need advice, please.. [modified]
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
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It may sound hard, but any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
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Woah...she didnt speak to you for 7 months because you put her name into a thing thats meant to calculate how much of a crush you had on her? (am I understanding that right??) She needs to either chill the hell out or (as Christian said) she has a crush on you too and is peeved because you've not asked her out yet. I suggest you wait till she'll speak to you and then DO find out why it upset her so much. If she gets annoyed about mentioning thepast just remind her that you are just trying to understand what exactly it was that upset her about the incident.
J4amieC wrote:
she didnt speak to you for 7 months because you put her name into a thing thats meant to calculate how much of a crush you had on her? (am I understanding that right??)
nah... i should have put it this way - she did speak to me, but she was never comfortable while being with me for about 7 months or so. well putting her name was not the only issue there. as i said, i had an argument with her after that. and as the conversation continued during the argument, the situation got even worse.
J4amieC wrote:
she has a crush on you too
i am sure this is out of question.
vijay.
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It may sound hard, but any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
V. wrote:
any friend of mine so upset with me over something like that, isn't truly a friend.
its really hard for me to accept that.
vijay.
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The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
i dont know either.
vijay.
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The real question is "What would Chuck Norris do?"
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"...the staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - Jason Jystad, 10/26/2001I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame :) Yi! ah!
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I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame :) Yi! ah!
Pierre Leclercq wrote:
I think Chuck Norris would simply ride the horse until it's tame
yes, i think u are right.:)
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
Why does your post remind me of one of those "Dear Sir, you are a wonderful person and because of that I need your bank account information to deposit a billion trillion dollars left behind by my rich uncle..." Marc
People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh Smith -
Why does your post remind me of one of those "Dear Sir, you are a wonderful person and because of that I need your bank account information to deposit a billion trillion dollars left behind by my rich uncle..." Marc
People are just notoriously impossible. --DavidCrow
There's NO excuse for not commenting your code. -- John Simmons / outlaw programmer
People who say that they will refactor their code later to make it "good" don't understand refactoring, nor the art and craft of programming. -- Josh SmithMarc Clifton wrote:
Why does your post remind me of one of those "Dear Sir, you are a wonderful person and because of that I need your bank account information to deposit a billion trillion dollars left behind by my rich uncle..."
well sir, does my post look that dumb??? :~ or can u please tell me what exactly u mean to say?? :confused: -- modified at 8:57 Tuesday 5th December, 2006
vijay.
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Scientists have found the cure for romance. Wedding cake.
Arthur Dent - "That would explain it. All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast - "No. That's perfectly normal paranoia. Everybody in the universe gets that." Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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well, my friend had a lot of belief in me. honestly, i had a crush with her when i first saw her. it was only a co-incidence that she became my best friend ever. as i came to know more about her after meeting her, i came to know that she was intrested in only friendship and nothing else. but last year she felt that i have betrayed her. she feels that i wanted to have the relationship other than friendship with her. She feels that i have hurt her feelings the most.:(
vijay.
So, she thinks that the act of entering her name in this crush calculator was demeaning? Friendship is based on honesty, and you are not being honest with her if you deny your feelings for her. All you can do is tell her how you feel, and if necessary (for friendships sake) you may need to walk away. If you are truly her friend, honesty is the only policy. Yes, it may hurt you, but living a lie is much worse. Remember though, that while other people can give advice, only you can decide what is best for you, so don't let anybody else "steamroller" you into something you don't want to do. Good luck.
Arthur Dent - "That would explain it. All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast - "No. That's perfectly normal paranoia. Everybody in the universe gets that." Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Leave her alone. Chasing her when she's mad gives her all the power and makes you look needy. Let her get over her anger, and then you can take off from where you left off. If you chase her while she's mad, it only makes her madder. And, don't kid yourself, you typed in her name because you'd like it to go further. She's probably mad because she's been waiting for you to ask her out. Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog
Christian Graus wrote:
Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
That's what I was thinking too.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*) -
Christian Graus wrote:
Why else would she get mad over something so trivial ?
That's what I was thinking too.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
That's what I was thinking too.
well, an year ago, she came to know that i had liked her when we first met her. and she came to the conclusion that i always had those feelings whenever i was with her . i dont deny having those feelings. may be i had those feelings somewhere deep in my mind. may be thats the reason why i put her name in the crush calculator. also, during an argument, i have talked to her in such a way that i hurt her the most. but, even i dont know what exactly she is angry about now. she just said that i have hurt her again by reminding of all the ugly situations that we faced a year back. please nish, can u give me any advice??? i really need help to get out of this.
vijay.
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So, she thinks that the act of entering her name in this crush calculator was demeaning? Friendship is based on honesty, and you are not being honest with her if you deny your feelings for her. All you can do is tell her how you feel, and if necessary (for friendships sake) you may need to walk away. If you are truly her friend, honesty is the only policy. Yes, it may hurt you, but living a lie is much worse. Remember though, that while other people can give advice, only you can decide what is best for you, so don't let anybody else "steamroller" you into something you don't want to do. Good luck.
Arthur Dent - "That would explain it. All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast - "No. That's perfectly normal paranoia. Everybody in the universe gets that." Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
Pete O`Hanlon wrote:
don't let anybody else "steamroller" you into something you don't want to do.
ya sure. i am just taking the advice from u all. then i will decide what to do. i am sure that your suggestions will definitely help me to take the right decision.
vijay.
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
That's what I was thinking too.
well, an year ago, she came to know that i had liked her when we first met her. and she came to the conclusion that i always had those feelings whenever i was with her . i dont deny having those feelings. may be i had those feelings somewhere deep in my mind. may be thats the reason why i put her name in the crush calculator. also, during an argument, i have talked to her in such a way that i hurt her the most. but, even i dont know what exactly she is angry about now. she just said that i have hurt her again by reminding of all the ugly situations that we faced a year back. please nish, can u give me any advice??? i really need help to get out of this.
vijay.
vijay7173 wrote:
please nish, can u give me any advice???
I've only got one relationship right in my life; every other relationship I had was messed up. So I am not really the best person to take advice from, but you could email her - unlike a phone call, where she can refuse to pick up the phone, or an SMS message where you can't put a lot of text, an email allows you to write a detailed mail that explains how you feel. If she really likes you (even as a friend), she's bound to reply to you or at least communicate with you.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*) -
vijay7173 wrote:
please nish, can u give me any advice???
I've only got one relationship right in my life; every other relationship I had was messed up. So I am not really the best person to take advice from, but you could email her - unlike a phone call, where she can refuse to pick up the phone, or an SMS message where you can't put a lot of text, an email allows you to write a detailed mail that explains how you feel. If she really likes you (even as a friend), she's bound to reply to you or at least communicate with you.
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
Currently working on C++/CLI in Action for Manning Publications. (*Sample chapter available online*)Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
but you could email her
yes, i did that. its only been two days and i have already sent her about 5 lengthy mails. i am afraid that they may irritate her even more. :sigh:
Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
So I am not really the best person to take advice from
if u are not the right person, u can consult with smitha and then tell me. may be a women can give a better advice to me. -- modified at 8:39 Tuesday 5th December, 2006
vijay.
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
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hello CPians. i got a lot of help from u all regarding programming. your suggestions has helped me to over come many of my problems regarding programming. but i now have a personal problem. can anyone give any suggestions to me in this. i am quite sure that i will get some sensible advice from u all. i have a friend who is very close to me than anyone else among my friends. in fact, she is my Best Friend ever.we are friends since 4 years. we were such good friends that others would envy us looking at our friendship. But last year, on 29th december, i received a mail called as "crush calculator" from one of my other friend. it asked me to enter the name with whom i had a crush with. i just had a try on it giving my friend's name. but the mail was such that whatever name we typed in the crush calculator, it will be sent to the sender of the mail. My friend came to know that i used her name in crush calculator. on 4th december last year, we had an argument with each other. that argument made the issue even a bigger one. soon, she was so furious that she didnt even talk to me for months. But later, after me putting a lot of effort, we again gradually became friends . our friendship was getting back to normal but i made a mess of my relationship with her again. two days back , i just reminded her of that incident again that took place exactly an year ago. i said her that it will be exactly one year that we were involved in an argument. and since i reminded her about that issue which had hurt her the most, she is again unhappy with me. she said that i have irritated her and hurt her again by reminding about the past incident. since its the second time that i have made a mistake, she is even more furious this time. she has again stopped talking to me. she is not receiving my call on the phone either. she is not replying to my mails or messages :sigh:.what should i do??? i feel like kicking myself for what i have done. most of my other friends tell me to give her some time. but i am not the one who waits for things to happen. i feel that things are not going to be better unless we talked on the issue. i have already apologised her for what i have done. but no response from my friend yet.i need an advice on what to do in order to get back my friend who is not even ready for talks. i have been in this situation earlier. but i dont want to wait for months to have this situation get better. i am looking out of sorts and dont know what to do. can anyone advice me on what to do??? please??? -- modi
Hey man, This post sure did get alot of replies. It is never easy when a man and a woman have a problem. I am not saying anything wrong about women. You have to keep in mind that your gender plays a big part on how you think and handle different problems. But, I hope you don't take this wrong man, from reading just a few of your responses here what I see: 1. Whether it is love or lust you got it bad for her 2. She doesn't 3. She is not that good of a friend for you 4. You probly feed her ego and you didn't even know it that is why when you did something other than make her feel good, she dropped you like QBasic. My advice: 1. Leave her alone 2. The less you chase her the less power you give her over you 3. If she is to be a good friend she will come back to you 4. Quit applogizing to her 5. Remember you were you before there was her, so be you Good luck, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
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Wjousts wrote:
Advice: use paragraphs.
yes sir, as per your advice, i have used the paragraphs now.
vijay.
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Hey man, This post sure did get alot of replies. It is never easy when a man and a woman have a problem. I am not saying anything wrong about women. You have to keep in mind that your gender plays a big part on how you think and handle different problems. But, I hope you don't take this wrong man, from reading just a few of your responses here what I see: 1. Whether it is love or lust you got it bad for her 2. She doesn't 3. She is not that good of a friend for you 4. You probly feed her ego and you didn't even know it that is why when you did something other than make her feel good, she dropped you like QBasic. My advice: 1. Leave her alone 2. The less you chase her the less power you give her over you 3. If she is to be a good friend she will come back to you 4. Quit applogizing to her 5. Remember you were you before there was her, so be you Good luck, Jason
Sometimes simply is better than fancy. The developer stated after typing code line 10 billion!!!
thank u jason. i agree with some points in you. and sorry if i have posted anything that i should not have posted. but i am not finding any help from my friends here. so i decided to take the help from the CPians here.
vijay.