Why I hate your code
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No developer ever sets out to write bad code. Every developer writes the best code they can given the time, information and skills they have at the time. With hindsight, we can all look back at even our best work and see room for improvement.
"There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C.A.R. Hoare Home | LinkedIn | Google+ | Twitter
When I look at what I'm currently working on, there must have been a contest over many years to write the worst and most unmaintainable code.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?" "You mean like from space?" "No, from Canada." If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns. -
Ya but did the plumber lay some pipe?
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
Roto. Rooter.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I have recently, actually. One of our senior devs left the company for greener pastures and I moved into his team to pick up his work. His code is actually quite nice, and a lot of it is way beyond stuff I have ever done before, so his intuitive naming conventions and copious comments are quite helpful.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
You are dead, and you've gone to heaven. Lucky you.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Been there, done that indeed. I inherited a moderate size body of code when the company 're-organized', and then spent about 40% of my time over the next two years re-writing every damned bit of it except for the visuals. It's part of a WPF app. The UI looked really nice, but the XAML creating the UI and the code-behind was absolutely wretched.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Working on trying to wade through a large application that was originally designed by persons who couldn't write "Hello World!" in HTML. Add to that a passing army of contractors who added droves of classes that have to be dissected before you can make small changes, like don't approve something that is marked failed.
I just need a day off, way off!
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Marc Clifton wrote:
And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's sh*t.
Strange, that's one of the things I actually enjoy. I get a good feeling of accomplishment by making a system better. Sometimes, that means introducing new functionality, sometimes it means cleaning up the turds. I also think that's made me a better developer. You know, some people are only there to serve as an example to others sorta thing...seeing all that over the years makes me more aware of sh*t not to do.
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Marc Clifton wrote:
And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's sh*t.
Strange, that's one of the things I actually enjoy. I get a good feeling of accomplishment by making a system better. Sometimes, that means introducing new functionality, sometimes it means cleaning up the turds. I also think that's made me a better developer. You know, some people are only there to serve as an example to others sorta thing...seeing all that over the years makes me more aware of sh*t not to do.
agolddog wrote:
Strange, that's one of the things I actually enjoy. I get a good feeling of accomplishment by making a system better.
Indeed, so do I. Unfortunately, there are numerous "garbage in, garbage out" situations that apply not just to data but to code, and there's really nothing I can contribute that makes a system better unless it were rewritten from scratch. And that's usually not realistic, so the cycle of bandaids and patches continues. Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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And of course your projects and code are perfect! Calm down dear, take a chill pill and thank your lucky stars you aren't shovelling shit for a living!
Paul S Wilcox wrote:
nd of course your projects and code are perfect!
Of course! :)
Paul S Wilcox wrote:
and thank your lucky stars you aren't shovelling sh*t for a living!
The amusing thing about that is I've actually volunteered on a farm school to muck out the stables and sheep pens. Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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No developer ever sets out to write bad code. Every developer writes the best code they can given the time, information and skills they have at the time. With hindsight, we can all look back at even our best work and see room for improvement.
"There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult." - C.A.R. Hoare Home | LinkedIn | Google+ | Twitter
Dominic Burford wrote:
No developer ever sets out to write bad code.
On the other hand, there are developers that should have the self-introspection to step away from the keyboard. Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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Marc Clifton wrote:
bad programmers
Also known as anyone other than one's self. :-\
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
RyanDev wrote:
Also known as anyone other than one's self.
Quite so, but I tend to rank myself in the "least bad" category. :) Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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Have you ever inherited code from good programmers?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment "Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst "I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
jeron1 wrote:
Have you ever inherited code from good programmers?
No, because good code from good programmers usually doesn't result in the client getting pissed off at the development team and switching to another code house. Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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I have recently been advertising myself as a plumber. Plumbers fix systems, clogged with other people's shiit and that is what we do. If it wasn't clogged, they wouldn't be calling us.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld wrote:
Plumbers fix systems, clogged with other people's shiit and that is what we do.
Except usually a clog is just in one pipe. Sure, it may take a 50 foot snake to clear it, but then it's done, unless the pipe is infested with the roots of some tree downstream, then you usually call someone else. :) Point being, it's one pipe, one tool, and a lot of muck. Code shit is a maze of pipes, numerous tools, and the muck never seems to go away, it just gets pushed around to other pipes. Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
And it's even worse when the manager who handed you the hot steaming pile has no idea that the dev who wrote it whom he had hired who has recently left the company was a hack. (What are you talking about, 'bad code', that guy was brilliant!)
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And it's even worse when the manager who handed you the hot steaming pile has no idea that the dev who wrote it whom he had hired who has recently left the company was a hack. (What are you talking about, 'bad code', that guy was brilliant!)
Daniel R. Przybylski wrote:
What are you talking about, 'bad code', that guy was brilliant!)
I've heard that a few times recently. The guy was called "superman." I so wish I could put on my blog, in big screaming caps, DO NOT HIRE THIS IDIOT!!!! Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
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I have recently, actually. One of our senior devs left the company for greener pastures and I moved into his team to pick up his work. His code is actually quite nice, and a lot of it is way beyond stuff I have ever done before, so his intuitive naming conventions and copious comments are quite helpful.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
Quote:
intuitive naming conventions and copious comments
...is that the sound of the wings flapping on that flock of pigs flying by? Actually, I do that myself - but usually I am the only one that sees them. I still appreciate them six months, or more, later when coming back to the code.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
I used to hate it too, but when the company I worked for went bust 25 yrs ago and I decided to start my own business, there were several legacy systems and no-one to maintain them, so while I couldn't quite write my own cheque I did pretty well out of it, and it kept me afloat until id developed my own commercial apps, and I still have the odd customer from long ago who puts new business my way - ever cloud !! GL
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Concur! (welcome to my fucking world).
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Marc Clifton wrote:
is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers
That is the way the real world works. Projects that are inherited have a history of programmers - plural. If there was in fact a single programmer then it is unlikely that one would inherit it, either because no one ever works on it or because the original programmer still works on it. So it becomes more likely that a an inherited application has been touched by several people. And people, including programmers, following a normal distribution curve. And despite claims at company meetings in all likelihood, by betting on the odds, the company is in fact average and is never above average. So the code is going to have, at best, good parts and bad parts.
Marc Clifton wrote:
And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's sh*t.
Myself I strive towards insuring, to the best of my ability, that people that follow me, which will happen for any company that is successful which employes me, will enjoy looking at and working on my code. Since I have been a manager and have absolutely no desire to do that again, that is the best that I will be giving to the world.
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
Well said... Made me remember this article: [^] Dicks and idiots
"... having only that moment finished a vigorous game of Wiff-Waff and eaten a tartiflet." - Henry Minute "Let's face it, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!" - gavindon Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. - gavindon
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I can succinctly state why I hate working on projects inherited from others, where a huge code base is inherited from bad programmers (and I have yet to work on a project where I have not inherited code from bad programmers, because quite frankly, those projects stay where they are because the client is happy!!!) It's because I'm spending my time debugging shit that isn't my shit, it's someone else's. And very few things piss me off more than having to spend even a miniscule fraction of my time on this planet fixing other people's shit. [edit]And I tend to find the most stinkiest shit written by Ruby on Rails code monkeys.[/edit] Marc
Imperative to Functional Programming Succinctly Contributors Wanted for Higher Order Programming Project!
So what else is new? I have never met a developer who had anything good to say about code he inherited from someone else. We're all individually God's gift to coding are we not? Everybody else's stuff is crap! ;-)
If you think hiring a professional is expensive wait until you try an amateur! - Red Adair