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How to forget

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  • K khan

    How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

    this is this.

    F Offline
    F Offline
    Frank Kerrigan
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    Don't forget her, remember all those good times you had together

    Grady Booch: I told Google to their face...what you need is some serious adult supervision. (2007 Turing lecture) http://www.frankkerrigan.com/[^]

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • K khan

      How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

      this is this.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Colin Angus Mackay
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      khan++ wrote:

      (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!)

      Wow! That sounds familiar. My ex was a psycotic b*tch. I won't forget her, I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named. I tell people about her. About how she smashed the car in to the neighbour's house, how she insulted one of my friends so badly I've not spoken to him in 6 years, how she insulted my uncle that I've not spoken with him in about 6 years also. Due to her my dad refused to visit for about 6 months. And during that relationship I ended up in accident and emergency more times that the rest of my life put together. (And there is more to that than I really want to talk about)

      khan++ wrote:

      How do you forget someone?

      You don't

      khan++ wrote:

      I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?

      Learn the lesson and move on.


      Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

      T K E V P 5 Replies Last reply
      0
      • V Vasudevan Deepak Kumar

        Simply ignore them.

        Vasudevan Deepak Kumar Personal Homepage Tech Gossips

        L Offline
        L Offline
        leppie
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        Find someone else, that are interested in what you do and say.

        **

        xacc.ide-0.2.0.77 - now with C# 3.5 support and Navigation Bar!^
        New xacc.ide release RSS feed^

        **

        K V 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • K khan

          How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

          this is this.

          T Offline
          T Offline
          Tamimi Code
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          Don't blame your self about something you don't have a choice with it , then don't ever remember or think about anyone left you without any reasonable reason. just let it go

          When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

          K 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • C Colin Angus Mackay

            khan++ wrote:

            (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!)

            Wow! That sounds familiar. My ex was a psycotic b*tch. I won't forget her, I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named. I tell people about her. About how she smashed the car in to the neighbour's house, how she insulted one of my friends so badly I've not spoken to him in 6 years, how she insulted my uncle that I've not spoken with him in about 6 years also. Due to her my dad refused to visit for about 6 months. And during that relationship I ended up in accident and emergency more times that the rest of my life put together. (And there is more to that than I really want to talk about)

            khan++ wrote:

            How do you forget someone?

            You don't

            khan++ wrote:

            I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?

            Learn the lesson and move on.


            Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

            T Offline
            T Offline
            Tamimi Code
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

            Learn the lesson and move on.

            it's sometime so costly........ so many tears

            When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

            C V 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • C Colin Angus Mackay

              khan++ wrote:

              (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!)

              Wow! That sounds familiar. My ex was a psycotic b*tch. I won't forget her, I just refer to her as Lady Voldemort or She-who-must-not-be-named. I tell people about her. About how she smashed the car in to the neighbour's house, how she insulted one of my friends so badly I've not spoken to him in 6 years, how she insulted my uncle that I've not spoken with him in about 6 years also. Due to her my dad refused to visit for about 6 months. And during that relationship I ended up in accident and emergency more times that the rest of my life put together. (And there is more to that than I really want to talk about)

              khan++ wrote:

              How do you forget someone?

              You don't

              khan++ wrote:

              I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed?

              Learn the lesson and move on.


              Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

              K Offline
              K Offline
              khan
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              Thanks for the reply. And yes, I had been in more trouble when with her than I have been in without her. I had real bad relations with some university teachers. I was almost kicked out of the uni. I passed out once in the classroom, and nearly a second time. I smashed a glass while standing on stage. I almost hit a teacher once... and many other things I have forgotten. Yes, all because of her.

              this is this.

              C T 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • T Tamimi Code

                Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                Learn the lesson and move on.

                it's sometime so costly........ so many tears

                When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                C Offline
                C Offline
                Colin Angus Mackay
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                Tamimi - Code wrote:

                it's sometime so costly........ so many tears

                The tears go away after a while. The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.


                Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                T 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • K khan

                  Thanks for the reply. And yes, I had been in more trouble when with her than I have been in without her. I had real bad relations with some university teachers. I was almost kicked out of the uni. I passed out once in the classroom, and nearly a second time. I smashed a glass while standing on stage. I almost hit a teacher once... and many other things I have forgotten. Yes, all because of her.

                  this is this.

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Colin Angus Mackay
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  khan++ wrote:

                  I almost hit a teacher once

                  That sounds more like you were the one with a problem. I never ("almost") hit anybody.


                  Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                  K 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • C Colin Angus Mackay

                    Tamimi - Code wrote:

                    it's sometime so costly........ so many tears

                    The tears go away after a while. The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.


                    Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                    T Offline
                    T Offline
                    Tamimi Code
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #18

                    Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                    The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.

                    excuse me but this makes me laugh :laugh: , but its totally true

                    When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • T Tamimi Code

                      Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                      The great big dent in my bank account takes a while longer.

                      excuse me but this makes me laugh :laugh: , but its totally true

                      When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Colin Angus Mackay
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #19

                      Tamimi - Code wrote:

                      excuse me but this makes me laugh

                      No worries - I can laugh about it now.


                      Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • C Colin Angus Mackay

                        khan++ wrote:

                        I almost hit a teacher once

                        That sounds more like you were the one with a problem. I never ("almost") hit anybody.


                        Upcoming events: * Glasgow: Mock Objects, SQL Server CLR Integration, Reporting Services, db4o, Dependency Injection with Spring ... "I wouldn't say boo to a goose. I'm not a coward, I just realise that it would be largely pointless." My website

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        khan
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #20

                        Colin Angus Mackay wrote:

                        That sounds more like you were the one with a problem

                        No, I wasn't looking for trouble, ever. The teacher was in love with one of his other students. And that student had a crush on me. The teacher wanted to get rid of me, so I became their (the teachers group's) target, and he kicked me out of that study group into another one. Hence I became a little more aggresive when he tried to push me again, but never hit anyone.

                        this is this.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • T Tamimi Code

                          Don't blame your self about something you don't have a choice with it , then don't ever remember or think about anyone left you without any reasonable reason. just let it go

                          When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                          K Offline
                          K Offline
                          khan
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #21

                          Tamimi - Code wrote:

                          Don't blame your self about something you don't have a choice with it

                          Yes, I have only myself to blame. I had the choice to get into a relationship or not. I chose to. I trusted the wrong people.

                          this is this.

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • K khan

                            How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                            this is this.

                            D Offline
                            D Offline
                            Daniel Turini
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #22

                            Buy a XBOX 360 and go play on XBOX Live. It's easy to forget everything there :)

                            I see dead pixels Yes, even I am blogging now!

                            J 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • K khan

                              Thanks for the reply. And yes, I had been in more trouble when with her than I have been in without her. I had real bad relations with some university teachers. I was almost kicked out of the uni. I passed out once in the classroom, and nearly a second time. I smashed a glass while standing on stage. I almost hit a teacher once... and many other things I have forgotten. Yes, all because of her.

                              this is this.

                              T Offline
                              T Offline
                              Tamimi Code
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #23

                              did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!

                              When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                              K 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • T Tamimi Code

                                did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?? !!!

                                When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                khan
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #24

                                Tamimi - Code wrote:

                                did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?

                                No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.

                                this is this.

                                T E 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • L leppie

                                  Find someone else, that are interested in what you do and say.

                                  **

                                  xacc.ide-0.2.0.77 - now with C# 3.5 support and Navigation Bar!^
                                  New xacc.ide release RSS feed^

                                  **

                                  K Offline
                                  K Offline
                                  khan
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #25

                                  leppie wrote:

                                  Find someone else

                                  I hope the reply is meant for me. If I wanted someone, I could get quite a few chances. I did not look for another one in the last four years and probably won't for another few years.

                                  this is this.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • K khan

                                    Tamimi - Code wrote:

                                    did you ever think that she don't deserve you ?

                                    No, I left her because she would hang out with Flash designers instead of the only true C++ programmer in the area. [/joke] But seriously, No, I thought that she didn't deserve me after what she used to do to make me feel bad. May be it made her feel better. She left me once, and it was a clear indication that she would do it again if I stayed. So I left.

                                    this is this.

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    Tamimi Code
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #26

                                    khan++ wrote:

                                    So I left.

                                    so git my 5

                                    When you get mad...THINK twice that the only advice Tamimi - Code

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • K khan

                                      How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                                      this is this.

                                      E Offline
                                      E Offline
                                      El Corazon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #27

                                      khan++ wrote:

                                      (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                                      One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.

                                      _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                      K 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • K khan

                                        How do you forget someone? I mean how do you get over a relationship that failed? I need help here, and I can't talk to friends about it. I used to know her years ago, but now I have learnt that she left last year. I even disconnected myself from old friends because they would remind me of her. I just wanted it to be over, but now the memories have come back. I need to get over it before I do something stupid. (I don't know if I can get any more stupid than looking for love in the wrong people). I really want myself to be glad it is over, but how? (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                                        this is this.

                                        W Offline
                                        W Offline
                                        Wjousts
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #28

                                        Try growing a pair!

                                        K E 2 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • E El Corazon

                                          khan++ wrote:

                                          (It was an abusive relationship for me that started in 1999 that I ended around mid 2003, four years ago!) Please make some suggestions / words of wisdom.

                                          One of the largest mistakes of people who are in an abusive relationship is not filling the gap with something about you. I am not saying fill it all with work, though some will (and I did for a while), but find some hobbies you enjoy and enjoy them. I took hikes, I photographed caverns, I learned to play the native american flute, etc. You said you gave up friends so that you wouldn't be reminded, but the problem is if you didn't fill your time with anything else, you will always be reminded. After that, just have patience. Time will help. And, maybe, you will meet someone. BUT, jumping from one relationship to another isn't good, so be patient and don't let that be the focus of any of your hobbies. Do things for you, not because you want to meet someone. Enjoy life, for life's sake.

                                          _________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb)

                                          K Offline
                                          K Offline
                                          khan
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #29

                                          Thanks for the advice. I just stopped reminding myself of her during the last four years, and lived fine. Moved. Made new friends. Wrote a lot of code. Basically tried to move on, but after what I have learnt yesterday and confirmed it today, I will have to fight it again for the next few days/weeks.

                                          El Corazon wrote:

                                          jumping from one relationship to another isn't good

                                          Right on. I wasn't going to do it anyway. Didn't for more than four years.

                                          this is this.

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