Another lawyer joke
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This lawyer living in Dallas gets a call from a client in Houston and learns he need to fly down there that evening to attend a hearing the next morning, so he calls home to tell his wife the plan. The maid answers the phone and he asks to speak to his wife. The maid hems and haws, and nervously says she's not available, so the lawyer presses her about what's going on. Finally, the maid admits that his wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman. The lawyer takes a deep breath, and tells the maid to go into the study and pick up the phone there. She does, and he tells her to reach into the top right drawer of his desk and get the pistol he keeps there. Then he tells her to go upstairs and kill his wife and her lover. Of course, she protests that she could never do such a thing, but this lawyer has a silver tongue and, citing case law, tells her that in Texas, it's considered justifiable homicide to kill your adulterous wife and her lover and that since she's acting as his agent, it's OK. Somehow, he talks her into it, and listening on the phone, hears two gunshots and some banging sounds. She comes back to the phone and says, "Sir, I did it. I killed them." He asks what all the banging afterwards was, and she says "I didn't know what to do with the bodies, so I dragged them down the stairs and threw them into the swimming pool." The lawyer pauses, takes another deep breath, and says: "Swimming pool.... Hmmmm... swimming pool.... Uh, is this 214-555-9235?"
Tom Clement Serena Software, Inc. www.serena.com articles[^]
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This lawyer living in Dallas gets a call from a client in Houston and learns he need to fly down there that evening to attend a hearing the next morning, so he calls home to tell his wife the plan. The maid answers the phone and he asks to speak to his wife. The maid hems and haws, and nervously says she's not available, so the lawyer presses her about what's going on. Finally, the maid admits that his wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman. The lawyer takes a deep breath, and tells the maid to go into the study and pick up the phone there. She does, and he tells her to reach into the top right drawer of his desk and get the pistol he keeps there. Then he tells her to go upstairs and kill his wife and her lover. Of course, she protests that she could never do such a thing, but this lawyer has a silver tongue and, citing case law, tells her that in Texas, it's considered justifiable homicide to kill your adulterous wife and her lover and that since she's acting as his agent, it's OK. Somehow, he talks her into it, and listening on the phone, hears two gunshots and some banging sounds. She comes back to the phone and says, "Sir, I did it. I killed them." He asks what all the banging afterwards was, and she says "I didn't know what to do with the bodies, so I dragged them down the stairs and threw them into the swimming pool." The lawyer pauses, takes another deep breath, and says: "Swimming pool.... Hmmmm... swimming pool.... Uh, is this 214-555-9235?"
Tom Clement Serena Software, Inc. www.serena.com articles[^]
What's the difference between a dead lawyer in the road, and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk. What do you call a BMW full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. A tour boat went to sea one day for a three hour cruise, filled to capacity with vacationing tourists. Unfortunately, it hit a reef and began to sink, within sight of a populated island, but in a region filled with man-eating sharks. The passengers were in a panic, since there was only one small lifeboat and upon inspection, it turned out to have no oars or radio. One passenger volunteered to attempt a swim to shore to find assistance, and promptly jumped overboard. He swam leisurely to shore, and a few hours later a tow boat appeared on the scene to haul the stranded passengers to safety. When the group was safely ashore, one of them found the hero who swam to land to alert the rescue officials and save them all. He asked, "How did you manage to get to shore safely, with all those hungry sharks in the water, without being eaten alive?" The man answered, "Simple; I'm a lawyer." The newly rescued gent was clearly confused by this answer, so the hero clarified his answer by saying, "Professional courtesy."
Will Rogers never met me.