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BJOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    R Giskard Reventlov
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

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    • R R Giskard Reventlov

      Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."

      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

      H Offline
      H Offline
      hoernchenmeister
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Haven't heared that for a while, but I definitly have to try this soon :)

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      • H hoernchenmeister

        Haven't heared that for a while, but I definitly have to try this soon :)

        S Offline
        S Offline
        Slacker007
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        hoernchenmeister wrote:

        I definitly have to try this soon

        Do keep us updated. ;)

        "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
        "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "But you probably have the smoothest scrotum of any grown man" - Pete O'Hanlon (2012)

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        • S Slacker007

          hoernchenmeister wrote:

          I definitly have to try this soon

          Do keep us updated. ;)

          "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
          "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "It is the celestial scrotum of good luck!" - Nagy Vilmos (2011) "But you probably have the smoothest scrotum of any grown man" - Pete O'Hanlon (2012)

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          H Offline
          hoernchenmeister
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          This will be a win/win situation for me anyways. Either I can get home totally wasted without any problems or I get layed... :cool: Ok, she might get mad but there is a high chance that this will be a good laugh... until our daughted wakes up who sleeps in out beedroom :)

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          • H hoernchenmeister

            This will be a win/win situation for me anyways. Either I can get home totally wasted without any problems or I get layed... :cool: Ok, she might get mad but there is a high chance that this will be a good laugh... until our daughted wakes up who sleeps in out beedroom :)

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            L Offline
            loctrice
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            hoernchenmeister wrote:

            until our daughted wakes up who sleeps in out beedroom

            Are you just getting home now?

            If it moves, compile it

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            • L loctrice

              hoernchenmeister wrote:

              until our daughted wakes up who sleeps in out beedroom

              Are you just getting home now?

              If it moves, compile it

              H Offline
              H Offline
              hoernchenmeister
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Sorry loctrice, but I don't get it (not a native speaker though) I was referring to the next time when I get home drunk in the middle of the night, which might be tomorrow :)

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              • H hoernchenmeister

                Sorry loctrice, but I don't get it (not a native speaker though) I was referring to the next time when I get home drunk in the middle of the night, which might be tomorrow :)

                L Offline
                L Offline
                loctrice
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                hoernchenmeister wrote:

                Sorry loctrice, but I don't get it

                It was a remark implying that you must be drunk now to have left those mistakes.

                If it moves, compile it

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                • L loctrice

                  hoernchenmeister wrote:

                  Sorry loctrice, but I don't get it

                  It was a remark implying that you must be drunk now to have left those mistakes.

                  If it moves, compile it

                  H Offline
                  H Offline
                  hoernchenmeister
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I am not actually drunk but tired... our daughter is 9 months old which results in a lack of sleep :)

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                  • H hoernchenmeister

                    I am not actually drunk but tired... our daughter is 9 months old which results in a lack of sleep :)

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                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    9 months.. 9 years. It won't matter. Now that you have a child, sleep is a thing that you will day dream about. :java: is your friend ;P

                    Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

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                    • L Lost User

                      9 months.. 9 years. It won't matter. Now that you have a child, sleep is a thing that you will day dream about. :java: is your friend ;P

                      Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                      H Offline
                      H Offline
                      hoernchenmeister
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I know what you mean :) Sometimes I wake up to the beeping sound that comes up when your head rests on your keyboard for too long... Not mentioning the key-marks on my forehead :)

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