The Hen [modified]
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Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
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Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
:thumbsup: +5 for a funny joke, but... :thumbsdown: -2 for non-KSS language in the lounge :thumbsdown: -2 for ruining the joke with text-speak...
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels) -
:thumbsup: +5 for a funny joke, but... :thumbsdown: -2 for non-KSS language in the lounge :thumbsdown: -2 for ruining the joke with text-speak...
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels):laugh: true...
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Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
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:thumbsup: +5 for a funny joke, but... :thumbsdown: -2 for non-KSS language in the lounge :thumbsdown: -2 for ruining the joke with text-speak...
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)I don't know if the joke was funny or not. I completely lost interest when I came across the first textspeak word, and voted it a 1.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
I had to stop reading after a few lines, because this stupid textspeak makes my eyes water and my head spin. Now I feel sick, need to lay down and have a whisky, or five. X|
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
i vot 1 4 txtspk.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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I don't know if the joke was funny or not. I completely lost interest when I came across the first textspeak word, and voted it a 1.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997same here.
Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
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i vot 1 4 txtspk.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
anoda 1 vot!
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.
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I had to stop reading after a few lines, because this stupid textspeak makes my eyes water and my head spin. Now I feel sick, need to lay down and have a whisky, or five. X|
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
Smithers-Jones wrote:
have a whisky, or five.
Then you'll start thinking in txt-speak.
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.
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anoda 1 vot!
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.
-
Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
O my brain, yours.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Kenny came bak home around 2am, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abt 2 hrs later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man..."Who d hell are you and wat are you doin in my room!" Shouted Kenny."I am Saint Peter and you are not in ur room. you are in heaven". "You mean am dead?" Said Kenny, "pls am not ready 2 die, I've 1 or 2 things 2 do b4 I die :(."Alrite son, you will return bak 2 Earth but as a hen" said the old man. "Yes I agree!" Said Kenny... So kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up 2 him and said "so you are the new hen?" "Yes" said Kenny...suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside him..."I think am constipating". "No you re ovulating" said d hen "is dis ur 1st time?"...."Yes" said Kenny.... So Kenny braced himself and heaved and out popped an egg! He made anoda effort and anoda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and 4 d 1st time in his life he experienced motherhood! "Dis is d sweetest feeling ever!" He thought.. Just as he was abt 2 lay a 3rd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap into his fat face and heard his wife shouting "Kenny! Wake up u drunken bastard! U are sh**ting on our bed!"
modified on Monday, August 29, 2011 2:28 PM
Kenny came back home around two AM, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abduct two hydras later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man ... "Who the hell are you and wart are you doing in my room?!" shouted Kenny. "I am Saint Peter, and you are not in understander room. You are in Heaven." "You mean I'm dead?" asked Kenny. "Phalanges, I am not ready two die, I've won or too things two do bee-four I die!" "All right, son - you will return baulk two Earth ... but as a hen," said the old man. "Yes, I agree!" said Kenny. So Kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up two him and said, "So, you are the new hen?" "Yes," said Kenny. Suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside of him. "I think I am constipating." "No, you're ovulating," said dee hen. "Is druids ureter onest time?" "Yes," said Kenny. So Kenny braced himself, heaved and out popped an egg! He made anode effort and anaconda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and four dee onest time in his life he experienced motherhood! Dermis is dee sweetest feeling ever! he thought. Just as he was ambient two lay a threerd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap on his fat face and heard his wife shout, "Kenny! Wake up ewe drunken bastard! Uranium are shitting on our bed!"
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Kenny came back home around two AM, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abduct two hydras later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man ... "Who the hell are you and wart are you doing in my room?!" shouted Kenny. "I am Saint Peter, and you are not in understander room. You are in Heaven." "You mean I'm dead?" asked Kenny. "Phalanges, I am not ready two die, I've won or too things two do bee-four I die!" "All right, son - you will return baulk two Earth ... but as a hen," said the old man. "Yes, I agree!" said Kenny. So Kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up two him and said, "So, you are the new hen?" "Yes," said Kenny. Suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside of him. "I think I am constipating." "No, you're ovulating," said dee hen. "Is druids ureter onest time?" "Yes," said Kenny. So Kenny braced himself, heaved and out popped an egg! He made anode effort and anaconda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and four dee onest time in his life he experienced motherhood! Dermis is dee sweetest feeling ever! he thought. Just as he was ambient two lay a threerd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap on his fat face and heard his wife shout, "Kenny! Wake up ewe drunken bastard! Uranium are shitting on our bed!"
Poor hydras, what did you do to them? :laugh: Nice effort :thumbsup:
'As programmers go, I'm fairly social. Which still means I'm a borderline sociopath by normal standards.' Jeff Atwood
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Poor hydras, what did you do to them? :laugh: Nice effort :thumbsup:
'As programmers go, I'm fairly social. Which still means I'm a borderline sociopath by normal standards.' Jeff Atwood
I confess, it took a certain amount of guesswork for a few of those contractions, but I'm pretty sure it's right. Hmm. Downvoted. Interesting.
modified on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 5:33 AM
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Kenny came back home around two AM, drunk as usual. He fell into bed beside his sleeping wife. Abduct two hydras later he woke up and saw himself in a strange place with an old man ... "Who the hell are you and wart are you doing in my room?!" shouted Kenny. "I am Saint Peter, and you are not in understander room. You are in Heaven." "You mean I'm dead?" asked Kenny. "Phalanges, I am not ready two die, I've won or too things two do bee-four I die!" "All right, son - you will return baulk two Earth ... but as a hen," said the old man. "Yes, I agree!" said Kenny. So Kenny came back as a hen in a local farm. A hen walked up two him and said, "So, you are the new hen?" "Yes," said Kenny. Suddenly he felt an uncomfortable feeling inside of him. "I think I am constipating." "No, you're ovulating," said dee hen. "Is druids ureter onest time?" "Yes," said Kenny. So Kenny braced himself, heaved and out popped an egg! He made anode effort and anaconda egg popped out! Suddenly he was overrun by emotions and four dee onest time in his life he experienced motherhood! Dermis is dee sweetest feeling ever! he thought. Just as he was ambient two lay a threerd egg he felt a sharp, stinging slap on his fat face and heard his wife shout, "Kenny! Wake up ewe drunken bastard! Uranium are shitting on our bed!"
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I confess, it took a certain amount of guesswork for a few of those contractions, but I'm pretty sure it's right. Hmm. Downvoted. Interesting.
modified on Wednesday, August 31, 2011 5:33 AM
Upvoted to counter a bit. Maybe some people here do *like* txtspk... :doh:
'As programmers go, I'm fairly social. Which still means I'm a borderline sociopath by normal standards.' Jeff Atwood
