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RJOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • N Nagy Vilmos

    Father Francis is a man of God. As a man of God, he takes great joy in all God's creations. So he found himself walking down by the river as he considered his sermon for Sunday's Mass. As he was walking along he nearly trod on a frog but stopped just in time. The frog looked up at him and to his surprise spoke! "Oh Father!" said the little frog. "Please help me, I have been cast under a spell by an evil hag. She caught me down by the river skiving off school so she turned me into a frog as a punishment. I know what I did was wrong Father and now I know I'll never see my Mummy and Daddy again. Please, please help me." Father Francis could not allow himself to desert this poor creature. As Jesus has taught us, he knew his duty as a man of God and a good Samaritan. So Father Francis took that little frog back to the Vicarage and laid the poor thing on his bed. Then he knelt down to pray. For four hours Father Francis prayed, nothing could stop him. Eventually his unwavering faith was rewarded and there, lying in Father Francis's bed, was the little eight year old boy finally freed from his ordeal. And that M'Lud concludes the evidence for the defence.


    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Touching. How can the intentions of such a man be misunderstood? The only thing that gives me a lot to think about is that Father Francis and many of his brothers apparently work in shifts to do their miracles without ever losing a word about them.

    I'm invincible, I can't be vinced

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    • N Nagy Vilmos

      Father Francis is a man of God. As a man of God, he takes great joy in all God's creations. So he found himself walking down by the river as he considered his sermon for Sunday's Mass. As he was walking along he nearly trod on a frog but stopped just in time. The frog looked up at him and to his surprise spoke! "Oh Father!" said the little frog. "Please help me, I have been cast under a spell by an evil hag. She caught me down by the river skiving off school so she turned me into a frog as a punishment. I know what I did was wrong Father and now I know I'll never see my Mummy and Daddy again. Please, please help me." Father Francis could not allow himself to desert this poor creature. As Jesus has taught us, he knew his duty as a man of God and a good Samaritan. So Father Francis took that little frog back to the Vicarage and laid the poor thing on his bed. Then he knelt down to pray. For four hours Father Francis prayed, nothing could stop him. Eventually his unwavering faith was rewarded and there, lying in Father Francis's bed, was the little eight year old boy finally freed from his ordeal. And that M'Lud concludes the evidence for the defence.


      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      I do feel obliged to report this as an abusive post. It seems that we cannot tolerate humour at the expense of religious feeling. Sorry for the 160 point hit you are about to get for my single vote of abuse.

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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      • N Nagy Vilmos

        Father Francis is a man of God. As a man of God, he takes great joy in all God's creations. So he found himself walking down by the river as he considered his sermon for Sunday's Mass. As he was walking along he nearly trod on a frog but stopped just in time. The frog looked up at him and to his surprise spoke! "Oh Father!" said the little frog. "Please help me, I have been cast under a spell by an evil hag. She caught me down by the river skiving off school so she turned me into a frog as a punishment. I know what I did was wrong Father and now I know I'll never see my Mummy and Daddy again. Please, please help me." Father Francis could not allow himself to desert this poor creature. As Jesus has taught us, he knew his duty as a man of God and a good Samaritan. So Father Francis took that little frog back to the Vicarage and laid the poor thing on his bed. Then he knelt down to pray. For four hours Father Francis prayed, nothing could stop him. Eventually his unwavering faith was rewarded and there, lying in Father Francis's bed, was the little eight year old boy finally freed from his ordeal. And that M'Lud concludes the evidence for the defence.


        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

        K Offline
        K Offline
        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Now I see the need for a coffee gutter on my monitor :)

        Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
        -Or-
        A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

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        • N Nagy Vilmos

          Father Francis is a man of God. As a man of God, he takes great joy in all God's creations. So he found himself walking down by the river as he considered his sermon for Sunday's Mass. As he was walking along he nearly trod on a frog but stopped just in time. The frog looked up at him and to his surprise spoke! "Oh Father!" said the little frog. "Please help me, I have been cast under a spell by an evil hag. She caught me down by the river skiving off school so she turned me into a frog as a punishment. I know what I did was wrong Father and now I know I'll never see my Mummy and Daddy again. Please, please help me." Father Francis could not allow himself to desert this poor creature. As Jesus has taught us, he knew his duty as a man of God and a good Samaritan. So Father Francis took that little frog back to the Vicarage and laid the poor thing on his bed. Then he knelt down to pray. For four hours Father Francis prayed, nothing could stop him. Eventually his unwavering faith was rewarded and there, lying in Father Francis's bed, was the little eight year old boy finally freed from his ordeal. And that M'Lud concludes the evidence for the defence.


          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

          J Offline
          J Offline
          J4amieC
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          I like this joke, Ironically the first time I heard this was way before the whole Catholic church thing and it had nothing to do with a Catholic priest - it was a guy who found the frog while playing a round of golf. The punchline was better too: "And thats my story your honour, and im sticking to it".

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          • D Dalek Dave

            I do feel obliged to report this as an abusive post. It seems that we cannot tolerate humour at the expense of religious feeling. Sorry for the 160 point hit you are about to get for my single vote of abuse.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

            R Offline
            R Offline
            R Giskard Reventlov
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            You still don't get it, do you?

            "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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            • R R Giskard Reventlov

              You still don't get it, do you?

              "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              I see the sense of humour bypass operation was a complete success.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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              • D Dalek Dave

                I see the sense of humour bypass operation was a complete success.

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                R Offline
                R Offline
                R Giskard Reventlov
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                This isn't about me - it's about you not recognising that you got it wrong and best to leave it alone. You won't make your point by being an obnoxious ass.

                "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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                • R R Giskard Reventlov

                  This isn't about me - it's about you not recognising that you got it wrong and best to leave it alone. You won't make your point by being an obnoxious ass.

                  "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  Dalek Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  I have realised this and am trying to move on. I mentioned something elsewhere about crossing a line I didn't see. It got rather silly actually.

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                  • D Dalek Dave

                    I have realised this and am trying to move on. I mentioned something elsewhere about crossing a line I didn't see. It got rather silly actually.

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    R Giskard Reventlov
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    You crossed the Rubicon for no other reason than you are like most intelligent people: you can't let go of the strongly held belief that the very intelligence which makes you smart won't allow you to admit that you can still get stuff wrong! We all do it (or so Mrs M tells me) so don't beat yourself up over it - just admit it, move on and forget about it. [END_LECTURE] :)

                    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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                    • R R Giskard Reventlov

                      You crossed the Rubicon for no other reason than you are like most intelligent people: you can't let go of the strongly held belief that the very intelligence which makes you smart won't allow you to admit that you can still get stuff wrong! We all do it (or so Mrs M tells me) so don't beat yourself up over it - just admit it, move on and forget about it. [END_LECTURE] :)

                      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      Dalek Dave
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Lecture acknowledged

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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