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  • P Offline
    P Offline
    PhilLenoir
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I find, from time-to-time, that my mind will go off on some strange meanderings based on some seemingly innocuous trigger. On Saturday morning, as I was getting up, my wife came into the bedroom carrying a laundry basket and said "I have some underwear and clothes here if you're short", and so off it goes:

    • Is underwear not a subclass of clothes?
    • What has my height got to do with it?
    • The state of not being short is undefined, but is it that, if I'm not short
      • She does not have underwear and clothes?
      • She still has them, but I'm not going to be allowed them
      • She has only underwear or clothes

    All is well as:

    • I'm a tad below average height which probably means I'm short
    • I wasn't short of clothes or underwear, so it didn't matter

    A little later we're on a 45 minute drive (I'm driving) and she asks me this bizarre question "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

    • She's tired but it would be unfair of her to sleep when I can't?
    • She needs to stay awake so that if I drop off she can grab the steering wheel?
    • She's too terrified of going to sleep as she knows we're going to crash and die?
    • She actually meant to say "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep"?

    In the event, she went to sleep and her snoring kept me awake, so all ended well.

    Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

    OriginalGriffO C M 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • P PhilLenoir

      I find, from time-to-time, that my mind will go off on some strange meanderings based on some seemingly innocuous trigger. On Saturday morning, as I was getting up, my wife came into the bedroom carrying a laundry basket and said "I have some underwear and clothes here if you're short", and so off it goes:

      • Is underwear not a subclass of clothes?
      • What has my height got to do with it?
      • The state of not being short is undefined, but is it that, if I'm not short
        • She does not have underwear and clothes?
        • She still has them, but I'm not going to be allowed them
        • She has only underwear or clothes

      All is well as:

      • I'm a tad below average height which probably means I'm short
      • I wasn't short of clothes or underwear, so it didn't matter

      A little later we're on a 45 minute drive (I'm driving) and she asks me this bizarre question "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

      • She's tired but it would be unfair of her to sleep when I can't?
      • She needs to stay awake so that if I drop off she can grab the steering wheel?
      • She's too terrified of going to sleep as she knows we're going to crash and die?
      • She actually meant to say "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep"?

      In the event, she went to sleep and her snoring kept me awake, so all ended well.

      Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriff
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      PhilLenoir wrote:

      What was her logic

      Female :laugh:

      Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

      P 1 Reply Last reply
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      • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

        PhilLenoir wrote:

        What was her logic

        Female :laugh:

        Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

        P Offline
        P Offline
        PhilLenoir
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        They didn't teach that in my Propositional Calculus class.

        Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

        OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P PhilLenoir

          I find, from time-to-time, that my mind will go off on some strange meanderings based on some seemingly innocuous trigger. On Saturday morning, as I was getting up, my wife came into the bedroom carrying a laundry basket and said "I have some underwear and clothes here if you're short", and so off it goes:

          • Is underwear not a subclass of clothes?
          • What has my height got to do with it?
          • The state of not being short is undefined, but is it that, if I'm not short
            • She does not have underwear and clothes?
            • She still has them, but I'm not going to be allowed them
            • She has only underwear or clothes

          All is well as:

          • I'm a tad below average height which probably means I'm short
          • I wasn't short of clothes or underwear, so it didn't matter

          A little later we're on a 45 minute drive (I'm driving) and she asks me this bizarre question "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

          • She's tired but it would be unfair of her to sleep when I can't?
          • She needs to stay awake so that if I drop off she can grab the steering wheel?
          • She's too terrified of going to sleep as she knows we're going to crash and die?
          • She actually meant to say "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep"?

          In the event, she went to sleep and her snoring kept me awake, so all ended well.

          Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

          C Offline
          C Offline
          chriselst
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          PhilLenoir wrote:

          "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

          For a guess she intended to stay awake to talk to you if you did fell tired to keep you alert. Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina. I was in the passenger seat, I woke having dropped off to see the car doing around 125 mph. I asked the driver why we were going that fast. He replied "I'm seeing how fast I can go to try to stay awake". I talked to him the rest of the way home.

          Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

          P L 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • P PhilLenoir

            They didn't teach that in my Propositional Calculus class.

            Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            They don't teach it in Marriage Guidance class either! :-D

            Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            P 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • C chriselst

              PhilLenoir wrote:

              "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

              For a guess she intended to stay awake to talk to you if you did fell tired to keep you alert. Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina. I was in the passenger seat, I woke having dropped off to see the car doing around 125 mph. I asked the driver why we were going that fast. He replied "I'm seeing how fast I can go to try to stay awake". I talked to him the rest of the way home.

              Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

              P Offline
              P Offline
              PhilLenoir
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I'm almost certain that you're correct. however, I discounted that as not funny. OTH, you're presence here does suggest it was a good stratagem on your journey. I do have a question though: Could your lack of sleep be because you were in both Leeds and Bradford at the same time (therefore occupying the whole of Pudsey), you kept switching between the two, you weren't sure where you were (which is common for Southeners as everywhere above Watford Gap is "Oop North", but not so easily understood if you're from Leicester [which, of course, is "Oop North"])

              Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

              C 1 Reply Last reply
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              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                They don't teach it in Marriage Guidance class either! :-D

                Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                P Offline
                P Offline
                PhilLenoir
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Really? Isn't that the whole point?

                Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P PhilLenoir

                  Really? Isn't that the whole point?

                  Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                  OriginalGriff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  No, they are generally run by men and none of our brains can cope with Female Logic... :sigh:

                  Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                  "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                  P 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    No, they are generally run by men and none of our brains can cope with Female Logic... :sigh:

                    Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    PhilLenoir
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    So you're saying that Marriage Guidance doesn't actually work then?

                    Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P PhilLenoir

                      I'm almost certain that you're correct. however, I discounted that as not funny. OTH, you're presence here does suggest it was a good stratagem on your journey. I do have a question though: Could your lack of sleep be because you were in both Leeds and Bradford at the same time (therefore occupying the whole of Pudsey), you kept switching between the two, you weren't sure where you were (which is common for Southeners as everywhere above Watford Gap is "Oop North", but not so easily understood if you're from Leicester [which, of course, is "Oop North"])

                      Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      chriselst
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I wasn't sure if the full story was interesting enough but here goes, should it bore then it is your fault. I was at university in Leicester, and I played American Football for the combined Leicester Universities' team, the Lemmings. In my final year we were actually quite good, and some of us were invited to England trials which were to be held in Leeds on a Saturday morning. So we (5 of us) rented a Ford Cortina from somewhere and set off on the Friday night, one of our number having rung around a few nightclubs and persuaded them we were from Mixmag, a dance music magazine, securing our names on the guest list. Our plan was to party the night away, sleep in the car park of where the trials were to take place, impress with our undoubted talents, play for England. After the club closed at about 2 in the morning we found two girls who were able to direct us to a place that stayed open all night long. After getting in we discovered it didn't have a drinks license for the wee small hours, and was just playing dance music and serving coffee. We left there around five in the morning and drove the two girls back to Bradford where they lived before returning to Leeds and locating the car park. Here we attempted to sleep, one in the driver seat, one in the passenger seat, and three in the backseat / boot are, the seat having been laid flat. I was in the back, and another of our number, Jag, slept not by closing his eyes but by rolling them up inside his head so only the white showed. It was utterly terrifying and I spent most of the night staring at him to make sure he wasn't a zombie or vampire or something. Anyway, 8 o'clock came around and people started to turn up for the trials. We got out of the car, a bit of a stretch, a piss up a tree, had a smoke, a chat with some of those we knew. Then thought fuck it, let's go and get some breakfast. Which we did before driving back to Leicester.

                      Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                      P 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • C chriselst

                        I wasn't sure if the full story was interesting enough but here goes, should it bore then it is your fault. I was at university in Leicester, and I played American Football for the combined Leicester Universities' team, the Lemmings. In my final year we were actually quite good, and some of us were invited to England trials which were to be held in Leeds on a Saturday morning. So we (5 of us) rented a Ford Cortina from somewhere and set off on the Friday night, one of our number having rung around a few nightclubs and persuaded them we were from Mixmag, a dance music magazine, securing our names on the guest list. Our plan was to party the night away, sleep in the car park of where the trials were to take place, impress with our undoubted talents, play for England. After the club closed at about 2 in the morning we found two girls who were able to direct us to a place that stayed open all night long. After getting in we discovered it didn't have a drinks license for the wee small hours, and was just playing dance music and serving coffee. We left there around five in the morning and drove the two girls back to Bradford where they lived before returning to Leeds and locating the car park. Here we attempted to sleep, one in the driver seat, one in the passenger seat, and three in the backseat / boot are, the seat having been laid flat. I was in the back, and another of our number, Jag, slept not by closing his eyes but by rolling them up inside his head so only the white showed. It was utterly terrifying and I spent most of the night staring at him to make sure he wasn't a zombie or vampire or something. Anyway, 8 o'clock came around and people started to turn up for the trials. We got out of the car, a bit of a stretch, a piss up a tree, had a smoke, a chat with some of those we knew. Then thought fuck it, let's go and get some breakfast. Which we did before driving back to Leicester.

                        Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                        P Offline
                        P Offline
                        PhilLenoir
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Impressive feat, that, getting a Jag in a Cortina. I now have a picture of Lemmings happily following each other between Bradford and Leeds. I loved that game.

                        Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • C chriselst

                          PhilLenoir wrote:

                          "Are you tired because if you aren't I'm going to sleep?" What was her logic:

                          For a guess she intended to stay awake to talk to you if you did fell tired to keep you alert. Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina. I was in the passenger seat, I woke having dropped off to see the car doing around 125 mph. I asked the driver why we were going that fast. He replied "I'm seeing how fast I can go to try to stay awake". I talked to him the rest of the way home.

                          Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          chriselst wrote:

                          Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina

                          I did that once when I went to some American Football trials. (Didn't really, if memory serves me correctly that's why you were there and I just wanted to freak you out a little)

                          C 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • P PhilLenoir

                            Impressive feat, that, getting a Jag in a Cortina. I now have a picture of Lemmings happily following each other between Bradford and Leeds. I loved that game.

                            Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                            C Offline
                            C Offline
                            chriselst
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Jag was easy to fit in, he was a mid sized Asian lad and easily the smallest amongst us. The two wide receivers were not too much trouble, but there wasn't much room left after the addition of two linemen, let alone before we squeezed the two girls in. I used to play Lemmings on my Sony Ericcson P800 smart phone. This was in 2002, a full 5 years before Apple invented them.

                            Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                            P 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L Lost User

                              chriselst wrote:

                              Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina

                              I did that once when I went to some American Football trials. (Didn't really, if memory serves me correctly that's why you were there and I just wanted to freak you out a little)

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              chriselst
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              I've told the story on here before then. Hope the details didn't differ to much from what I've just put above. :-D

                              Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                chriselst wrote:

                                Many, many, many years ago I spent a mostly sleepless night in Leeds and Bradford before driving back to Leicester in a rented Cortina

                                I did that once when I went to some American Football trials. (Didn't really, if memory serves me correctly that's why you were there and I just wanted to freak you out a little)

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                chriselst
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Not too bad[^] The previous telling was in response to a previous incarnation of you I see.

                                Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • P PhilLenoir

                                  So you're saying that Marriage Guidance doesn't actually work then?

                                  Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                                  OriginalGriffO Offline
                                  OriginalGriff
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Wouldn't know: Herself won't let me go...

                                  Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                  "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                                  "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                                  P 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • C chriselst

                                    Jag was easy to fit in, he was a mid sized Asian lad and easily the smallest amongst us. The two wide receivers were not too much trouble, but there wasn't much room left after the addition of two linemen, let alone before we squeezed the two girls in. I used to play Lemmings on my Sony Ericcson P800 smart phone. This was in 2002, a full 5 years before Apple invented them.

                                    Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    PhilLenoir
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Quote:

                                    I used to play Lemmings on my Sony Ericcson P800 smart phone. This was in 2002, a full 5 years before Apple invented them.

                                    I played Lemmings on a PC, years before that. It sounds like Apple may have been the last to the party, certainly not the first. Originally developed for the Amiga in '91!

                                    Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                                    C 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                                      Wouldn't know: Herself won't let me go...

                                      Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      PhilLenoir
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      She probably know you're/it's a lost cause! :D

                                      Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P PhilLenoir

                                        Quote:

                                        I used to play Lemmings on my Sony Ericcson P800 smart phone. This was in 2002, a full 5 years before Apple invented them.

                                        I played Lemmings on a PC, years before that. It sounds like Apple may have been the last to the party, certainly not the first. Originally developed for the Amiga in '91!

                                        Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        chriselst
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Yeah, I think Amiga was where I first had it. I worked wonderfully on that P800 though, I was wasting hours messing around on my phone years before everyone else. Talking of which anyone remember what you did when having a shit before the invention of the smartphone? It also had an app (I don't think they were called apps yet) that used the IR sender / receiver as a universal remote control, also lots of fun.

                                        Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                                        P 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • C chriselst

                                          Yeah, I think Amiga was where I first had it. I worked wonderfully on that P800 though, I was wasting hours messing around on my phone years before everyone else. Talking of which anyone remember what you did when having a shit before the invention of the smartphone? It also had an app (I don't think they were called apps yet) that used the IR sender / receiver as a universal remote control, also lots of fun.

                                          Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          PhilLenoir
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Quote:

                                          Talking of which anyone remember what you did when having a sh*t before the invention of the smartphone?

                                          Sounds like "P800" was apposite?

                                          Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.

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