Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. The Lounge
  3. joke

joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
c++announcement
21 Posts 10 Posters 0 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • V Offline
    V Offline
    Vasily Tserekh
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    A couple enters a restaurant and ask for a meal, when they were ordering dishes the noticed that the waitress always brang the food with the thumb inside the food. when they ordered the soup and after they had done with it the husband asked the waitress: why do you have always to bring the food with your thumb sticked into it, she replied I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. Then the husband replied: and why you dont stick your finger over your f.... ass, she replied that is what I do between dishes :) note english its not my native language so any 2.0 version of the joke will be acepted

    C W J 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • V Vasily Tserekh

      A couple enters a restaurant and ask for a meal, when they were ordering dishes the noticed that the waitress always brang the food with the thumb inside the food. when they ordered the soup and after they had done with it the husband asked the waitress: why do you have always to bring the food with your thumb sticked into it, she replied I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. Then the husband replied: and why you dont stick your finger over your f.... ass, she replied that is what I do between dishes :) note english its not my native language so any 2.0 version of the joke will be acepted

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Corporal Agarn
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Got a chuckle from me. You did well with the translation.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • V Vasily Tserekh

        A couple enters a restaurant and ask for a meal, when they were ordering dishes the noticed that the waitress always brang the food with the thumb inside the food. when they ordered the soup and after they had done with it the husband asked the waitress: why do you have always to bring the food with your thumb sticked into it, she replied I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. Then the husband replied: and why you dont stick your finger over your f.... ass, she replied that is what I do between dishes :) note english its not my native language so any 2.0 version of the joke will be acepted

        W Offline
        W Offline
        wizardzz
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        This is one reason to avoid socialized healthcare. [Edit: Can someone explain why this was reported, along with my explanation of the joke? It's a fucking joke, grow the fuck up, or stop using the internet. It appears that sensitive univoters are using the report button to express their dissatisfaction with humour. Wasn't there a policy to make those that flag or vote for removal publicly named?]

        B 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W wizardzz

          This is one reason to avoid socialized healthcare. [Edit: Can someone explain why this was reported, along with my explanation of the joke? It's a fucking joke, grow the fuck up, or stop using the internet. It appears that sensitive univoters are using the report button to express their dissatisfaction with humour. Wasn't there a policy to make those that flag or vote for removal publicly named?]

          B Offline
          B Offline
          Big Daddy Farang
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          You mean because of what it's done to the OP, or within the context of the supposed joke?

          BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

          W 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • B Big Daddy Farang

            You mean because of what it's done to the OP, or within the context of the supposed joke?

            BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

            W Offline
            W Offline
            wizardzz
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            ;)

            C 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              ;)

              C Offline
              C Offline
              cpkilekofp
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Private medicine is great, as long as you can afford it. Managed care is great, as long you don't have something that's threatening but not fixable - I can't get lower spinal surgery paid for because my C2 and C3 discs are nearly touching my spinal cord; since this means I've got a very high chance of spending my last days as Christopher Reeve spent his, no surgery to fix my torn L3-L4 junction, even though it would clear up quite a few issues for me. Yeah, I can still get the surgery if I pay cash. Private medicine is great, if you can afford it. While this ax is over my head, humor does not include the socialized medicine debate. Glad to rain on your parade. The joke was nicely done, the humor was passed along even with the occasional error. I'd guess it was a much better job than I'd do translating the same joke into your language.

              "Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover

              W 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C cpkilekofp

                Private medicine is great, as long as you can afford it. Managed care is great, as long you don't have something that's threatening but not fixable - I can't get lower spinal surgery paid for because my C2 and C3 discs are nearly touching my spinal cord; since this means I've got a very high chance of spending my last days as Christopher Reeve spent his, no surgery to fix my torn L3-L4 junction, even though it would clear up quite a few issues for me. Yeah, I can still get the surgery if I pay cash. Private medicine is great, if you can afford it. While this ax is over my head, humor does not include the socialized medicine debate. Glad to rain on your parade. The joke was nicely done, the humor was passed along even with the occasional error. I'd guess it was a much better job than I'd do translating the same joke into your language.

                "Seize the day" - Horace "It's not what he doesn't know that scares me; it's what he knows for sure that just ain't so!" - Will Rogers, said by him about Herbert Hoover

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke. [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                V P 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke. [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                  V Offline
                  V Offline
                  Vasily Tserekh
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  wizardzz wrote:

                  What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke.

                  mmm interesting the finger inside his own ass its not a joke, interesting :)

                  W 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • V Vasily Tserekh

                    wizardzz wrote:

                    What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke.

                    mmm interesting the finger inside his own ass its not a joke, interesting :)

                    W Offline
                    W Offline
                    wizardzz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you are talking about now.

                    B 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you are talking about now.

                      B Offline
                      B Offline
                      Big Daddy Farang
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      That makes three of us. I have the sudden urge to piss in someone's oatmeal.

                      BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

                      V 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • B Big Daddy Farang

                        That makes three of us. I have the sudden urge to piss in someone's oatmeal.

                        BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

                        V Offline
                        V Offline
                        Vasily Tserekh
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        did you understood the joke, where the waitress placed her finger between dishes?

                        B 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • V Vasily Tserekh

                          did you understood the joke, where the waitress placed her finger between dishes?

                          B Offline
                          B Offline
                          Big Daddy Farang
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I understood the original joke. Thanks for asking. :)

                          BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke. [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Pete OHanlon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            wizardzz wrote:

                            [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                            There certainly seems to be a trend for clicking the abuse button as a knee jerk response. I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

                            *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                            "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                            CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                            W L 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • P Pete OHanlon

                              wizardzz wrote:

                              [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                              There certainly seems to be a trend for clicking the abuse button as a knee jerk response. I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

                              *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                              "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                              CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                              W Offline
                              W Offline
                              wizardzz
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              It's sad because the button has helped keep us from rampant spamming. It is dealt with pretty quickly, but some people just can't handle the power.

                              P 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • V Vasily Tserekh

                                A couple enters a restaurant and ask for a meal, when they were ordering dishes the noticed that the waitress always brang the food with the thumb inside the food. when they ordered the soup and after they had done with it the husband asked the waitress: why do you have always to bring the food with your thumb sticked into it, she replied I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. Then the husband replied: and why you dont stick your finger over your f.... ass, she replied that is what I do between dishes :) note english its not my native language so any 2.0 version of the joke will be acepted

                                J Offline
                                J Offline
                                jesarg
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                                A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                                Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                                After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                                The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                                "That's what I do in between dishes."

                                Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                                C K 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • W wizardzz

                                  It's sad because the button has helped keep us from rampant spamming. It is dealt with pretty quickly, but some people just can't handle the power.

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Pete OHanlon
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

                                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                  W 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • P Pete OHanlon

                                    With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

                                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                    W Offline
                                    W Offline
                                    wizardzz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    With Great Power Great Responsibility Comes is more fitting of your avatar.

                                    P 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      With Great Power Great Responsibility Comes is more fitting of your avatar.

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Pete OHanlon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Actually, it should really be "Not ready for power this one."

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • J jesarg

                                        Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                                        A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                                        Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                                        After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                                        The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                                        "That's what I do in between dishes."

                                        Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Chris Meech
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        :thumbsup: Funnier, I think.

                                        Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • J jesarg

                                          Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                                          A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                                          Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                                          After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                                          The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                                          "That's what I do in between dishes."

                                          Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                                          K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          Keith Barrow
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          jesarg wrote:

                                          before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                                          Why did you stop, just as it was getting interesting :)

                                          Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                                          -Or-
                                          A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups