Dog food
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I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out. A woman behind me askedif I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting ‘The Meaty Bites Diet’ again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.
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