My wife is dead...
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Mike and Bob had just finished the first nine holes in their round of golf, and it was obvious that Mike was having an awful day. "Gee Mike, you're just not your old self today. What's the matter?" asked Bob. Mike, looking pretty glum, said, "I think Connie's dead." "My God! That's terrible," said Bob, "but you said you only THINK your wife is dead. Aren't you sure?" "Well, I just don't know" responded Mike, "the sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up."