Phrases from job postings, translated
-
Just saw this one on a job posting:
Job post:
Must be a team player that works with a sense of urgency.
Okay, there are two translations that come to mind: 1) "works with a sense of urgency" -- Translates to..."Drinks a lot of water but is allowed no restroom breaks" :rolleyes: 2) Must be a team player that works with a sense of urgency -- Translates to, "Don't be griping when we tell you late Friday afternoon that the thing has got to be done by Monday morning!" Also notice that they are looking for a "team player that" and not a "team player who" which indicates that they think of you as any other piece of office equipment (chair, desk, etc.) since you're a that and not a who. :laugh:
Most of the key phrases I remember mean you don't want to work here! Seeking rock-star programmer -- We want someone who believes, "the show must go on" and will sacrifice their time, their health, their life, to get our software out the door. Oh yeah, and they can make a compiler sing, too. Fast paced environment -- We want someone who will work their ass off nights and weekends because the pace is so fast that it takes 60 hours a week to match it. Someone who can get up to speed quickly -- Our code base is a cesspool of technical debt, but don't expect any onboarding, and don't expect us to cut you any slack for not knowing what the people who made the mess know about the code.
-
Just saw this one on a job posting:
Job post:
Must be a team player that works with a sense of urgency.
Okay, there are two translations that come to mind: 1) "works with a sense of urgency" -- Translates to..."Drinks a lot of water but is allowed no restroom breaks" :rolleyes: 2) Must be a team player that works with a sense of urgency -- Translates to, "Don't be griping when we tell you late Friday afternoon that the thing has got to be done by Monday morning!" Also notice that they are looking for a "team player that" and not a "team player who" which indicates that they think of you as any other piece of office equipment (chair, desk, etc.) since you're a that and not a who. :laugh:
I know each of these translations (in this thread) to be both correct and true. I am utterly flabbergasted by how often these phrases are used in job descriptions. I suspect they use them to keep mature programmers away, and to hire naive ones who can be abused.
I should have a .sig here, somewhere. Maybe Kibo can lend me some of his.
-
Some people think the glass is half empty, other think the glass is half full. Engineers think the glass is twice as big as necessary.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
-
Make haste slowly.
