Weekend jokes - A bunch
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
soapboxjoker wrote:
because it's not worthy to post these jokes in single..
:zzz: Not sure about posting as a group either...
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soapboxjoker wrote:
because it's not worthy to post these jokes in single..
:zzz: Not sure about posting as a group either...
:doh: My bad .... at least I saved your replies. Will come with better bunch.
S:love:apb:love:xj:love:ker Did you miss any of my previous jokes**???** No problem Click here
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
Looks like you need another break
Every new day is another chance to change your life.
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
hehehehe thats very funny. Nice!
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:doh: My bad .... at least I saved your replies. Will come with better bunch.
S:love:apb:love:xj:love:ker Did you miss any of my previous jokes**???** No problem Click here
soapboxjoker wrote:
Will come with better bunch.
Not very likely is it?
Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
All old. Don't try again later
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in. The first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A gay walks into a pub carrying a small bag and announces to the crowd, "If anyone can guess what's in my bag, I'm yours for the night." A big, burly man stands up, thinking he'll have a laugh and shouts, "OK, I guess you've got a 10-ton truck in there." The gay looks into his bag and smiles. "Well done, we have a winner."
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:
A man comes home one night to find a nasty big rat humping a cat. The next day, he finds it humping a dog. Amazed at the sight, he takes the rat indoors to show his wife. "Heh, Doris, you'll never believe what this rat…" but before he can finish, she interrupts him with a scream. "Get that bloody sex maniac out of here.
Me likes some of them jokes.
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