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joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • W wizardzz

    I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke. [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

    V Offline
    V Offline
    Vasily Tserekh
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    wizardzz wrote:

    What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke.

    mmm interesting the finger inside his own ass its not a joke, interesting :)

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    • V Vasily Tserekh

      wizardzz wrote:

      What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke.

      mmm interesting the finger inside his own ass its not a joke, interesting :)

      W Offline
      W Offline
      wizardzz
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you are talking about now.

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      • W wizardzz

        I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you are talking about now.

        B Offline
        B Offline
        Big Daddy Farang
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        That makes three of us. I have the sudden urge to piss in someone's oatmeal.

        BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

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        • B Big Daddy Farang

          That makes three of us. I have the sudden urge to piss in someone's oatmeal.

          BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

          V Offline
          V Offline
          Vasily Tserekh
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          did you understood the joke, where the waitress placed her finger between dishes?

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          • V Vasily Tserekh

            did you understood the joke, where the waitress placed her finger between dishes?

            B Offline
            B Offline
            Big Daddy Farang
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            I understood the original joke. Thanks for asking. :)

            BDF I often make very large prints from unexposed film, and every one of them turns out to be a picture of myself as I once dreamed I would be. -- BillWoodruff

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            • W wizardzz

              I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. What kind of doctor would give this advice, but not tell the patient to keep the area clean? That was the joke. [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Pete OHanlon
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              wizardzz wrote:

              [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

              There certainly seems to be a trend for clicking the abuse button as a knee jerk response. I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

              *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

              "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

              CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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              • P Pete OHanlon

                wizardzz wrote:

                [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                There certainly seems to be a trend for clicking the abuse button as a knee jerk response. I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

                *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                It's sad because the button has helped keep us from rampant spamming. It is dealt with pretty quickly, but some people just can't handle the power.

                P 1 Reply Last reply
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                • V Vasily Tserekh

                  A couple enters a restaurant and ask for a meal, when they were ordering dishes the noticed that the waitress always brang the food with the thumb inside the food. when they ordered the soup and after they had done with it the husband asked the waitress: why do you have always to bring the food with your thumb sticked into it, she replied I have a preoblem with a bad nail and the doctor told me to place the thumb in a hot place. Then the husband replied: and why you dont stick your finger over your f.... ass, she replied that is what I do between dishes :) note english its not my native language so any 2.0 version of the joke will be acepted

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jesarg
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                  A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                  Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                  After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                  The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                  "That's what I do in between dishes."

                  Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

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                  • W wizardzz

                    It's sad because the button has helped keep us from rampant spamming. It is dealt with pretty quickly, but some people just can't handle the power.

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                    W 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • P Pete OHanlon

                      With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                      W Offline
                      W Offline
                      wizardzz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      With Great Power Great Responsibility Comes is more fitting of your avatar.

                      P 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • W wizardzz

                        With Great Power Great Responsibility Comes is more fitting of your avatar.

                        P Offline
                        P Offline
                        Pete OHanlon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        Actually, it should really be "Not ready for power this one."

                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • J jesarg

                          Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                          A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                          Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                          After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                          The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                          "That's what I do in between dishes."

                          Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                          C Offline
                          C Offline
                          Chris Meech
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          :thumbsup: Funnier, I think.

                          Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • J jesarg

                            Jokes need version 2.0 a lot, regardless of how good the English is. Inevitably, they get ruined by poor retellings, eventually to the point where the reteller tells the punch line first and then forgets the rest of the joke altogether. As it is, your joke is fine, but here's a shot at version 2.0:

                            A couple entered a restaurant and ordered a hot meal. When the waitress brought them their order, she carried the plates with her thumb stuck in the food each time.

                            Instead of demanding a re-order like normal people, the couple ate the food, either because they were too dumb to realize that they could re-order, in too much of a hurry to wait for a re-order, or too afraid that demanding a re-order would cause the mafia-boss who owned the restaurant to serve them to his dogs.

                            After foolishly eating the meal, the husband asked the waitress why she always had her thumb stuck in the food. She replied that she had a bad nail, and her doctor asked her to keep her thumb warm.

                            The husband shot back, "Then why don't you just stick your finger into your f-ing ass?"

                            "That's what I do in between dishes."

                            Then the wife finally spoke up and said, "Wait, we're a couple. Why am I not in the joke? Am I so shy that I always let my husband talk for me?" before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                            K Offline
                            K Offline
                            Keith Barrow
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            jesarg wrote:

                            before the husband and the waitress could wrestle her to the ground and gag her.

                            Why did you stop, just as it was getting interesting :)

                            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                            -Or-
                            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

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                            • P Pete OHanlon

                              wizardzz wrote:

                              [Edit, this was also voted for removal. I see absolutely nothing offensive here. This kind of action, if allowed, is going to finish off the Lounge]

                              There certainly seems to be a trend for clicking the abuse button as a knee jerk response. I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

                              *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                              "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                              CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                              I believe this loophole will soon be plugged.

                              With a thumb?

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