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Joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • P Prakash Nadar

    Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


    -Prakash

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Funny, but nasty. X|

    █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒██████▒█▒██ █▒█████▒▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒▒██▒█▒██

    P 1 Reply Last reply
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    • L Lost User

      Funny, but nasty. X|

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      P Offline
      P Offline
      Prakash Nadar
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too. :confused:


      -Prakash

      M 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • P Prakash Nadar

        Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


        -Prakash

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        I dont know what sad fuckkers voted you a 1, but 5! And I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight! Cheers!

        Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

        M 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P Prakash Nadar

          Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


          -Prakash

          Q Offline
          Q Offline
          quiteSmart
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          You got a 5 from me. I think it is funny joke. good luck

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • P Prakash Nadar

            Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


            -Prakash

            R Offline
            R Offline
            R Giskard Reventlov
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            That was pretty funny: I guess only the prudish and anal humor-prevention officers voted you 1 rather than the well deserved 5s. Keep 'em coming... as Murphy might have said. :)

            home
            bookmarks

            R 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • P Prakash Nadar

              Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


              -Prakash

              V Offline
              V Offline
              V 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

              V.
              Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

              L 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R R Giskard Reventlov

                That was pretty funny: I guess only the prudish and anal humor-prevention officers voted you 1 rather than the well deserved 5s. Keep 'em coming... as Murphy might have said. :)

                home
                bookmarks

                R Offline
                R Offline
                Rajesh R Subramanian
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                digital man wrote:

                humor-prevention officers

                :laugh:


                Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • V V 0

                  I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

                  V.
                  Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  V. wrote:

                  instead of a friend

                  Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

                  Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                  V 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • L Lost User

                    V. wrote:

                    instead of a friend

                    Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

                    Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                    V Offline
                    V Offline
                    V 0
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    lol, you know you get voted down for making gay jokes don't you ;P. Besides, you're not my type :laugh:

                    V.
                    Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P Prakash Nadar

                      Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                      -Prakash

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Got my 5 (although with an Irish surname I should be offended).

                      the last thing I want to see is some pasty-faced geek with skin so pale that it's almost translucent trying to bump parts with a partner - John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                      Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

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                      0
                      • P Prakash Nadar

                        Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too. :confused:


                        -Prakash

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Michael P Butler
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Mr.Prakash wrote:

                        Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too.

                        You got my 5. This is the kind of joke we need to raise the tone in the soapbox.

                        Michael CP Blog [^] Development Blog [^]

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P Prakash Nadar

                          Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                          -Prakash

                          _ Offline
                          _ Offline
                          _AK_
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          nice one... :laugh:

                          Best Regards, Apurva Kaushal

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • P Prakash Nadar

                            Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                            -Prakash

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            Bradml
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            Got my 5


                            Brad Australian -CAUTION- The previous statement may contain traces of PHP, and by reading this statement you negate the right to vote me down.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • P Prakash Nadar

                              Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                              -Prakash

                              H Offline
                              H Offline
                              hairy_hats
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                              C 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • H hairy_hats

                                Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Chris S Kaiser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                                What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                                H 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L Lost User

                                  I dont know what sad fuckkers voted you a 1, but 5! And I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight! Cheers!

                                  Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Miszou
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  fat_boy wrote:

                                  I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                                  There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                                  The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                                  L I 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • M Miszou

                                    fat_boy wrote:

                                    I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                                    There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                                    The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    5! Ha ha!

                                    Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • C Chris S Kaiser

                                      Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                                      What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                                      H Offline
                                      H Offline
                                      hairy_hats
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Chris S Kaiser wrote:

                                      Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                                      Maybe where you live! Here you're more likely to get the reply "Please do not ask for credit because a smack in the mouth often offends."

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • M Miszou

                                        fat_boy wrote:

                                        I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                                        There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                                        The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        Ilion
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        And doubtless easier ways to work out the deal with the sausage.

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