So I was out drinking with a buddy...
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And after a few he says to me, ya know no matter what I do it seems I am screwed. After I am out with you I get dropped of by the taxi a block away from home, I walk the rest of the way and then take my shoes of outside. I quietly unlock the door and go inside. Then I ever so carefully slip into bed. But every time my wife wakes up and says "Why are you so late!?!?" So I says to him, no no. Your approach is all wrong. See when I go home I tell me taxi it is wayyy up there and then say wait no right here. He then screeches to a hault. I then go inside by flinging the door wide open and go grab a snack from the kitchen (usually involving some pots and pans). Sometimes I am not that hungry and just do the upboard search for something I know is not there. I then enter the bedroom and let out a nice rip or belch (depends on what I ate and drank ;)) Afterwards I jump into bed and rub my hands on my wifes ass and say to her "So how 'bout a Blow Job?". With out failure every time she pretends she is sleeping :D
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
Old but Gold. :-D
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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And after a few he says to me, ya know no matter what I do it seems I am screwed. After I am out with you I get dropped of by the taxi a block away from home, I walk the rest of the way and then take my shoes of outside. I quietly unlock the door and go inside. Then I ever so carefully slip into bed. But every time my wife wakes up and says "Why are you so late!?!?" So I says to him, no no. Your approach is all wrong. See when I go home I tell me taxi it is wayyy up there and then say wait no right here. He then screeches to a hault. I then go inside by flinging the door wide open and go grab a snack from the kitchen (usually involving some pots and pans). Sometimes I am not that hungry and just do the upboard search for something I know is not there. I then enter the bedroom and let out a nice rip or belch (depends on what I ate and drank ;)) Afterwards I jump into bed and rub my hands on my wifes ass and say to her "So how 'bout a Blow Job?". With out failure every time she pretends she is sleeping :D
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
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And after a few he says to me, ya know no matter what I do it seems I am screwed. After I am out with you I get dropped of by the taxi a block away from home, I walk the rest of the way and then take my shoes of outside. I quietly unlock the door and go inside. Then I ever so carefully slip into bed. But every time my wife wakes up and says "Why are you so late!?!?" So I says to him, no no. Your approach is all wrong. See when I go home I tell me taxi it is wayyy up there and then say wait no right here. He then screeches to a hault. I then go inside by flinging the door wide open and go grab a snack from the kitchen (usually involving some pots and pans). Sometimes I am not that hungry and just do the upboard search for something I know is not there. I then enter the bedroom and let out a nice rip or belch (depends on what I ate and drank ;)) Afterwards I jump into bed and rub my hands on my wifes ass and say to her "So how 'bout a Blow Job?". With out failure every time she pretends she is sleeping :D
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
Now that's a plan got my 5
Sects Therapy
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And after a few he says to me, ya know no matter what I do it seems I am screwed. After I am out with you I get dropped of by the taxi a block away from home, I walk the rest of the way and then take my shoes of outside. I quietly unlock the door and go inside. Then I ever so carefully slip into bed. But every time my wife wakes up and says "Why are you so late!?!?" So I says to him, no no. Your approach is all wrong. See when I go home I tell me taxi it is wayyy up there and then say wait no right here. He then screeches to a hault. I then go inside by flinging the door wide open and go grab a snack from the kitchen (usually involving some pots and pans). Sometimes I am not that hungry and just do the upboard search for something I know is not there. I then enter the bedroom and let out a nice rip or belch (depends on what I ate and drank ;)) Afterwards I jump into bed and rub my hands on my wifes ass and say to her "So how 'bout a Blow Job?". With out failure every time she pretends she is sleeping :D
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
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Collin Jasnoch wrote:
"Why are you so late!?!?"
I say, "I'll come back at any fucking time I like!" :)
============================== Nothing to say.
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The main advantage of living on your own is that you usually don't have to justify yourself for anything.
And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"And I smiled and was happy
And it came worse.The main disadvantage of living on your own is that you're on your own.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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The main disadvantage of living on your own is that you're on your own.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Making being on your own also a lot easier since you don't have to weigh your options that carefully.
And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"And I smiled and was happy
And it came worse.I know Christmas on your own really rocks. And there's nothing like having nobody around to wish you happy birthday to make your day. I can't think of anything worse than living alone - which I did for over ten years before getting married - and having nobody to share your life with. I am happy to give up easier choices - lets face it, that means going to the pub again - for being in a happy family environment. I have to spend a lot of time away from mine and I miss them terribly, so when I'm home it is the best feeling there is.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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I know Christmas on your own really rocks. And there's nothing like having nobody around to wish you happy birthday to make your day. I can't think of anything worse than living alone - which I did for over ten years before getting married - and having nobody to share your life with. I am happy to give up easier choices - lets face it, that means going to the pub again - for being in a happy family environment. I have to spend a lot of time away from mine and I miss them terribly, so when I'm home it is the best feeling there is.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
Alan Partridge talks about the benefits of Christmas on your own in his autobiography. They include having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning and not having to re-knot your dressing gown should it flap open revealing your goolies.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Alan Partridge talks about the benefits of Christmas on your own in his autobiography. They include having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning and not having to re-knot your dressing gown should it flap open revealing your goolies.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning
So, if you live alone you only get beer - not decent Champagne - and you have to wait until after breakfast before you can start? I don't call that an advantage. Being able to walk around with me nadgers hanging out is an activity I am now not allowed to get away with. :sigh:
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Alan Partridge talks about the benefits of Christmas on your own in his autobiography. They include having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning and not having to re-knot your dressing gown should it flap open revealing your goolies.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
They include having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning
10 o'Clock!?!? Jeez, I usually got a good egg nog buzz on by then ;P
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
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ChrisElston wrote:
They include having a beer at 10 o'clock in the morning
10 o'Clock!?!? Jeez, I usually got a good egg nog buzz on by then ;P
Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.
Well, quite. It may make more sense if you know who Alan Partridge[^] is, I have no idea of his popularity outside of the UK, but I imagine he doesn't work particularly well elsewhere.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Or he will soon.
