need advice, please.. [modified]
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Christian Graus wrote:
And, don't kid yourself, you typed in her name because you'd like it to go further.
Exactly what I thought. :)
Christian Graus wrote:
She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Because 1. She has no such intentions and is pissed because i. she found out he does ii. worse, everybody knows now OR 2. She has feelings too, but doesn't want everybody to know. Either way, he's dug himself a hole and put one foot in as well. :doh:
Cheers, Vikram.
"Life isn't fair, and the world is full of unscrupulous characters. There are things worth fighting for, killing for and dying for, but it's a really small list. Chalk it up to experience, let it go, and move on to the next positive experience in your life." - Christopher Duncan.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
1. She has no such intentions and is pissed because i. she found out he does ii. worse, everybody knows now
i think its the first one.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
2. She has feelings too, but doesn't want everybody to know.
nah.. this is impossible for sure.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
Either way, he's dug himself a hole and put one foot in as well.
ya, for the second time and even deeper this time. :sigh:
vijay.
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Jonathan [Darka] wrote:
The thing is you must give her as much time as necessary else she will just resent the pressure from you and that would make things worse.
i surely dont want that to happen.
Jonathan [Darka] wrote:
I would just try and act normal and if you see her, be friendly but keep a little distance for a while until you know she is ok with that.
i think it will be hard for me to stay away from her or avoid her. avoiding my best friend isn't easy for me. i wish i had a Girl friend. that would have helped me in avoiding my friend.
vijay.
vijay7173 wrote:
i wish i had a Girl friend. that would have helped me in avoiding my friend.
Don't delude yourself. Why did you type in her name if you don't want to go further with her? ;)
Cheers, Vikram.
"Life isn't fair, and the world is full of unscrupulous characters. There are things worth fighting for, killing for and dying for, but it's a really small list. Chalk it up to experience, let it go, and move on to the next positive experience in your life." - Christopher Duncan.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
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Sorry mate but I'm missing the point :
vijay7173 wrote:
My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. ...... she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months
This CANNOT be the reason for a furious argument...so it must be one of the following: 1) You're not telling the full truth 2) She is not telling YOU the full truth Case 1: If you want some help please let us understand the situation so that our effort will be more accurate. Case 2: You have to find out the reason ... besides ... do you actually have a crush on her ? is that the real problem ? Because you sound more like someone who is involved more emotionally than a friendship...and remember that fiends don't get mad "furiously" at each other on such futile reasons.....but lovers sometimes do. So if I were in your shoes: CASE A: you want MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP from her I'd ask her out. point. Non more waiting, no more ambiguity. Take a big breath and do it. It will be better regardless her answer CASE B: you want FRIENDSHIP from her Treat her like a friend: confront her and tell her eye to eye that she's not behaving like a true friend, that she is getting mad on something so futile that she's either not telling you the truth or not really your friend. Waiting.......giving her time ????? Why ? Just my 0.2 € Ciao Marco
Marco [Stinger] wrote:
do you actually have a crush on her ?
i actually had a crush on her when we first met. but i had to give up those feelings as i came to know her better.
Marco [Stinger] wrote:
you sound more like someone who is involved more emotionally than a friendship
well, this was true 3 years ago. not sure if this is still true. i just cant give up her or stay away from her.
Marco [Stinger] wrote:
you want MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP from her
i cannot wish that. i already know what her answer would be if i expect that from her. and more over, i dont want to lose her forever.
Marco [Stinger] wrote:
you want FRIENDSHIP from her
yes, as long as i live. :)
vijay.
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:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
Ciao
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but i am still confident that i will get her back to normal. :) i did that once and can do it again. but i am only bothered that it may take even longer to make the situation better :(
vijay.
For my experience. It is impossible to have a frienship just hoping on something else occurs one day. She will sense it and things like that will occur. Personnaly, I would leave her came to me. She's acting exagerately if what you are telling is truth and she is wrong to react so hard. So let her came back to you. If she sees that you go to her anyway you are screwed because you will show you are week. It is not kindness, it is weeckness. So, if I were you, I'll wait. And if she doesn't come, then you were not so good friends. It is better to see the truth than hiding it to yourself. And I have been in some situations like this, so I know it's hard to do and easy to say. Good luck!
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Phil Harding wrote:
My advice, get married, then all your troubles will be over
well, i am only 21yrs old and so i think i am too young for marriage. :)
vijay.
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vijay7173 wrote:
i wish i had a Girl friend. that would have helped me in avoiding my friend.
Don't delude yourself. Why did you type in her name if you don't want to go further with her? ;)
Cheers, Vikram.
"Life isn't fair, and the world is full of unscrupulous characters. There are things worth fighting for, killing for and dying for, but it's a really small list. Chalk it up to experience, let it go, and move on to the next positive experience in your life." - Christopher Duncan.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
Why did you type in her name if you don't want to go further with her?
sometimes we expect a lot, dont we??
vijay.
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Phil Harding wrote:
My advice, get married, then all your troubles will be over
well, i am only 21yrs old and so i think i am too young for marriage. :)
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001 -
hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
Woah...she didnt speak to you for 7 months because you put her name into a thing thats meant to calculate how much of a crush you had on her? (am I understanding that right??) She needs to either chill the hell out or (as Christian said) she has a crush on you too and is peeved because you've not asked her out yet. I suggest you wait till she'll speak to you and then DO find out why it upset her so much. If she gets annoyed about mentioning thepast just remind her that you are just trying to understand what exactly it was that upset her about the incident.
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For my experience. It is impossible to have a frienship just hoping on something else occurs one day. She will sense it and things like that will occur. Personnaly, I would leave her came to me. She's acting exagerately if what you are telling is truth and she is wrong to react so hard. So let her came back to you. If she sees that you go to her anyway you are screwed because you will show you are week. It is not kindness, it is weeckness. So, if I were you, I'll wait. And if she doesn't come, then you were not so good friends. It is better to see the truth than hiding it to yourself. And I have been in some situations like this, so I know it's hard to do and easy to say. Good luck!
siskhoalanka wrote:
it's hard to do and easy to say
exactly what i would have replied u with.:)
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
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It may sound hard, but any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
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Woah...she didnt speak to you for 7 months because you put her name into a thing thats meant to calculate how much of a crush you had on her? (am I understanding that right??) She needs to either chill the hell out or (as Christian said) she has a crush on you too and is peeved because you've not asked her out yet. I suggest you wait till she'll speak to you and then DO find out why it upset her so much. If she gets annoyed about mentioning thepast just remind her that you are just trying to understand what exactly it was that upset her about the incident.
J4amieC wrote:
she didnt speak to you for 7 months because you put her name into a thing thats meant to calculate how much of a crush you had on her? (am I understanding that right??)
nah... i should have put it this way - she did speak to me, but she was never comfortable while being with me for about 7 months or so. well putting her name was not the only issue there. as i said, i had an argument with her after that. and as the conversation continued during the argument, the situation got even worse.
J4amieC wrote:
she has a crush on you too
i am sure this is out of question.
vijay.
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It may sound hard, but any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
V. wrote:
any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
its really hard for me to accept that.
vijay.
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The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
i dont know either.
vijay.
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The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame :) Yi! ah!
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I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame :) Yi! ah!
Pierre Leclercq wrote:
I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame
yes, i think u are right.:)
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
Why does your post remind me of one of those "Dear Sir, you are a wonderful person and because of that I need your bank account information to deposit a billion trillion dollars left behind by my rich uncle..." Marc
People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith