How to liven up meetings (long)
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' ROTFLMAO :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Really good one, is like sitting in your car which is parked on the street and holding a hair dryer in your hand... that's funny too. There's one you forgot: Everytime somebody asks you to do something, ask him if she/he wants fries with that... ;)
Olli Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot......
:beer: + :java: = NULL :=> X| -
Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval :laugh: Later,
JoeSox
www.humanaiproject.org "The only real valuable thing is intuition." -Albert Einstein (INTP) -
Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
Dear [your boss's name], During the [years/ months/ days] that I have worked here, I've come to better understand my own needs and the needs of the company. Regrettably, I've reached the conclusion that these needs are no longer in sync. [Without any blame or bad feelings/ For personal reasons I'd rather not discuss/ On advice from my psychiatrist and lawer], I've decided to tender my resignation. This is not a decision I've made lighlty nor in haste. I want you to know that my departure has nothing to do with the fact that [I am over-worked and under-paid/ you promoted that idiot instead of me/ the company is severely dysfunctional and evil]. It's just that I want to [spend more time in a job I feel I can grow in/ work with people I respect while doing something worthwhile/ get out before everyone gets indicted]. I sincerely want to thank you for [giving me the opportunity to work with you/ providing me a job that allowed me to discover what I didn't want to do/ nothing]. I wish you the best of luck in the future, and hope we'll have a chance to cross paths again in [the future/ the very, very distant future/ court]. Sincerely, [your name] ...Zack... GCS\P\SS d- s-:- a-- C++ U--- P--- L- E- W++ N o K- W+++ O++ M-- V PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5+ X+ R++ tv++ b++ DI++ D+++ G+ e* h- r++ y+
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' LOL heheh .. i might try those in the last meeting b4 my resignation. good tips! --------------- Horatiu CRISTEA
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids :-D Now this one I like!
What prevents people from seeing is the ghost of recollections of the past, in their eyes. - Carl Kyhlberg
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth John Honan wrote: Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face John Honan wrote: Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' I've actually done this. The "can you feel it?" thing on a girl. Fortunately she had a good sense of humour. Reflecting sunlight on friends only, not everyone. And the "I'm not finished!" on my boss once. :-D Thankfully he was a nice chap too.
Regards,Rohit Sinha
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa -
Dear [your boss's name], During the [years/ months/ days] that I have worked here, I've come to better understand my own needs and the needs of the company. Regrettably, I've reached the conclusion that these needs are no longer in sync. [Without any blame or bad feelings/ For personal reasons I'd rather not discuss/ On advice from my psychiatrist and lawer], I've decided to tender my resignation. This is not a decision I've made lighlty nor in haste. I want you to know that my departure has nothing to do with the fact that [I am over-worked and under-paid/ you promoted that idiot instead of me/ the company is severely dysfunctional and evil]. It's just that I want to [spend more time in a job I feel I can grow in/ work with people I respect while doing something worthwhile/ get out before everyone gets indicted]. I sincerely want to thank you for [giving me the opportunity to work with you/ providing me a job that allowed me to discover what I didn't want to do/ nothing]. I wish you the best of luck in the future, and hope we'll have a chance to cross paths again in [the future/ the very, very distant future/ court]. Sincerely, [your name] ...Zack... GCS\P\SS d- s-:- a-- C++ U--- P--- L- E- W++ N o K- W+++ O++ M-- V PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+ 5+ X+ R++ tv++ b++ DI++ D+++ G+ e* h- r++ y+
That's cool. We should have a templates section in CP for these soughts of things. :-D Cheers, Simon "I ask candidates to create an object model of a chicken.", Bruce Eckel on interviewing programmers. animation mechanics in SVG (my first abstract photo)
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Bored during meetings? Why not try some of these neat little exercises. Not only will it make meetings more interesting but your fellow work mates will become suddenly more alert and maintain a respectful distance: During a meeting: Discreetly clasp hold of someone's hand and whisper: 'can you feel it?' from the corner of your mouth Draw enormous genitalia on your notepad and discreetly show it to the person next to you for their approval When refreshments are presented, immediately distribute half a biscuit to each of the attendees. Wear a hands free phone headset throughout. once in a while drift off into an unrelated conversation, such as: 'I don't care if there are no dwarfs, just get the show done!' Write the words 'he fancies you' on your pad and show it to the person next to you while indicating with your pen Respond to a serious question with: 'I don't know what to say, obviously I'm flattered, but it's all happened so fast' Use Nam style jargon such as 'what's the ETA?', 'who's on recon?' & 'Charlie don't surf' Reconstruct the meeting in front of you using action figures and when anyone moves re-arrange the figures accordingly Draw a chalk circle around one of the chairs then avoid sitting on it when the meeting starts. When someone does eventually sit in it, cover your mouth and gasp Mount the desk and walk along its length before taking your seat Reflect sunlight into everyone's eyes off your watch face Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Drop meaningless & confusing management speak into conversations such as: 'what's the margin, marvin?' 'When's this turkey going to get basted?' 'If we don't get this brook babbling we're all going to end up looking like doe-eyed labradors' Use a large hunting knife to point at your visual aids Announce that you've run off some copies of the meeting agenda. Then hand out pieces of paper that read: My secret agenda 1. Trample the weak 2. Triumph alone 3. Invade Poland. Attempt to hypnotise the entire room using a pocket watch When referring to someone in the room always call them your 'homey' Leave long pauses in your speech at random moments. When someone is prompted to interject shout 'I AM NOT FINISHED' AND, IF YOU NEED A ONE LINER! 1 Well this day was a total waste of make-up. 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 3 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 4 Chaos, panic, disorder - My work here is d
John Honan wrote: Repeat every idea they express in a baby voice while moving your hand like a chattering mouth Funny.... John Honan wrote: 2 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. So true. :) -Nick Parker
