Hearing Problem
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A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" "James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
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A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" "James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
Old, but still funny. Reminds me of the couple with nine kids. She was a bit deaf, so each night in bed he would whisper "Do you want to go straight to sleep or what?" She would turn and reply, "What?"
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" "James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
raghu.g wrote:
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
Wow, given the fact that this joke has been posted here at least 10 times, she already told him about 50 times, what they will have for dinner. :) And again and again it's rice. Poor guy. :(
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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raghu.g wrote:
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
Wow, given the fact that this joke has been posted here at least 10 times, she already told him about 50 times, what they will have for dinner. :) And again and again it's rice. Poor guy. :(
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
Grass is the normal food stuff for humans. So why not rice? I am having a chicken risotto tonight as it happens. I roasted a chicken last night, so using it up tonight. My Recipe... Finely chop an onion, and start to fry in a little butter. Add two cloves of garlic, crushed. Chop and add mushrooms. Add the (previously cooked and shredded) chicken. Add the juices of the chicken (Saved from the roasting). Simmer. Add peas and chopped mixed peppers add rice (as much as you need) and water. Add a chicken stock cube Simmer until rice is cooked. Serve. Very filling and delicious.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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Grass is the normal food stuff for humans. So why not rice? I am having a chicken risotto tonight as it happens. I roasted a chicken last night, so using it up tonight. My Recipe... Finely chop an onion, and start to fry in a little butter. Add two cloves of garlic, crushed. Chop and add mushrooms. Add the (previously cooked and shredded) chicken. Add the juices of the chicken (Saved from the roasting). Simmer. Add peas and chopped mixed peppers add rice (as much as you need) and water. Add a chicken stock cube Simmer until rice is cooked. Serve. Very filling and delicious.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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Grass is the normal food stuff for humans. So why not rice? I am having a chicken risotto tonight as it happens. I roasted a chicken last night, so using it up tonight. My Recipe... Finely chop an onion, and start to fry in a little butter. Add two cloves of garlic, crushed. Chop and add mushrooms. Add the (previously cooked and shredded) chicken. Add the juices of the chicken (Saved from the roasting). Simmer. Add peas and chopped mixed peppers add rice (as much as you need) and water. Add a chicken stock cube Simmer until rice is cooked. Serve. Very filling and delicious.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Grass is the normal food stuff for humans cows.
FTFY. :)
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
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A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" "James, for the FIFTH time I've said, RICE!"
It is hard to admit, but I don't get it at all. Not sure if it is lost in translation, but I fail to find what is funny there. I am not saying it is not funny, can fun be explained?
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It is hard to admit, but I don't get it at all. Not sure if it is lost in translation, but I fail to find what is funny there. I am not saying it is not funny, can fun be explained?
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It is hard to admit, but I don't get it at all. Not sure if it is lost in translation, but I fail to find what is funny there. I am not saying it is not funny, can fun be explained?
I'm with you. I'm sitting here trying to imagine my wife calmly answering the same question 5 times. It's just not plausible.
Pete
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Grass is the normal food stuff for humans. So why not rice? I am having a chicken risotto tonight as it happens. I roasted a chicken last night, so using it up tonight. My Recipe... Finely chop an onion, and start to fry in a little butter. Add two cloves of garlic, crushed. Chop and add mushrooms. Add the (previously cooked and shredded) chicken. Add the juices of the chicken (Saved from the roasting). Simmer. Add peas and chopped mixed peppers add rice (as much as you need) and water. Add a chicken stock cube Simmer until rice is cooked. Serve. Very filling and delicious.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
That may be nice, but it ain't real Risotto. In fact, it reminds me of my mother's Risotto's. I used to like them until I tried the real thing. The key is in the rice (Arborio ideally), which has a husk that breaks down while cooking - resulting in a creamy rice with as much in common with short-grain rice (i.e. pudding rice) as normal long-grain rice. Then, fry the rice with onions and garlic, lightly until it goes translucent. Then add the stock, a couple of ladles at a time, stirring continuously so each is mostly absorbed before adding the next. After about 5 minutes of this, add the rest of the ingredients. Thereafter, keep adding the liquid a bit at a time and stirring for about 15 minutes. Then keep tasting to see if the rice is soft, but with some bite. Finally, remove from heat and add butter and parmesan, and leave to stand in a covered pan for about 2 minutes. Grated paremesan on top to finish. The same technique applies to most risotto's. There's a world of variation of ingredients that can be added after the rice is going. My favourites are porcini mushrooms and, in season, asparagus. Optionally, you can add alcohol to the rice before starting to add the stock - choose according to other ingredients. White wine and vermouth work well. Let it all get absorbed before beginning to add the stock.
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I'm with you. I'm sitting here trying to imagine my wife calmly answering the same question 5 times. It's just not plausible.
Pete
I believe I got it now. Peter, I find your joke better than the original one.