Dad Jokes
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So to the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. **** I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. **** My dog accidentally ate a whole bag to scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
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So to the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. **** I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. **** My dog accidentally ate a whole bag to scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
Q: What do you call a busy waiter? A: A server. --- Q: What do you call an idle server? A: A waiter. --- I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean. Huge if true. --- Q: Why was the developer unhappy at their job? A: They wanted arrays.
Graeme
"I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks one time, but I fear the man that has practiced one kick ten thousand times!" - Bruce Lee
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So to the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. **** I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. **** My dog accidentally ate a whole bag to scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
I met a microbiologist today – he was bigger than I expected.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I met a microbiologist today – he was bigger than I expected.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Q: What do you call a busy waiter? A: A server. --- Q: What do you call an idle server? A: A waiter. --- I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean. Huge if true. --- Q: Why was the developer unhappy at their job? A: They wanted arrays.
Graeme
"I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks one time, but I fear the man that has practiced one kick ten thousand times!" - Bruce Lee
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Here are a few more from ChatGPT... Why did the programmer go broke? Because he used up all his cache! Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#! I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25! Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs. How do you comfort a JavaScript bug? You console it. Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many branches. Why did the developer go broke? Because he lost his domain! Why did the database administrator leave his wife? She had too many tables and kept dropping his keys. Why do programmers prefer using the dark theme? Because light attracts bugs! Why did the computer keep freezing at the gym? It couldn't find its core muscles! Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many branches.
Graeme
"I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks one time, but I fear the man that has practiced one kick ten thousand times!" - Bruce Lee
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Here are a few more from ChatGPT... Why did the programmer go broke? Because he used up all his cache! Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#! I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25! Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs. How do you comfort a JavaScript bug? You console it. Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many branches. Why did the developer go broke? Because he lost his domain! Why did the database administrator leave his wife? She had too many tables and kept dropping his keys. Why do programmers prefer using the dark theme? Because light attracts bugs! Why did the computer keep freezing at the gym? It couldn't find its core muscles! Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many branches.
Graeme
"I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks one time, but I fear the man that has practiced one kick ten thousand times!" - Bruce Lee
Groan. I haven't talk to my wife in seven years. I don't want to interrupt her. **** My wife got pissed at me cuz I accidentally overcooked the ribeye last night. I told her we all make mistakes. *** What do you call a group of guys waiting for a haircut? A barber queque. *** I hired a handy man and gave him a to do a list. He only did #1, #3 and #5. It turns out he only does odd jobs. **** If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches? **** My My geography teacher asked me if I could name a country with no R in it. I said, "No way!" ****
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
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So to the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. **** I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. **** My dog accidentally ate a whole bag to scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
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So to the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. **** I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. **** My dog accidentally ate a whole bag to scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day" Badfinger
Mom Joke Early one morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. Mom - Wake up, son. Its time to go to school. Son - Awww, Mom! I don't want to go to school. Mom - Give me two reasons why. Son - One, the children all hate me. Two, the teachers all hate me. Mom - They are not reasons. Come on, wake up. You HAVE to go to school. Son - Ok Mom. Give me two reasons why I've to go to school. Mom - One, you are Fifty years old, and I believe you understand your responsibilities. And ... Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
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I met a microbiologist today – he was bigger than I expected.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
I thought Einstein was a theoretical physicist; turns out he was real!
Telegraph marker posts ... nothing to do with IT Phasmid email discussion group ... also nothing to do with IT Beekeeping and honey site ... still nothing to do with IT
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Mom Joke Early one morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. Mom - Wake up, son. Its time to go to school. Son - Awww, Mom! I don't want to go to school. Mom - Give me two reasons why. Son - One, the children all hate me. Two, the teachers all hate me. Mom - They are not reasons. Come on, wake up. You HAVE to go to school. Son - Ok Mom. Give me two reasons why I've to go to school. Mom - One, you are Fifty years old, and I believe you understand your responsibilities. And ... Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
