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Joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • P Prakash Nadar

    Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


    -Prakash

    V Offline
    V Offline
    V 0
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

    V.
    Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

    L 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • R R Giskard Reventlov

      That was pretty funny: I guess only the prudish and anal humor-prevention officers voted you 1 rather than the well deserved 5s. Keep 'em coming... as Murphy might have said. :)

      home
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      R Offline
      R Offline
      Rajesh R Subramanian
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      digital man wrote:

      humor-prevention officers

      :laugh:


      Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero ப்ரம்மா

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • V V 0

        I think I'll try the same, but take my wife instead of a friend :-D

        V.
        Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

        L Offline
        L Offline
        Lost User
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        V. wrote:

        instead of a friend

        Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

        Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

        V 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • L Lost User

          V. wrote:

          instead of a friend

          Hmm, after a few beers would you mind?

          Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

          V Offline
          V Offline
          V 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          lol, you know you get voted down for making gay jokes don't you ;P. Besides, you're not my type :laugh:

          V.
          Stop smoking so you can: Enjoy longer the money you save. Moviereview Archive

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          • P Prakash Nadar

            Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


            -Prakash

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            Got my 5 (although with an Irish surname I should be offended).

            the last thing I want to see is some pasty-faced geek with skin so pale that it's almost translucent trying to bump parts with a partner - John Simmons / outlaw programmer
            Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.

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            • P Prakash Nadar

              Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too. :confused:


              -Prakash

              M Offline
              M Offline
              Michael P Butler
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              Mr.Prakash wrote:

              Funny, this joke gets downvoted in soapbox too.

              You got my 5. This is the kind of joke we need to raise the tone in the soapbox.

              Michael CP Blog [^] Development Blog [^]

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P Prakash Nadar

                Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                -Prakash

                _ Offline
                _ Offline
                _AK_
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                nice one... :laugh:

                Best Regards, Apurva Kaushal

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P Prakash Nadar

                  Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                  -Prakash

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  Bradml
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Got my 5


                  Brad Australian -CAUTION- The previous statement may contain traces of PHP, and by reading this statement you negate the right to vote me down.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • P Prakash Nadar

                    Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Seamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whiskey. Seamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Seamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o' this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub!"


                    -Prakash

                    H Offline
                    H Offline
                    hairy_hats
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • H hairy_hats

                      Where is this amazing pub, which lets you drink a whole pint and chaser before paying for them?

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Chris S Kaiser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                      What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                      H 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        I dont know what sad fuckkers voted you a 1, but 5! And I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight! Cheers!

                        Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Miszou
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        fat_boy wrote:

                        I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                        There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                        The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                        L I 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • M Miszou

                          fat_boy wrote:

                          I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                          There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                          The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          5! Ha ha!

                          Truth is the subjection of reality to an individuals perception

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • C Chris S Kaiser

                            Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                            What's in a sig? This statement is false. Build a bridge and get over it. ~ Chris Maunder

                            H Offline
                            H Offline
                            hairy_hats
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            Chris S Kaiser wrote:

                            Its called a running tab. Most pubs will do this if your having more than one.

                            Maybe where you live! Here you're more likely to get the reply "Please do not ask for credit because a smack in the mouth often offends."

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M Miszou

                              fat_boy wrote:

                              I am deffinitely going to use this in the pub tonight!

                              There are probably easier ways of getting a free drink you know...


                              The StartPage Randomizer | The Timelapse Project | A Random Web Page

                              I Offline
                              I Offline
                              Ilion
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              And doubtless easier ways to work out the deal with the sausage.

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