!" now you may laugh :laugh:

                            Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                            modified on Thursday, March 3, 2011 7:40 AM

                            Mike HankeyM Offline
                            Mike HankeyM Offline
                            Mike Hankey
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #33

                            If you have to explain a joke it's not worth telling.

                            musefan wrote:

                            now you may laugh

                            NO

                            If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^] [My Site]

                            J M 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • J Johnny J

                              His profile says England, so your airforce ought to know the way already... ;P But somehow, I suspect that might not be true, though... (The Location = England part, that is)

                              I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                              -----
                              Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                              -----
                              Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                              -----
                              Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #34

                              Johnny J. wrote:

                              His profile says England

                              No, it says United Kingdom, which is not the same thing.

                              I must get a clever new signature for 2011.

                              J 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • J Johnny J

                                His profile says England, so your airforce ought to know the way already... ;P But somehow, I suspect that might not be true, though... (The Location = England part, that is)

                                I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                                -----
                                Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                                -----
                                Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                                -----
                                Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                Keith Barrow
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #35

                                Curiously, a lot of teh mistakes he makes in English are those of a Middle-Eastern Person, say from Lebanon for example.

                                Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                                -Or-
                                A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                                J M 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                                  If you have to explain a joke it's not worth telling.

                                  musefan wrote:

                                  now you may laugh

                                  NO

                                  If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^] [My Site]

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Johnny J
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #36

                                  Mike Hankey wrote:

                                  NO

                                  Sourpuss - grumpyface... ;P

                                  I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                                  -----
                                  Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                                  -----
                                  Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                                  -----
                                  Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                                  Mike HankeyM 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • J Johnny J

                                    musefan wrote:

                                    P.S My location is correct

                                    Really? If you're English then answer me this: What's a spotted dick? 1) What you get after a saturday night on the town with DD 2) The nickname for the pitcher at the local cricket match 3) Some disgusting sponge cake type of desert 4) All of the above

                                    I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                                    -----
                                    Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                                    -----
                                    Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                                    -----
                                    Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                                    modified on Thursday, March 3, 2011 7:48 AM

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #37

                                    He does not claim to be English, it just says his location is United Kingdom. I'm sure there are plenty of people here with locations that do not match their nationality.

                                    I must get a clever new signature for 2011.

                                    J M 2 Replies Last reply
                                    0
                                    • K Keith Barrow

                                      Curiously, a lot of teh mistakes he makes in English are those of a Middle-Eastern Person, say from Lebanon for example.

                                      Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                                      -Or-
                                      A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                                      J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Johnny J
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #38

                                      Indeed - but he DID know what a spotted dick was, so he MUST be English... :laugh:

                                      I'm not heavy - I'm KIDNAP RESISTANT...
                                      -----
                                      Don't tell my folks I'm a computer programmer - They think I'm a piano player in a cat house...
                                      -----
                                      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                                      -----
                                      Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers, September 7, 1924

                                      K 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • L Lost User

                                        Please tell me your geographic location while I call some guys at the airforce who still owe me something...

                                        "I have what could be described as the most wide-open sense of humor on the site, and if I don't think something is funny, then it really isn't." - JSOC, 2011 -----
                                        "Friar Modest never was a prior" - Italian proverb

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #39

                                        Well the joke did bomb.

                                        Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • M musefan

                                          Why would it not be true? 1. I am clearly a fan of an English born band 2. My previous post joke (which has apparently annoyed people) is based on a popular board game here in England 3. My location says "England"

                                          Don't vote my posts down just because you don't understand them - if you lack the superior intelligence that I possess then simply walk away

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #40

                                          musefan wrote:

                                          3. My location says "England"

                                          Total fail; your location says United Kingdom, so you obviously cannot be here if you think it is the same as England.

                                          I must get a clever new signature for 2011.

                                          K M 2 Replies Last reply
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