How do you cope?
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
By living the best life I can and sharing the time with those I love. Death is what gives meaning to our lives. We only get one shot, so it is up to us to make the best of it while we can. Michael CP Blog [^] Development Blog [^]
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
I know I'm going to get flamed for this but it's important. You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. There is no hope otherwise. Find a Christian friend and ask him what this means and where to start. Let me know if I can help.
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
AAntix wrote:
Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89.
Sorry to hear that. In this day and age, 89 is a good run for a lifespan though (especially male). So, the upside is at least he didn't die young and had the opportunity to live a good while.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
I don't think there is a way to cope with it. I always get like that when I contemplate eternity or to think that life/existence as we understand is just a fragment. I find that focusing on other stuff is the only way to deal with it. Some people focus on religion, work, kids, etc. Thinking about death too much always starts bringing up questions we'll probably never know the answer to - even religious people don't know (despite the fact they think they do - human arrogance again). I know it's not easy, to talk is cheap. But, that's why I find things like programming, hobbies, etc. so important. It helps keep us focused, and then we are able to achieve great things in life because we are not constantly worrying about death. Jeremy Falcon
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
It's called selective amnesia. Death is inevitable, so why get all hung up about it? We're all going to die one day, we just don't know when. My personal method of "dealing" with the fact that life is a terminal disease has three parts: 1. Whenever possible, make a difference in other peoples lives who have made a difference in mine. 2. Laugh. Often. And loud. 3. Don't be afraid to love. Mike Poz
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I know I'm going to get flamed for this but it's important. You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. There is no hope otherwise. Find a Christian friend and ask him what this means and where to start. Let me know if I can help.
Steve Holle wrote:
You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God? Just because it's what you been told or you have a book written 2,000 years ago by people that were even less educated than we are today? Jeremy Falcon
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
Which is worse, seeing someone you care about dying old with dementia, or seeing them die young in godd health and mind? Obviously your granddad lived a good life. God gives us dementia so that we can't see how sh**ty our lives are towards the end, but our loved ones think it's bad. There's no win-win situation when it comes to death. Death is inevitable. I really don't think about it since I'm too busy thinking about work, family, health, money and a million other things. Live each day at a time. Death comes at the end and is a necessity. My condolences.
"Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki Web - Blog - RSS - Math
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Steve Holle wrote:
You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God? Just because it's what you been told or you have a book written 2,000 years ago by people that were even less educated than we are today? Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
by people that is even less educated that we are today?
Excellent point, Jeremy. :rolleyes: At least those people could form proper sentences. ;P
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Steve Holle wrote:
You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God? Just because it's what you been told or you have a book written 2,000 years ago by people that were even less educated than we are today? Jeremy Falcon
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God?
There isn't any physical proof. That's why it's called faith. BW
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright -
Jeremy Falcon wrote:
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God?
There isn't any physical proof. That's why it's called faith. BW
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wrightbrianwelsch wrote:
That's why it's called faith.
Faith is an excuse for ignorance. Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote:
by people that is even less educated that we are today?
Excellent point, Jeremy. :rolleyes: At least those people could form proper sentences. ;P
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
At least those people could form proper sentences.
Nice diversion technique. You may as well just open up and say you don't have a point. Jeremy Falcon
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
AAntix wrote:
Last night my grandfather passed away.
My condolences. I lost my father last October. Many of us do know how you feel.
AAntix wrote:
His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting
I hope this does not come across rude. I will say you are fairly lucky. My father did not know who I was for the last 5+ years also. I would have gladly taken occational. Again I feel for you and know it hurts. Dementia is common and due to people not dying from other causes is getting more so. I heard that 50% of those that die from old age do have some form.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
I know my children and friends will remember the man I was. That is enough for me. This last fathers day was rough for me. First with out dad around. However my children wrote me a letter telling me what I meant and had taught them. (Tears are comming as I write this.) It did really mean a lot and they surprised me with the details. So I ask you to tell your Dad, what Grandfather meant to you and the good memories you had. It will mean a lot to your dad (or your mother as the case may be, I am speaking from my loss.) :rose: "Yes I know the voices are not real. But they have some pretty good ideas."
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AAntix wrote:
Last night my grandfather passed away.
My condolences. I lost my father last October. Many of us do know how you feel.
AAntix wrote:
His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting
I hope this does not come across rude. I will say you are fairly lucky. My father did not know who I was for the last 5+ years also. I would have gladly taken occational. Again I feel for you and know it hurts. Dementia is common and due to people not dying from other causes is getting more so. I heard that 50% of those that die from old age do have some form.
AAntix wrote:
How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable?
I know my children and friends will remember the man I was. That is enough for me. This last fathers day was rough for me. First with out dad around. However my children wrote me a letter telling me what I meant and had taught them. (Tears are comming as I write this.) It did really mean a lot and they surprised me with the details. So I ask you to tell your Dad, what Grandfather meant to you and the good memories you had. It will mean a lot to your dad (or your mother as the case may be, I am speaking from my loss.) :rose: "Yes I know the voices are not real. But they have some pretty good ideas."
5! Jeremy Falcon
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David Stone wrote:
At least those people could form proper sentences.
Nice diversion technique. You may as well just open up and say you don't have a point. Jeremy Falcon
My point was just that. I was only poking fun at you. I don't even want to go into a debate about your point...just wanted to have a little fun. It's the Lounge, after all. Not the soapbox. You must have images turned off, otherwise you'd have noticed the smilies in my post. :shrug:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man? -
Steve Holle wrote:
You need to find out what it means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.
And what proof do you have that Jesus was the son of God? Just because it's what you been told or you have a book written 2,000 years ago by people that were even less educated than we are today? Jeremy Falcon
I'm not interested in proving anything to you. I'm trying to provide comfort to someone who is hurting. Rather than attack my attempt, why don't you provide your version of confort?
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I'm not interested in proving anything to you. I'm trying to provide comfort to someone who is hurting. Rather than attack my attempt, why don't you provide your version of confort?
Steve Holle wrote:
why don't you provide your version of confort?
I already did. Why don't you read the thread? Jeremy Falcon
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brianwelsch wrote:
That's why it's called faith.
Faith is an excuse for ignorance. Jeremy Falcon
Faith is also not worth arguing over. It is what it is. People believe what they do for a whole host of reasons, most of which aren't important to anyone else. BW
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright -
My point was just that. I was only poking fun at you. I don't even want to go into a debate about your point...just wanted to have a little fun. It's the Lounge, after all. Not the soapbox. You must have images turned off, otherwise you'd have noticed the smilies in my post. :shrug:
Once you wanted revolution
Now you're the institution
How's it feel to be the man?David Stone wrote:
You must have images turned off, otherwise you'd have noticed the smilies in my post. :shrug:
I have a gift for passing up details. ;P Jeremy Falcon
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brianwelsch wrote:
That's why it's called faith.
Faith is an excuse for ignorance. Jeremy Falcon
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Last night my grandfather passed away. He was 89. He was stricken with Parkinsons and a whole host of other ailments that seem to come along when you get 80+ years old. His last 7 years he lived with Dementia, often forgetting the names of his children and close friends. It was the first time I ever saw someone dying right in front of me. His breathing was shallow and rapid. I hate the sight of seeing him in pain. I hate that my final memories are of him in this fragile state. I've always had difficulty accepting death. The idea of "just accept it and move on" seems to never provide me any comfort. When I think about my death or the death of my loved ones, my entire body reacts making my knees weak, heart race, and all of my thoughts are consumed with trying to find resolve. How do you live on in peace knowing the inevitable? Jim RunFatBoy.net[^] - Exercise for the rest of us.
Go outside, pick up the nicest smoothest stone you can find. Throw it as hard as you can and as far as you can. Once it's in the air freak out, try to keep it in the air longer, run and try to catch it, do anything possible to keep it in the air. Nothing you can do is going to prevent that stone from hitting the ground. It's going to. When it does that's it. Nothing you did will have changed that. So I offer you this.
- Appreciate the stone but don't covet it.
- When you throw the stone, aim carefully. You only get one toss so make sure it's path is free of obstructions.
- Admire how well the stone flies, how while it's in the air nothing impedes it's flight.
- When it comes to the ground clear your mind. It's over.
- Go back inside and live your life the way the stone lived it's flight.
Life is not about the destination it's about the journey. Some will tell you that you need God/Religion and while I think that's excellent advice I also think you need to realize that those things you hold on to the tightest will slip through your fingers and because you clutched them so tightly you'll never learn to appreciate them for what they are or were. Consider this. Right now you are not remembering the way your grandfather lived, you are remembering how he died. How do you think he would feel about that? He lived an entire life in front of you and all you can think about is how he died? I think instead he'd want you to cherish the best things about him and to keep him alive in your memories. Death is a brutal fact of life and you may need to seek grief counselling and there's no shame in that it can be very helpful. But I really think you just need lighten your step a bit carry your best memories of him wherever you go and celebrate the fact that for him life is no longer about suffering in physical pain and mental dimentia. Remember the great man he was not the shell of a man he became.:rose:
"You have an arrow in your butt!" - Fiona:cool:
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