An Atheist in the Woods
-
An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees! 'What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground, rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.... At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament ? Am I to count you as a believer ?' The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian ?' 'Very well,' said the voice... The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: 'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.'
Ger
This is old as dirt, but I'm surprised to see it being received well. Good for you. :)
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
-
An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees! 'What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground, rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.... At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament ? Am I to count you as a believer ?' The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian ?' 'Very well,' said the voice... The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: 'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.'
Ger
.... with being disturbed by tree hugging hippie types every time we go into the woods for a crap!:mad: And you wonder why people get eaten! What's worse is that due to your limited comprehension of the situation, you attribute our behaviour to some mythical sky fairy. Sheeesh! Humans!
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
-
.... with being disturbed by tree hugging hippie types every time we go into the woods for a crap!:mad: And you wonder why people get eaten! What's worse is that due to your limited comprehension of the situation, you attribute our behaviour to some mythical sky fairy. Sheeesh! Humans!
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
-
Dalek Dave wrote:
A Hindu bear?
You called me?
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
:doh: You're shameless ;P :laugh:
Cheers, विक्रम (CCC count - 5.) "We have already been through this, I am not going to repeat myself." - fat_boy, in a global warming thread :doh:
-
An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees! 'What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground, rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.... At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament ? Am I to count you as a believer ?' The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian ?' 'Very well,' said the voice... The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: 'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful, Amen.'
Ger
Hi Ger, Divine intercession is no longer necessary: the person on the run from the bear would have whipped-out an iPad, or an Android tablet, and clicked on a short-cut they'd saved to this video[^Elvis 'Teddy Bear']. Yes, the whole forest has got wi-fi, now. best, Bill
"Many : not conversant with mathematical studies, imagine that because it [the Analytical Engine] is to give results in numerical notation, its processes must consequently be arithmetical, numerical, rather than algebraical and analytical. This is an error. The engine can arrange and combine numerical quantities as if they were letters or any other general symbols; and it fact it might bring out its results in algebraical notation, were provisions made accordingly." Ada, Countess Lovelace, 1844
-
You just used ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself because you're a LOSER! You are Al Gore and I claim my £5.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
-
You just used ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself because you're a LOSER! You are Al Gore and I claim my £5.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
-
:doh: You're shameless ;P :laugh:
Cheers, विक्रम (CCC count - 5.) "We have already been through this, I am not going to repeat myself." - fat_boy, in a global warming thread :doh:
Far too much resemblance to not answer his call: Common characteristics of modern bears include a large body with stocky legs - check shaggy hair - check thick hair covering the body - check and a short tail - umm no typically solitary animals - check they are generally diurnal, but may be active during the night - check despite their heavy build and awkward gait, they can run quickly and are adept climbers and swimmers - check :laugh:
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
-
I can barley refrain from giving the reply your message deserves. Especially given your inconsistency[^].
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
-
Hi Ger, Divine intercession is no longer necessary: the person on the run from the bear would have whipped-out an iPad, or an Android tablet, and clicked on a short-cut they'd saved to this video[^Elvis 'Teddy Bear']. Yes, the whole forest has got wi-fi, now. best, Bill
"Many : not conversant with mathematical studies, imagine that because it [the Analytical Engine] is to give results in numerical notation, its processes must consequently be arithmetical, numerical, rather than algebraical and analytical. This is an error. The engine can arrange and combine numerical quantities as if they were letters or any other general symbols; and it fact it might bring out its results in algebraical notation, were provisions made accordingly." Ada, Countess Lovelace, 1844
...there's an app for that! :)
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
