Dead Baby Jokes
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For bosedk: \o/[^] What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades. What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later. What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids. What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support. How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What's small, and shiny, and blue? A dead baby with a plastic baggy over its head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven. Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
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For bosedk: \o/[^] What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades. What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later. What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids. What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support. How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What's small, and shiny, and blue? A dead baby with a plastic baggy over its head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven. Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
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For bosedk: \o/[^] What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades. What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later. What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids. What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support. How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What's small, and shiny, and blue? A dead baby with a plastic baggy over its head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven. Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
I have a different version for the first one: What is red and pink and screaming that sits in a corner and gets smaller and smaller? Little Johnny combing himself with a cheese slicer.
Light moves faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak. List of common misconceptions
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I have a different version for the first one: What is red and pink and screaming that sits in a corner and gets smaller and smaller? Little Johnny combing himself with a cheese slicer.
Light moves faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak. List of common misconceptions
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For bosedk: \o/[^] What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades. What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later. What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids. What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support. How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What's small, and shiny, and blue? A dead baby with a plastic baggy over its head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven. Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
How do you make a dead baby float? A frosty glass of root beer, and two scoops of dead baby.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
How do you make a dead baby float? A frosty glass of root beer, and two scoops of dead baby.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997I thought you would make a zombie comment about the soft spot.
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For bosedk: \o/[^] What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades. What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later. What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids. What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support. How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What's small, and shiny, and blue? A dead baby with a plastic baggy over its head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven. Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
How do you rip the heart out of a parent? That's easy, you walk into your childs room on one particular morning and look at your baby. You wait for a minute because just this one time, baby isn't crying. Baby's just lying there, all quiet and still and you know that something is wrong. That scream that comes out of your throat - that's your body reacting quicker than your brain. You know there's an emergency number, but you can't remember it. The phone in your hand weighs about 1000 pounds. Time passes and people start to turn up. You don't know who they are, but you don't care. Your throat aches and you don't know whether it's from the screaming or the vomiting. That's how you rip the heart out of a parent.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
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How do you rip the heart out of a parent? That's easy, you walk into your childs room on one particular morning and look at your baby. You wait for a minute because just this one time, baby isn't crying. Baby's just lying there, all quiet and still and you know that something is wrong. That scream that comes out of your throat - that's your body reacting quicker than your brain. You know there's an emergency number, but you can't remember it. The phone in your hand weighs about 1000 pounds. Time passes and people start to turn up. You don't know who they are, but you don't care. Your throat aches and you don't know whether it's from the screaming or the vomiting. That's how you rip the heart out of a parent.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
:((
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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How do you rip the heart out of a parent? That's easy, you walk into your childs room on one particular morning and look at your baby. You wait for a minute because just this one time, baby isn't crying. Baby's just lying there, all quiet and still and you know that something is wrong. That scream that comes out of your throat - that's your body reacting quicker than your brain. You know there's an emergency number, but you can't remember it. The phone in your hand weighs about 1000 pounds. Time passes and people start to turn up. You don't know who they are, but you don't care. Your throat aches and you don't know whether it's from the screaming or the vomiting. That's how you rip the heart out of a parent.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
And then the baby farts, rolls over and gurgles at you - heart fits right back in there and you feel like an idiot. Where the frig did the dead baby theme come from, bunch of morbid bastards!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
