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  3. I walked into a bar the other day and Leslie Nielsen asked me ...

I walked into a bar the other day and Leslie Nielsen asked me ...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    DeathByChocolate
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

    "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

    N A OriginalGriffO D C 6 Replies Last reply
    0
    • D DeathByChocolate

      What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

      "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

      A Offline
      A Offline
      Argonia
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      DeathByChocolate wrote:

      I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?"

      Chocolate, because Chocolate is always the answer. I am happy for your vacation. I hope the weather is fine and you have great time :) Afterwards you can share some pictures with the rest of us.

      Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true

      J D 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • D DeathByChocolate

        What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

        "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nagy Vilmos
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        ... and you just can't hide it!

        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • D DeathByChocolate

          What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

          "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriff
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          What's Yellow and Highly Dangerous? Shark Infested Custard. How do you get four elephants into a Mini? Two in the front, two in the back. How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge. How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge? There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini. How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the butter. Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

          Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

          D _ 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • N Nagy Vilmos

            ... and you just can't hide it!

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I was going to use the "And I know I know I know I know I know I want you" line, but frankly? You're not my type.

            Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            D 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • A Argonia

              DeathByChocolate wrote:

              I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?"

              Chocolate, because Chocolate is always the answer. I am happy for your vacation. I hope the weather is fine and you have great time :) Afterwards you can share some pictures with the rest of us.

              Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Johnny J
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Argonia wrote:

              Afterwards you can share some pictures with the rest of us.

              ...Could be taken on a vacation, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR! [^] :laugh:

              Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
              Anonymous
              -----
              The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
              Winston Churchill, 1944
              -----
              I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
              Me, all the time

              A 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • A Argonia

                DeathByChocolate wrote:

                I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?"

                Chocolate, because Chocolate is always the answer. I am happy for your vacation. I hope the weather is fine and you have great time :) Afterwards you can share some pictures with the rest of us.

                Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true

                D Offline
                D Offline
                DeathByChocolate
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Argonia wrote:

                Chocolate, because Chocolate is always the answer.

                :-D Indeed!

                "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • J Johnny J

                  Argonia wrote:

                  Afterwards you can share some pictures with the rest of us.

                  ...Could be taken on a vacation, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR! [^] :laugh:

                  Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                  Anonymous
                  -----
                  The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                  Winston Churchill, 1944
                  -----
                  I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                  Me, all the time

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  Argonia
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  I was thinking of a pictures of nice choco & ice cream melbas, the ones who can be found in islands like Bora-Bora. You know exotic dishes. But if you ask Death nicely you maybe can recieve your "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR!" pictures. I believe you can pay her with ice-cream and choco.

                  Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true

                  J 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    I'm about to lose control and I think I like it I was going to use the "And I know I know I know I know I know I want you" line, but frankly? You're not my type.

                    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    DeathByChocolate
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    I want to love you, feel you, Wrap myself around you. I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough. ... and that's what I sing to my chocolate bar! :-D

                    "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D DeathByChocolate

                      What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

                      "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                      D Offline
                      D Offline
                      DaveAuld
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Don't mention parrots, there are usually chicken chilling out nearby somewhere...:~

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                        What's Yellow and Highly Dangerous? Shark Infested Custard. How do you get four elephants into a Mini? Two in the front, two in the back. How do you get an elephant into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door. How do you get a giraffe into the fridge? 1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge. How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge? There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini. How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? By the footprints in the butter. Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

                        Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        DeathByChocolate
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        OriginalGriff wrote:

                        So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard

                        :mad: That's actually not a joke, it's factually correct. I was ambushed when eating a bowl of custardy pudding by a hot sticky elephant and I've never been able to face a Spotted Dick since! ;)

                        "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D DeathByChocolate

                          I want to love you, feel you, Wrap myself around you. I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough. ... and that's what I sing to my chocolate bar! :-D

                          "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Until the last line, I was getting worried! (Herself might not take it well) :laugh:

                          Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • D DeathByChocolate

                            OriginalGriff wrote:

                            So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard

                            :mad: That's actually not a joke, it's factually correct. I was ambushed when eating a bowl of custardy pudding by a hot sticky elephant and I've never been able to face a Spotted Dick since! ;)

                            "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                            OriginalGriffO Offline
                            OriginalGriffO Offline
                            OriginalGriff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            What you do in the privacy of your own home...

                            Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                            K 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • A Argonia

                              I was thinking of a pictures of nice choco & ice cream melbas, the ones who can be found in islands like Bora-Bora. You know exotic dishes. But if you ask Death nicely you maybe can recieve your "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR!" pictures. I believe you can pay her with ice-cream and choco.

                              Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              Johnny J
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Argonia wrote:

                              But if you ask Death nicely you maybe can recieve your "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR!" pictures.
                              I believe you can pay her with ice-cream and choco.

                              For some reason, I kinda doubt it... ;) But I can try: Aaaaaaliiiii! PLEASE! Pretty please! I'll give you all the chocolate I can afford! :laugh: Now, on the other hand: I know that Nagy can be easily bought off with a pint of gin, but somehow, that's not quite the same... :~

                              Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                              Anonymous
                              -----
                              The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                              Winston Churchill, 1944
                              -----
                              I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                              Me, all the time

                              P 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                What you do in the privacy of your own home...

                                Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952) Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                Kenneth Haugland
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Quote:

                                What you do in the privacy of your own home...

                                we want pictures of. No wait... :laugh:

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • K Kenneth Haugland

                                  Quote:

                                  What you do in the privacy of your own home...

                                  we want pictures of. No wait... :laugh:

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Kenneth Haugland wrote:

                                  we want pictures

                                  your wish is my command[^]

                                  K 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    Kenneth Haugland wrote:

                                    we want pictures

                                    your wish is my command[^]

                                    K Offline
                                    K Offline
                                    Kenneth Haugland
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    :laugh:

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • D DeathByChocolate

                                      What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

                                      "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      Chris Quinn
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      What's brown and sticky? A stick What's smelly, brown and sounds like a bell? Dung

                                      ========================================================= I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka. =========================================================

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D DeathByChocolate

                                        What's orange and sounds like a parrot? I said, "I don't know, what's orange and sounds like a parrot?" He said ... "a carrot!" ;) Look I'm sorry, I'm on holiday next week and I'm over excited! :jig:

                                        "State acheived after eating too many chocolate-covered coconut bars - bountiful" Chris C-B

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Corporal Agarn
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        DeathByChocolate wrote:

                                        over excited!

                                        Take a cold shower.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • J Johnny J

                                          Argonia wrote:

                                          But if you ask Death nicely you maybe can recieve your "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no MOAR!" pictures.
                                          I believe you can pay her with ice-cream and choco.

                                          For some reason, I kinda doubt it... ;) But I can try: Aaaaaaliiiii! PLEASE! Pretty please! I'll give you all the chocolate I can afford! :laugh: Now, on the other hand: I know that Nagy can be easily bought off with a pint of gin, but somehow, that's not quite the same... :~

                                          Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
                                          Anonymous
                                          -----
                                          The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
                                          Winston Churchill, 1944
                                          -----
                                          I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
                                          Me, all the time

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          PIEBALDconsult
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Johnny J. wrote:

                                          pint of gin

                                          It comes in pints?

                                          You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.

                                          J 1 Reply Last reply
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