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  3. How to forget

How to forget

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  • C Colin Angus Mackay

    Tamimi - Code wrote:

    it's sometime so costly........ so many tears

    The tears go away after a while. The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.


    Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

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    T Offline
    Tamimi Code
    wrote on last edited by
    #18

    Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

    The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.

    excuse me but this makes me laugh :laugh: , but its totally true

    When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

    C 1 Reply Last reply
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    • C Colin Angus Mackay

      khan++ wrote:

      I almost hit a teacher once

      That sounds more like you were the one with a problem. I never ("almost") hit anybody.


      Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

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      khan
      wrote on last edited by
      #19

      Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

      That sounds more like you were the one with a problem

      No, I wasn't looking for trouble, ever. The teacher was in love with one of his other students. And that student had a crush on me. The teacher wanted to get rid of me, so I became their (the teachers group's) target, and he kicked me out of that study group into another one. Hence I became a little more aggresive when he tried to push me again, but never hit anyone.

      this is this.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • T Tamimi Code

        Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

        The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.

        excuse me but this makes me laugh :laugh: , but its totally true

        When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

        C Offline
        C Offline
        Colin Angus Mackay
        wrote on last edited by
        #20

        Tamimi - Code wrote:

        excuse me but this makes me laugh

        No worries - I can laugh about it now.


        Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

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        • T Tamimi Code

          Don't blame your self about something you don't have a choice with it , then don't ever remember or think about anyone left you without any reasonable reason. just let it go

          When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

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          khan
          wrote on last edited by
          #21

          Tamimi - Code wrote:

          Don't blame your self about something you don't have a choice with it

          Yes, I have only myself to blame. I had the choice to get into a relationship or not. I chose to. I trusted the wrong people.

          this is this.

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          • K khan

            How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

            this is this.

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            Daniel Turini
            wrote on last edited by
            #22

            Buy a XBOX 360 and go play on XBOX Live. It's easy to forget everything there :)

            I see dead pixels Yes, even I am blogging now!

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            • K khan

              Thanks for the reply. And yes, I had been in more trouble when with her than I have been in without her. I had real bad relations with some university teachers. I was almost kicked out of the uni. I passed out once in the classroom, and nearly a second time. I smashed a glass while standing on stage. I almost hit a teacher once... and many other things I have forgotten. Yes, all because of her.

              this is this.

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              Tamimi Code
              wrote on last edited by
              #23

              did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!

              When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

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              • T Tamimi Code

                did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!

                When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                K Offline
                K Offline
                khan
                wrote on last edited by
                #24

                Tamimi - Code wrote:

                did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?

                No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.

                this is this.

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                • L leppie

                  Find someone else, that are interested in what you do and say.

                  **

                  xacc.ide-0.2.0.77 - now with C# 3.5 support and Navigation Bar!^
                  New xacc.ide release RSS feed^

                  **

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                  K Offline
                  khan
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #25

                  leppie wrote:

                  Find someone else

                  I hope the reply is meant for me. If I wanted someone, I could get quite a few chances. I did not look for another one in the last four years and probably won't for another few years.

                  this is this.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • K khan

                    Tamimi - Code wrote:

                    did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?

                    No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.

                    this is this.

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                    T Offline
                    Tamimi Code
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #26

                    khan++ wrote:

                    So I left.

                    so git my 5

                    When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • K khan

                      How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                      this is this.

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                      E Offline
                      El Corazon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #27

                      khan++ wrote:

                      (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                      One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.

                      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                      K 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • K khan

                        How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                        this is this.

                        W Offline
                        W Offline
                        Wjousts
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #28

                        Try growing a pair!

                        K E 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • E El Corazon

                          khan++ wrote:

                          (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                          One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.

                          _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                          K Offline
                          K Offline
                          khan
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #29

                          Thanks for the advice. I just stopped reminding myself of her during the last four years, and lived fine. Moved. Made new friends. Wrote a lot of code. Basically tried to move on, but after what I have learnt yesterday and confirmed it today, I will have to fight it again for the next few days/weeks.

                          El Corazon wrote:

                          jumping from one relationship to another isn't good

                          Right on. I wasn't going to do it anyway. Didn't for more than four years.

                          this is this.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W Wjousts

                            Try growing a pair!

                            K Offline
                            K Offline
                            khan
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #30

                            Wjousts wrote:

                            Try growing a pair!

                            Oh please! I don't have that much free oestrogen. I am going to use most of it for crying.

                            this is this.

                            W 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • K khan

                              How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                              this is this.

                              E Offline
                              E Offline
                              ednrgc
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #31

                              Time will help you get over the fact that she's having monkey sex with her new partner. Don't let it get to you that she's completely moved on, and you're looked upon as a mistake in judgment. Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't. After that, you're golden.

                              K 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W Wjousts

                                Try growing a pair!

                                E Offline
                                E Offline
                                ednrgc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #32

                                Exactly!!!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • K khan

                                  Wjousts wrote:

                                  Try growing a pair!

                                  Oh please! I don't have that much free oestrogen. I am going to use most of it for crying.

                                  this is this.

                                  W Offline
                                  W Offline
                                  Wjousts
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #33

                                  Come on. Me and your ex are very happy together ;P

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • E ednrgc

                                    Time will help you get over the fact that she's having monkey sex with her new partner. Don't let it get to you that she's completely moved on, and you're looked upon as a mistake in judgment. Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't. After that, you're golden.

                                    K Offline
                                    K Offline
                                    khan
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #34

                                    ednrgc wrote:

                                    Don't continue to beat yourself up over the fact that he's doing things to her that you couldn't.

                                    I remind myself that I was the one who ended it. And I never thought of doing nasty things to her. I thought it was sacred. I don't think about what she may be doing with her new partner. It was a choice she made. She used me when she could, but stayed with her other friends. So I quit.

                                    this is this.

                                    J 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • C Colin Angus Mackay

                                      khan++ wrote:

                                      (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!)

                                      Wow! That sounds familiar. My ex was a psycotic b*tch. I won't forget her, I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named. I tell people about her. About how she smashed the car in to the neighbour's house, how she insulted one of my friends so badly I've not spoken to him in 6 years, how she insulted my uncle that I've not spoken with him in about 6 years also. Due to her my dad refused to visit for about 6 months. And during that relationship I ended up in accident and emergency more times that the rest of my life put together. (And there is more to that than I really want to talk about)

                                      khan++ wrote:

                                      How do you forget someone?

                                      You don't

                                      khan++ wrote:

                                      I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?

                                      Learn the lesson and move on.


                                      Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                                      E Offline
                                      E Offline
                                      El Corazon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #35

                                      Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                                      I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named.

                                      I never used those names. But it definitely fits! Though sounds like yours was worse. My ex never smashed her car into anyone or anything, though I am fairly certain she was the one who poured cat urine on my car on the day we took statements for divorce. :rolleyes: That is what I get for arriving early. Not smart. Or I should have parked blocks away and walked after arriving even earlier.

                                      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • K khan

                                        Tamimi - Code wrote:

                                        did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?

                                        No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.

                                        this is this.

                                        E Offline
                                        E Offline
                                        El Corazon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #36

                                        khan++ wrote:

                                        May be it made her feel better.

                                        Just think how pitiful the person is that must destroy one person to make themselves feel better. They must truly have a low opinion of themselves, though claim not to. Of course that never means you have to support or encourage such things, so glad you got going... took me a lot longer.

                                        _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • K khan

                                          How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                                          this is this.

                                          D Offline
                                          D Offline
                                          DavidNohejl
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #37

                                          UT/Quake/other violent games that takes lot of focus, works good in short term. :) In long term, I am affraid *I* can't help you :(


                                          [My Blog] "Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. " - Morpheus "Real men use mspaint for writing code and notepad for designing graphics." - Anna-Jayne Metcalfe

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