How to forget
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Thanks for the reply. And yes, I had been in more trouble when with her than I have been in without her. I had real bad relations with some university teachers. I was almost kicked out of the uni. I passed out once in the classroom, and nearly a second time. I smashed a glass while standing on stage. I almost hit a teacher once... and many other things I have forgotten. Yes, all because of her.
this is this.
did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!
When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code
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did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!
When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code
Tamimi - Code wrote:
did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?
No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.
this is this.
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Find someone else, that are interested in what you do and say.
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Tamimi - Code wrote:
did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?
No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.
this is this.
khan++ wrote:
So I left.
so git my 5
When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code
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How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
this is this.
khan++ wrote:
(It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
this is this.
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khan++ wrote:
(It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
Thanks for the advice. I just stopped reminding myself of her during the last four years, and lived fine. Moved. Made new friends. Wrote a lot of code. Basically tried to move on, but after what I have learnt yesterday and confirmed it today, I will have to fight it again for the next few days/weeks.
El Corazon wrote:
jumping from one relationship to another isn't good
Right on. I wasn't going to do it anyway. Didn't for more than four years.
this is this.
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How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
this is this.
Time will help you get over the fact that she's having monkey sex with her new partner. Don't let it get to you that she's completely moved on, and you're looked upon as a mistake in judgment. Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't. After that, you're golden.
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Wjousts wrote:
Try growing a pair!
Oh please! I don't have that much free oestrogen. I am going to use most of it for crying.
this is this.
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Time will help you get over the fact that she's having monkey sex with her new partner. Don't let it get to you that she's completely moved on, and you're looked upon as a mistake in judgment. Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't. After that, you're golden.
ednrgc wrote:
Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't.
I remind myself that I was the one who ended it. And I never thought of doing nasty things to her. I thought it was sacred. I don't think about what she may be doing with her new partner. It was a choice she made. She used me when she could, but stayed with her other friends. So I quit.
this is this.
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khan++ wrote:
(It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!)
Wow! That sounds familiar. My ex was a psycotic b*tch. I won't forget her, I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named. I tell people about her. About how she smashed the car in to the neighbour's house, how she insulted one of my friends so badly I've not spoken to him in 6 years, how she insulted my uncle that I've not spoken with him in about 6 years also. Due to her my dad refused to visit for about 6 months. And during that relationship I ended up in accident and emergency more times that the rest of my life put together. (And there is more to that than I really want to talk about)
khan++ wrote:
How do you forget someone?
You don't
khan++ wrote:
I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?
Learn the lesson and move on.
Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website
Colin Angus Mackay wrote:
I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named.
I never used those names. But it definitely fits! Though sounds like yours was worse. My ex never smashed her car into anyone or anything, though I am fairly certain she was the one who poured cat urine on my car on the day we took statements for divorce. :rolleyes: That is what I get for arriving early. Not smart. Or I should have parked blocks away and walked after arriving even earlier.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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Tamimi - Code wrote:
did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?
No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.
this is this.
khan++ wrote:
May be it made her feel better.
Just think how pitiful the person is that must destroy one person to make themselves feel better. They must truly have a low opinion of themselves, though claim not to. Of course that never means you have to support or encourage such things, so glad you got going... took me a lot longer.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)
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How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.
this is this.
UT/Quake/other violent games that takes lot of focus, works good in short term. :) In long term, I am affraid *I* can't help you :(
[My Blog] "Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. " - Morpheus "Real men use mspaint for writing code and notepad for designing graphics." - Anna-Jayne Metcalfe
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UT/Quake/other violent games that takes lot of focus, works good in short term. :) In long term, I am affraid *I* can't help you :(
[My Blog] "Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. " - Morpheus "Real men use mspaint for writing code and notepad for designing graphics." - Anna-Jayne Metcalfe
dnh wrote:
games that takes lot of focus, works good in short term
Been there. Done that. How long can one play games? five hours? and after that, lying in bed to sleep takes a lot longer (at least for me). Better do some workout. I also plan to write a few hundred pages on a blog and make it public.
this is this.
-
Find someone else, that are interested in what you do and say.
**
xacc.ide-0.2.0.77 - now with C# 3.5 support and Navigation Bar!^
New xacc.ide release RSS feed^**
:)
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips
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khan++ wrote:
I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?
Be patient. Time is a great healer. You'll feel bad for a while but it will pass. Distract yourself until then, do new things, take up new hobbies, write an article for CP.
Steve_Harris wrote:
Time is a great healer.
Absolutely true. This is a time-proof statement in all cases eternally. :)
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips
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Colin Angus Mackay wrote:
Learn the lesson and move on.
it's sometime so costly........ so many tears
When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code
Tamimi - Code wrote:
it's sometime so costly........ so many tears
Not just tears. But many heartburns too. Painful process.
Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips
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The more you want to forget her, the more you can't forget her. From my experience:), just find another girl or get busy.
Work hard, Work effectively. Stock Pick