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Joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • L Lost User

    The joke was possibly PG, the explanation isn't. Picture her sliding backwards down the banister, a leg either side, now imagine which bit is getting warm and that is what she wants him to eat for dinner.

    “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    At least we know the answer to why the man got his penis stuck in a toaster[^], he must have lived in a bungalow.

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    • L Lost User

      Snap!

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      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      What do you reckon to Ryan Bird? Just signed him to my fantasy team at work.

      “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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      • L Lost User

        What do you reckon to Ryan Bird? Just signed him to my fantasy team at work.

        “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        He looks good, scored two in a friendly and was chased by a lot of clubs. If your looking for other Pompey players then Ricardo Rocha's a really good bet, he hasn't officially signed yet so probably won't be on the list but he will do. Played for us in the Premier League(and every season since) solid defender and could still do a job in the Championship. Connoley and Ertl are probably obvious ones. Do you have a link to the fantasy website didn't realise you could do it for league2.

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        • L Lost User

          He looks good, scored two in a friendly and was chased by a lot of clubs. If your looking for other Pompey players then Ricardo Rocha's a really good bet, he hasn't officially signed yet so probably won't be on the list but he will do. Played for us in the Premier League(and every season since) solid defender and could still do a job in the Championship. Connoley and Ertl are probably obvious ones. Do you have a link to the fantasy website didn't realise you could do it for league2.

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          You can't, it's something we do at work, although I think a marketable idea if I could be bothered writing the website and doing the research / data entry. We currently have 16 managers in the league, each manager picks 20 players (6 defense, 6 midfield, 6 attack, 2 keepers) from the top 4 English leagues. A player can only be in one squad, new signings are made by sealed bids each Tuesday. Each week you play against another manager, home formations are 3-3-4, away are 4-3-3. Only goals scored count (or clean sheets for keepers). We have a league with 2 divisions, two cup competitions, and a Champions League style round robin competition. Each manager pays 10 quid to join each season, transfers are a minimum of 25 pence, and then we spend the money on trophies, beer, and kebabs at the end of each season. It's been going here for 25 years I think.

          “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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          • H Hamid Taebi

            A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister. "What are you doing?" he asks. "Warming up your dinner." --------------- A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

            Of one Essence is the human race thus has Creation put the base One Limb impacted is sufficient For all Others to feel the Mace (Saadi )

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            Mark_Wallace
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            I do wish that people would give their posts appropriate titles.

            I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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            • L Lost User

              You can't, it's something we do at work, although I think a marketable idea if I could be bothered writing the website and doing the research / data entry. We currently have 16 managers in the league, each manager picks 20 players (6 defense, 6 midfield, 6 attack, 2 keepers) from the top 4 English leagues. A player can only be in one squad, new signings are made by sealed bids each Tuesday. Each week you play against another manager, home formations are 3-3-4, away are 4-3-3. Only goals scored count (or clean sheets for keepers). We have a league with 2 divisions, two cup competitions, and a Champions League style round robin competition. Each manager pays 10 quid to join each season, transfers are a minimum of 25 pence, and then we spend the money on trophies, beer, and kebabs at the end of each season. It's been going here for 25 years I think.

              “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              Sounds a lot of fun, I like the idea of the real game situation where you play another manager and the cups. BTW, I checked up[^] and it looks like Bird isn't certain to start, would have thought connoley was the safer bet.

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              • L Lost User

                Sounds a lot of fun, I like the idea of the real game situation where you play another manager and the cups. BTW, I checked up[^] and it looks like Bird isn't certain to start, would have thought connoley was the safer bet.

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                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                I considered Connolly, but he's 36 now. Still scored 7 in 17 for you last season though. I quite liked the idea of taking a punt on Bird who no-one would have heard of before.. I signed Jordan Rhodes when he first moved to Huddersfield, and Gareth Bale when they were talking of loaning him to the championship so those two have been propping up my team for a couple of seasons.

                “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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                • L Lost User

                  I considered Connolly, but he's 36 now. Still scored 7 in 17 for you last season though. I quite liked the idea of taking a punt on Bird who no-one would have heard of before.. I signed Jordan Rhodes when he first moved to Huddersfield, and Gareth Bale when they were talking of loaning him to the championship so those two have been propping up my team for a couple of seasons.

                  “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks

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                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  OK I missed the point that once a players yours he's yours to keep. In that case Bird is a very good option as I think he will feature heavily even if he doesn't start the first game. You must be hoping Bale stays at Spurs then.

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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    I'm not sure it works with anything other than meat (and two veg) - I suspect that a spag bol might be a bit too sloppy to slide correctly...

                    The universe is composed of electrons, neutrons, protons and......morons. (ThePhantomUpvoter)

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                    Simon_Whale
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    OriginalGriff wrote:

                    meat (and two veg)

                    Is that cooking by friction burns?

                    Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence EAT BACON

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                    • L Lost User

                      I assumed he was going to be eating the banister. I must have read it that way because I don't have a dirty mind.

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                      Single Step Debugger
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      MehGerbil wrote:

                      I must have read it that way because I don't have a dirty mind.

                      Really? What about your implication about the cooking oil she was covering the banister with?

                      There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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