The lion and the donkey
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The lion king, the one and the only king in the animal’s kingdom. Who would question this? Well, the donkey has some issues with the current political situation so he goes to meet Him. “Look pal, enough is enough” – says the donkey – “why you are the king, and not let say…me?” “It’s a natural thing donkey” – the lion answers – “Just look at my flowing mane!” “I also have a nice mane, so I could be a king too!” - yells the donkey. “Yes donkey, you have a mane, but I also have a huge cock, check it out!” “Yeah, pretty impressive, but mine is the same size!” – They measure their hoses and find out they are absolutely equal. “Yes, but I can keep mine in action longer then you” – grows out the lion. “Don’t go there” – says the donkey – “my stamina is legendary!” “Why not to put this one on a test? Whoever wins gets the kingdom?” So they agree to elephant each other, and the one who can hold longer is the winner. They flip a coin and the first on the shooting range is the lion. The lion shoves the donkey between two rocks, then inserts its sting up to the bone and starts shaking the donkey like a mad men metal bars. Thirty minutes pass by with the lion increasing the frequency like a Wagner’s opera final crescendo. Finally on the 30th minute he comes. Now is the donkey’s turn. The donkey pushes it to the root and starts shagging the lion taking it’s time. Twenty minutes pass by and the lion starts worry, his whole kingdom is on the stake. “What the lioness is doing to make me come faster?” thinks the king. Oh yes, playfully biting my neck! So the lion starts gently biting the donkey neck. The donkey goes crazy and starts pushing harder. 25 minutes have passed but the donkey keeps going. The lion is desperate and again recollects the lioness tricks – scratching his bolls with her paw. He starts doing this and the donkey is about to lose its temper in euphoria bellowing end pushing harder. Now 28 minutes are on the clock and the lion feels scared for the first time in its life, then a happy thought emerges. He again remembers the lioness tricks and the night after their last anniversary and how she was shaking her ass in perfect circles during the sex to get him crazy. So the lion starts to shake his ass faster and faster. The donkey immediately goes berserk and finishes on the 29th minute! Then the donkey bends over and whispers in the lion’s ear: “You are not a king. You are God!”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
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The lion king, the one and the only king in the animal’s kingdom. Who would question this? Well, the donkey has some issues with the current political situation so he goes to meet Him. “Look pal, enough is enough” – says the donkey – “why you are the king, and not let say…me?” “It’s a natural thing donkey” – the lion answers – “Just look at my flowing mane!” “I also have a nice mane, so I could be a king too!” - yells the donkey. “Yes donkey, you have a mane, but I also have a huge cock, check it out!” “Yeah, pretty impressive, but mine is the same size!” – They measure their hoses and find out they are absolutely equal. “Yes, but I can keep mine in action longer then you” – grows out the lion. “Don’t go there” – says the donkey – “my stamina is legendary!” “Why not to put this one on a test? Whoever wins gets the kingdom?” So they agree to elephant each other, and the one who can hold longer is the winner. They flip a coin and the first on the shooting range is the lion. The lion shoves the donkey between two rocks, then inserts its sting up to the bone and starts shaking the donkey like a mad men metal bars. Thirty minutes pass by with the lion increasing the frequency like a Wagner’s opera final crescendo. Finally on the 30th minute he comes. Now is the donkey’s turn. The donkey pushes it to the root and starts shagging the lion taking it’s time. Twenty minutes pass by and the lion starts worry, his whole kingdom is on the stake. “What the lioness is doing to make me come faster?” thinks the king. Oh yes, playfully biting my neck! So the lion starts gently biting the donkey neck. The donkey goes crazy and starts pushing harder. 25 minutes have passed but the donkey keeps going. The lion is desperate and again recollects the lioness tricks – scratching his bolls with her paw. He starts doing this and the donkey is about to lose its temper in euphoria bellowing end pushing harder. Now 28 minutes are on the clock and the lion feels scared for the first time in its life, then a happy thought emerges. He again remembers the lioness tricks and the night after their last anniversary and how she was shaking her ass in perfect circles during the sex to get him crazy. So the lion starts to shake his ass faster and faster. The donkey immediately goes berserk and finishes on the 29th minute! Then the donkey bends over and whispers in the lion’s ear: “You are not a king. You are God!”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
:~ I am being merciful. The unsure is about if it was worse for me spending time reading it or you spending time translating. Was it funny in the original language?
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:~ I am being merciful. The unsure is about if it was worse for me spending time reading it or you spending time translating. Was it funny in the original language?
It was actually; or at least it was for me. I’m removing the “be merciful” part, because the one-votes could be healthy in some occasions, especially when I’m not sure myself if the joke fits here.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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The lion king, the one and the only king in the animal’s kingdom. Who would question this? Well, the donkey has some issues with the current political situation so he goes to meet Him. “Look pal, enough is enough” – says the donkey – “why you are the king, and not let say…me?” “It’s a natural thing donkey” – the lion answers – “Just look at my flowing mane!” “I also have a nice mane, so I could be a king too!” - yells the donkey. “Yes donkey, you have a mane, but I also have a huge cock, check it out!” “Yeah, pretty impressive, but mine is the same size!” – They measure their hoses and find out they are absolutely equal. “Yes, but I can keep mine in action longer then you” – grows out the lion. “Don’t go there” – says the donkey – “my stamina is legendary!” “Why not to put this one on a test? Whoever wins gets the kingdom?” So they agree to elephant each other, and the one who can hold longer is the winner. They flip a coin and the first on the shooting range is the lion. The lion shoves the donkey between two rocks, then inserts its sting up to the bone and starts shaking the donkey like a mad men metal bars. Thirty minutes pass by with the lion increasing the frequency like a Wagner’s opera final crescendo. Finally on the 30th minute he comes. Now is the donkey’s turn. The donkey pushes it to the root and starts shagging the lion taking it’s time. Twenty minutes pass by and the lion starts worry, his whole kingdom is on the stake. “What the lioness is doing to make me come faster?” thinks the king. Oh yes, playfully biting my neck! So the lion starts gently biting the donkey neck. The donkey goes crazy and starts pushing harder. 25 minutes have passed but the donkey keeps going. The lion is desperate and again recollects the lioness tricks – scratching his bolls with her paw. He starts doing this and the donkey is about to lose its temper in euphoria bellowing end pushing harder. Now 28 minutes are on the clock and the lion feels scared for the first time in its life, then a happy thought emerges. He again remembers the lioness tricks and the night after their last anniversary and how she was shaking her ass in perfect circles during the sex to get him crazy. So the lion starts to shake his ass faster and faster. The donkey immediately goes berserk and finishes on the 29th minute! Then the donkey bends over and whispers in the lion’s ear: “You are not a king. You are God!”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Perhaps not hilarious, but IMHO it doesn't deserve the 1 votes
Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile
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It was actually; or at least it was for me. I’m removing the “be merciful” part, because the one-votes could be healthy in some occasions, especially when I’m not sure myself if the joke fits here.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
I did not downvote, I found it bad but not extremely bad to deserve a 1. For jokes in the soapbox I either 5 or ignore except in extreme cases. I interpreted your be merciful as a call for comment.
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The lion king, the one and the only king in the animal’s kingdom. Who would question this? Well, the donkey has some issues with the current political situation so he goes to meet Him. “Look pal, enough is enough” – says the donkey – “why you are the king, and not let say…me?” “It’s a natural thing donkey” – the lion answers – “Just look at my flowing mane!” “I also have a nice mane, so I could be a king too!” - yells the donkey. “Yes donkey, you have a mane, but I also have a huge cock, check it out!” “Yeah, pretty impressive, but mine is the same size!” – They measure their hoses and find out they are absolutely equal. “Yes, but I can keep mine in action longer then you” – grows out the lion. “Don’t go there” – says the donkey – “my stamina is legendary!” “Why not to put this one on a test? Whoever wins gets the kingdom?” So they agree to elephant each other, and the one who can hold longer is the winner. They flip a coin and the first on the shooting range is the lion. The lion shoves the donkey between two rocks, then inserts its sting up to the bone and starts shaking the donkey like a mad men metal bars. Thirty minutes pass by with the lion increasing the frequency like a Wagner’s opera final crescendo. Finally on the 30th minute he comes. Now is the donkey’s turn. The donkey pushes it to the root and starts shagging the lion taking it’s time. Twenty minutes pass by and the lion starts worry, his whole kingdom is on the stake. “What the lioness is doing to make me come faster?” thinks the king. Oh yes, playfully biting my neck! So the lion starts gently biting the donkey neck. The donkey goes crazy and starts pushing harder. 25 minutes have passed but the donkey keeps going. The lion is desperate and again recollects the lioness tricks – scratching his bolls with her paw. He starts doing this and the donkey is about to lose its temper in euphoria bellowing end pushing harder. Now 28 minutes are on the clock and the lion feels scared for the first time in its life, then a happy thought emerges. He again remembers the lioness tricks and the night after their last anniversary and how she was shaking her ass in perfect circles during the sex to get him crazy. So the lion starts to shake his ass faster and faster. The donkey immediately goes berserk and finishes on the 29th minute! Then the donkey bends over and whispers in the lion’s ear: “You are not a king. You are God!”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Adult version of Lion King game/story/cartoon ;)
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I did not downvote, I found it bad but not extremely bad to deserve a 1. For jokes in the soapbox I either 5 or ignore except in extreme cases. I interpreted your be merciful as a call for comment.
RC_Sebastien_C wrote:
I did not downvote
I know.
RC_Sebastien_C wrote:
For jokes in the soapbox I either 5 or ignore except in extreme cases.
Same here.
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.