NNAOTD

[Jimmy Savile]

Now we can vote on the 'best' News Story, I'll kick it off with this 'in depth' study that describes the filth that is 'Scoffing' and how these miscreants are doing it in secret. Shame on them[^].

[Lost User]

Live Updates From A&E At Royal Derby Hospital[^] General manager David Ainsworth on how staff are coping with the snow: Highlights so far; There is a porter pushing a trolley. Transport are struggling to collect a patient. They call and let him know. 12 patients in ER - none with weather related problems.

Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

[Lost User]

Man likes Tesco burgers a bit too much[^] My dad's family is from Ilkeston - it is an interesting place.

Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

[Jimmy Savile]

I think anything regarding Beastality should be an instant winner.

[Keith Barrow]

Amongst the weather-related "news" items and one informing me that the Sand-Dancers (South Shieldsians) like horses, it's a toss up between these two: Charity Shop Opens[^] Local Councillor doesn't like comedy programme[^] In one of those twists of fate, the main character in "Hebburn" (the above programme) gets a job as the editor of the local rag - obviously modelled on the Shields Gazette.

Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

[Mark_Wallace]

"The survey revealed 55 per cent of ladies in the city are secret eaters." If they give away secrets so easily, they're not ladies.

I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

[Lost User]

The story is particularly pointless as after all the Councillor doesn't like it stuff they finish with other Councillor does like it. I don't mind Hebburn, but I'd not miss it.

Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends. Shed Petition[^]

[Keith Barrow]

I currently live in Hebburn, I pass the family's house every day, it's about a minute's walk from where I live. I quite enjoyed it, but it probably rings true for me. The daughter reminds me of one of my mate's sister, and there is one big Keith in our street, sadly I'm it. I also saw a girl on the way to the metro who was a somewhere between the lead character's ex and Devine out of the Ress Meyer films. The other thing is that I find the wife of the main character easy on the eye and I've always had a soft spot for Gina McKee for some reason I can't quite work out.

Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]