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Twenty Dollars

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
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  • C Offline
    C Offline
    Colin Angus Mackay
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him.


    Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Introduction to AJAX (2nd May), SQL Server 2005 - XML and XML Query Plans, Mock Objects, SQL Server Reporting Services... Never write for other people. Write for yourself, because you have a passion for it. -- Marc Clifton My website

    C J 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • C Colin Angus Mackay

      On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him.


      Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Introduction to AJAX (2nd May), SQL Server 2005 - XML and XML Query Plans, Mock Objects, SQL Server Reporting Services... Never write for other people. Write for yourself, because you have a passion for it. -- Marc Clifton My website

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Christian Graus
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      That's an average of 4.5 times a *day*. How did he find time to give his business to anyone else ? Oh, the 1 million includes interest. *sigh*

      Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog "I am working on a project that will convert a FORTRAN code to corresponding C++ code.I am not aware of FORTRAN syntax" ( spotted in the C++/CLI forum )

      E M 2 Replies Last reply
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      • C Christian Graus

        That's an average of 4.5 times a *day*. How did he find time to give his business to anyone else ? Oh, the 1 million includes interest. *sigh*

        Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog "I am working on a project that will convert a FORTRAN code to corresponding C++ code.I am not aware of FORTRAN syntax" ( spotted in the C++/CLI forum )

        E Offline
        E Offline
        Ed Gadziemski
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Christian Graus wrote:

        Oh, the 1 million includes interest. *sigh*

        The magic of compounding. Just ask Rude Stateless if you need a refresher course. He's always going on about how everybody will have 10 million to retire on because of compounding.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
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        • C Colin Angus Mackay

          On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him.


          Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Introduction to AJAX (2nd May), SQL Server 2005 - XML and XML Query Plans, Mock Objects, SQL Server Reporting Services... Never write for other people. Write for yourself, because you have a passion for it. -- Marc Clifton My website

          J Offline
          J Offline
          Jorgen Sigvardsson
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          <Nathan-Explosion>Brutal!</Nathan-Explosion>

          -- Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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          • E Ed Gadziemski

            Christian Graus wrote:

            Oh, the 1 million includes interest. *sigh*

            The magic of compounding. Just ask Rude Stateless if you need a refresher course. He's always going on about how everybody will have 10 million to retire on because of compounding.

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Red Stateler
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            $5 million. But only if you actually save and invest. Most don't.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
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            • R Red Stateler

              $5 million. But only if you actually save and invest. Most don't.

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Shog9 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Red Stateler wrote:

              But only if you actually save and invest. Most don't.

              I do, diligently. I just manage to rack up high-interest debt at about the same rate... :rolleyes:

              ----

              It appears that everybody is under the impression that I approve of the documentation. You probably also blame Ken Burns for supporting slavery.

              --Raymond Chen on MSDN

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              • C Christian Graus

                That's an average of 4.5 times a *day*. How did he find time to give his business to anyone else ? Oh, the 1 million includes interest. *sigh*

                Christian Graus - Microsoft MVP - C++ Metal Musings - Rex and my new metal blog "I am working on a project that will convert a FORTRAN code to corresponding C++ code.I am not aware of FORTRAN syntax" ( spotted in the C++/CLI forum )

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Michael Hendrickx
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Christian Graus wrote:

                That's an average of 4.5 times a *day*. How did he find time to give his business to anyone else ?

                Lol.. you really did calculate that. After 30 years, performing at that rate (over 50.000 times), i think you need to recharge your tool.

                www.code.ae

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