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  4. Plastic surgeon

Plastic surgeon

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • E Offline
    E Offline
    Espen Harlinn
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years." The old lady says "Well tell me about them." The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for." She responds, "Forget that one, what about the next one." He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guaranteed for 3 years." The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one." The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw." The lady is delighted and has the surgery. About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset. "Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible. Look at these bags under my eyes!" The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady you aren't getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your tits and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a mustache."

    Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

    C L 2 Replies Last reply
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    • E Espen Harlinn

      An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years." The old lady says "Well tell me about them." The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for." She responds, "Forget that one, what about the next one." He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guaranteed for 3 years." The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one." The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw." The lady is delighted and has the surgery. About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset. "Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible. Look at these bags under my eyes!" The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady you aren't getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your tits and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a mustache."

      Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Maunder
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Moved to the Soapbox.

      cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP

      E 1 Reply Last reply
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      • C Chris Maunder

        Moved to the Soapbox.

        cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP

        E Offline
        E Offline
        Espen Harlinn
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Chris Maunder wrote:

        Moved to the Soapbox.

        I guess I should have posted it here in the first place ...

        Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • E Espen Harlinn

          An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years." The old lady says "Well tell me about them." The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for." She responds, "Forget that one, what about the next one." He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guaranteed for 3 years." The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one." The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw." The lady is delighted and has the surgery. About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset. "Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible. Look at these bags under my eyes!" The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady you aren't getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your tits and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a mustache."

          Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

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          L Offline
          loctrice
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          This is a repost

          If it moves, compile it

          E 1 Reply Last reply
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          • L loctrice

            This is a repost

            If it moves, compile it

            E Offline
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            Espen Harlinn
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            loctrice wrote:

            This is a repost

            I posted this in the lounge, later it was moved here ...

            Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • E Espen Harlinn

              loctrice wrote:

              This is a repost

              I posted this in the lounge, later it was moved here ...

              Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

              L Offline
              L Offline
              loctrice
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I understand that. I have read this joke here before (here being in the soap box)

              If it moves, compile it

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