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Joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • P Prakash Nadar

    Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


    -Prakash

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    I dont know what sad fuckkers voted you a 1, but 5! And I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight! Cheers!

    Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

    M 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • P Prakash Nadar

      Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


      -Prakash

      Q Offline
      Q Offline
      quiteSmart
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      You got a 5 from me. I think it is funny joke. good luck

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • P Prakash Nadar

        Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


        -Prakash

        R Offline
        R Offline
        R Giskard Reventlov
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        That was pretty funny: I guess only the prudish and anal humor-prevention officers voted you 1 rather than the well deserved 5s. Keep 'em coming... as Murphy might have said. :)

        home
        bookmarks

        R 1 Reply Last reply
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        • P Prakash Nadar

          Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


          -Prakash

          V Offline
          V Offline
          V 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

          V.
          Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

          L 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R R Giskard Reventlov

            That was pretty funny: I guess only the prudish and anal humor-prevention officers voted you 1 rather than the well deserved 5s. Keep 'em coming... as Murphy might have said. :)

            home
            bookmarks

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Rajesh R Subramanian
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            digital man wrote:

            humor-prevention officers

            :laugh:


            Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • V V 0

              I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

              V.
              Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              V. wrote:

              instead of a friend

              Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

              Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

              V 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • L Lost User

                V. wrote:

                instead of a friend

                Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

                Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                V Offline
                V Offline
                V 0
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                lol, you know you get voted down for making gay jokes don't you ;P. Besides, you're not my type :laugh:

                V.
                Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P Prakash Nadar

                  Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                  -Prakash

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Pete OHanlon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Got my 5 (although with an Irish surname I should be offended).

                  the last thing I want to see is some pasty-faced geek with skin so pale that it's almost translucent trying to bump parts with a partner - John Simmons / outlaw programmer
                  Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

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                  0
                  • P Prakash Nadar

                    Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too. :confused:


                    -Prakash

                    M Offline
                    M Offline
                    Michael P Butler
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    Mr.Prakash wrote:

                    Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too.

                    You got my 5. This is the kind of joke we need to raise the tone in the soapbox.

                    Michael CP Blog [^] Development Blog [^]

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P Prakash Nadar

                      Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                      -Prakash

                      _ Offline
                      _ Offline
                      _AK_
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      nice one... :laugh:

                      Best Regards, Apurva Kaushal

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • P Prakash Nadar

                        Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                        -Prakash

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        Bradml
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        Got my 5


                        Brad Australian -CAUTION- The previous statement may contain traces of PHP, and by reading this statement you negate the right to vote me down.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P Prakash Nadar

                          Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                          -Prakash

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          hairy_hats
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                          C 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • H hairy_hats

                            Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                            C Offline
                            C Offline
                            Chris S Kaiser
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                            What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                            H 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L Lost User

                              I dont know what sad fuckkers voted you a 1, but 5! And I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight! Cheers!

                              Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Miszou
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              fat_boy wrote:

                              I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                              There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                              The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                              L I 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • M Miszou

                                fat_boy wrote:

                                I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                                There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                                The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                5! Ha ha!

                                Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • C Chris S Kaiser

                                  Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                                  What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                                  H Offline
                                  H Offline
                                  hairy_hats
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  Chris S Kaiser wrote:

                                  Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                                  Maybe where you live! Here you're more likely to get the reply "Please do not ask for credit because a smack in the mouth often offends."

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • M Miszou

                                    fat_boy wrote:

                                    I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                                    There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                                    The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                                    I Offline
                                    I Offline
                                    Ilion
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    And doubtless easier ways to work out the deal with the sausage.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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