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JOTD

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  • B Berry van Olphen

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realise that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,

    P Offline
    P Offline
    Paresh Solanki
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    I have proof of this amazing statement: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as:

    Girls = time * money

    But we also know that time = money, so

    Girls = money * money = money ^ 2

    Finally, observation shows that money is the root of all evil

    Girls = (root(money))^ 2

    therefore

    Girls = evil

    :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

    L B P R 4 Replies Last reply
    0
    • P Paresh Solanki

      I have proof of this amazing statement: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as:

      Girls = time * money

      But we also know that time = money, so

      Girls = money * money = money ^ 2

      Finally, observation shows that money is the root of all evil

      Girls = (root(money))^ 2

      therefore

      Girls = evil

      :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

      L Offline
      L Offline
      l a u r e n
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      hmmmmmm should i say anything..... :)

      D P B R 4 Replies Last reply
      0
      • P Paresh Solanki

        I have proof of this amazing statement: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as:

        Girls = time * money

        But we also know that time = money, so

        Girls = money * money = money ^ 2

        Finally, observation shows that money is the root of all evil

        Girls = (root(money))^ 2

        therefore

        Girls = evil

        :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

        B Offline
        B Offline
        Bruce Duncan
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Paresh Solanki wrote: Girls are Evil True, but the world would be so dull without them. ;) Bruce Duncan CP#9088, CPUA 0xA1EE, Sonork 100.10030
        Hi everyone. My name's Bruce. And I suffer from VB.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P Paresh Solanki

          I have proof of this amazing statement: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as:

          Girls = time * money

          But we also know that time = money, so

          Girls = money * money = money ^ 2

          Finally, observation shows that money is the root of all evil

          Girls = (root(money))^ 2

          therefore

          Girls = evil

          :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

          P Offline
          P Offline
          Paresh Solanki
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Men are worse: Men need time, money, girls and sex, so:-

          men = time X money X girls X sex

          but we know that time = money, so

          men = money X money X girls X sex

          Since all men want to have as much sex as possible with as many girls as possible, we can assert that (for men) sex = girls,

          men = money X money X girls X girls = money ^ 2 X girls ^ 2

          It has been determined that girls = evil (see previous post) and that money is the root of all evil, so

          money ^ 2 = evil

          this gives us

          men = evil X evil ^ 2

          proving that men are more evil than girls:) :) :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

          J H 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • L l a u r e n

            hmmmmmm should i say anything..... :)

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Daniel Ferguson
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            lauren wrote: should i say anything Well, you are a girl/woman; you could give your point of view. It may start a pointless flame war, or maybe some of us would learn something. :) "There is a fine line between lunacy and genius; it is my goal in life to keep them guessing just where the line lies..." -- Unknown

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • L l a u r e n

              hmmmmmm should i say anything..... :)

              P Offline
              P Offline
              Paresh Solanki
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              I'd like to hear your point of view Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P Paresh Solanki

                I have proof of this amazing statement: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as:

                Girls = time * money

                But we also know that time = money, so

                Girls = money * money = money ^ 2

                Finally, observation shows that money is the root of all evil

                Girls = (root(money))^ 2

                therefore

                Girls = evil

                :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Roger Allen
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Paresh Solanki wrote: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as: Girls = time * money Sorry, but there is a mistake in this. If a girl requires time and money then the stament should read Girls = time + money whick gives girls = money + money = 2*Money If money is the root of all evil Girls = 2 * (root(Evil)) So girls are even more evil as evil hasn't been rooted! I was going to take logs of both sides but I forget how the maths envolved works, plus the log of a girl is a sh!tty subject. :laugh: Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 If I had a quote, it would be a very good one.

                P 1 Reply Last reply
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                • R Roger Allen

                  Paresh Solanki wrote: We all know that girls require time and money. this can be expressed mathematically as: Girls = time * money Sorry, but there is a mistake in this. If a girl requires time and money then the stament should read Girls = time + money whick gives girls = money + money = 2*Money If money is the root of all evil Girls = 2 * (root(Evil)) So girls are even more evil as evil hasn't been rooted! I was going to take logs of both sides but I forget how the maths envolved works, plus the log of a girl is a sh!tty subject. :laugh: Roger Allen Sonork 100.10016 If I had a quote, it would be a very good one.

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Paresh Solanki
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  I disagree. For each period of time, girls require money, so I stand by the initial assertion. Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • B Berry van Olphen

                    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realise that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,

                    H Offline
                    H Offline
                    hollowMedia 0xFA7E
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    My girlfriend of 3 years says to me "I love you more then I have ever loved you." Then 1 week later she says "I don't know how I feel anymore" followed by "Things are just different." We go on like this for about 3 months. I feel like this is the longest breakup in history, but at least I can deal with it now. My question: How can feelings change from extreme love to indifference within 1 week? I mean...I didn't change. Women are confusing. ---- xian

                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P Paresh Solanki

                      Men are worse: Men need time, money, girls and sex, so:-

                      men = time X money X girls X sex

                      but we know that time = money, so

                      men = money X money X girls X sex

                      Since all men want to have as much sex as possible with as many girls as possible, we can assert that (for men) sex = girls,

                      men = money X money X girls X girls = money ^ 2 X girls ^ 2

                      It has been determined that girls = evil (see previous post) and that money is the root of all evil, so

                      money ^ 2 = evil

                      this gives us

                      men = evil X evil ^ 2

                      proving that men are more evil than girls:) :) :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      James T Johnson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Only if evil has a value greater than 1, values less than 1 get smaller when you multiply them together. :) James - has way too much time on his hands to think even think about that Simplicity Rules!

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • H hollowMedia 0xFA7E

                        My girlfriend of 3 years says to me "I love you more then I have ever loved you." Then 1 week later she says "I don't know how I feel anymore" followed by "Things are just different." We go on like this for about 3 months. I feel like this is the longest breakup in history, but at least I can deal with it now. My question: How can feelings change from extreme love to indifference within 1 week? I mean...I didn't change. Women are confusing. ---- xian

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        If men were more logical we wouldn't have a problem ;P you're always going round in circles, its only the size that varies

                        H 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • L Lost User

                          If men were more logical we wouldn't have a problem ;P you're always going round in circles, its only the size that varies

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          hollowMedia 0xFA7E
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          My dad says the same thing. He thinks we're all on an spiral- similar to what you've stated. ---- xian

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                          0
                          • L l a u r e n

                            hmmmmmm should i say anything..... :)

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            Brian Delahunty
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            lauren wrote: hmmmmmm should i say anything yep. you should


                            Now taking suggestionsfor a new sig. please email me all suggestions.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • P Paresh Solanki

                              Men are worse: Men need time, money, girls and sex, so:-

                              men = time X money X girls X sex

                              but we know that time = money, so

                              men = money X money X girls X sex

                              Since all men want to have as much sex as possible with as many girls as possible, we can assert that (for men) sex = girls,

                              men = money X money X girls X girls = money ^ 2 X girls ^ 2

                              It has been determined that girls = evil (see previous post) and that money is the root of all evil, so

                              money ^ 2 = evil

                              this gives us

                              men = evil X evil ^ 2

                              proving that men are more evil than girls:) :) :) Paresh Solanki There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

                              H Offline
                              H Offline
                              hollowMedia 0xFA7E
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              Paresh Solanki wrote: Since all men want to have as much sex as possible with as many girls as possible, we can assert that (for men) sex = girls, men = money X money X girls X girls = money ^ 2 X girls ^ 2 Unless you are a gay man, then you might get

                              men = money * money * men * men = money^2 * men

                              therefore

                              men * money^2 = 1

                              sqrt( money ) = sqrt( 1 / men )
                              +/- money = 1 / sqrt( men )
                              sqrt( men ) = 1 / money
                              sqrt( men ) = 1 / sqrt( evil )

                              Does this mean gay men with a lot of money = 1? Or that the root of gay men is that infinity as money reaches 0? Or that the root of gay men is the inverse of the root of evil? I never understood that lifestyle :\ ---- xian

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • L l a u r e n

                                hmmmmmm should i say anything..... :)

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Roger Wright
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                Go for it... you're up to the challenge!:-D

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