Europe threat levels
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
Good One! Mike
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "George Carlin"
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
The Australian government has set its status to "she'll be right", also restraining from using the remaining two levels: "Call uncle George" and "Release the Kangaroos". The Australian Navy currently has a been crushed by a ferry in the harbour and the airforce was taken out last week by a flock of birds. The tank, however, is ready to move out.
Brad Australian - My Blog Thinking - My Personal [Ad Free] Blog
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The Australian government has set its status to "she'll be right", also restraining from using the remaining two levels: "Call uncle George" and "Release the Kangaroos". The Australian Navy currently has a been crushed by a ferry in the harbour and the airforce was taken out last week by a flock of birds. The tank, however, is ready to move out.
Brad Australian - My Blog Thinking - My Personal [Ad Free] Blog
:laugh: The Zimbabwe goverment should change their threat level from "Self Mutilation" to "Suicide" following their airforce being rendered completely useless after their pilot got the flu, and it couldn't be fixed by cutting of another 5 zero's from their currency!
_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
:laugh: Brilliant got a 5 from me good history lesson as well:laugh:
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
*rotfl* Really great! That explains why we are such a peaceful continent. :cool: Do you know our great new marching song "Peace and Colours"? We sing it with white flags over our heads marching down the coastline: We start marching in spain after a great beach party, have a lunch break in france and then fill up our supply of "green stuff" in the netherlands. In germany we sit down on VW cars and paint catholic crosses on the white flags to continue marching for love and peace in poland... :cool:
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
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:laugh: The Zimbabwe goverment should change their threat level from "Self Mutilation" to "Suicide" following their airforce being rendered completely useless after their pilot got the flu, and it couldn't be fixed by cutting of another 5 zero's from their currency!
_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
evilnoodle wrote:
"Self Mutilation" to "Suicide"
Maybe that's too much for a joke.
If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. - Charlie Brooker My Blog - My Photos - ScrewTurn Wiki
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*rotfl* Really great! That explains why we are such a peaceful continent. :cool: Do you know our great new marching song "Peace and Colours"? We sing it with white flags over our heads marching down the coastline: We start marching in spain after a great beach party, have a lunch break in france and then fill up our supply of "green stuff" in the netherlands. In germany we sit down on VW cars and paint catholic crosses on the white flags to continue marching for love and peace in poland... :cool:
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
:laugh:Very nice, although I don't think Angela Merkel is too happy with Poland (well, at one MEP in particular) at the moment.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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evilnoodle wrote:
"Self Mutilation" to "Suicide"
Maybe that's too much for a joke.
If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. - Charlie Brooker My Blog - My Photos - ScrewTurn Wiki
Those words are very fitting to Zim's current state. Mugabe recently passed a law forcing ALL shops and dealers to have an obligated half-price sale on everything! Any company that closes its doors to avoid bancruptcy is severely penalized. So most companies simply stopped buying new stock while selling all current stock at half-price.
Dario Solera wrote:
Maybe that's too much for a joke.
Was hoping it wouldn't be read into too seriously... but I suppose that's unavoidable!
_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
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:laugh:Very nice, although I don't think Angela Merkel is too happy with Poland (well, at one MEP in particular) at the moment.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
Poland's politicians are nothing but a group of religious fanatics who live 60 years in the past. Anyway, we need that country, because their non-politicians are the cheapest workers at our contructions and farms. *ducking under the table, avoiding live bugs thrown by polish CPians* :rose:
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
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Poland's politicians are nothing but a group of religious fanatics who live 60 years in the past. Anyway, we need that country, because their non-politicians are the cheapest workers at our contructions and farms. *ducking under the table, avoiding live bugs thrown by polish CPians* :rose:
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
Hands off them - we need them as plumbers.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Hands off them - we need them as plumbers.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
So that's where the Polish are during winter! You can have them from octobre until march. We only need them in the summer. (Silence ... Is there not a single polish CPian out there?)
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
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So that's where the Polish are during winter! You can have them from octobre until march. We only need them in the summer. (Silence ... Is there not a single polish CPian out there?)
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
Corinna John wrote:
So that's where the Polish are during winter! You can have them from octobre until march. We only need them in the summer.
That's fine - the pipes only burst in the winter.
Corinna John wrote:
(Silence ... Is there not a single polish CPian out there?)
I must admit, I expected to get flamed at least once.:-D
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
Yeah thanks! NOw I have to clean coffee off my monitors, whats your address so I can send the cleaning bill to you? ;P Gets my 5!
"It's only that urgent if you have to pee." Dave Kreskowiak
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The Australian government has set its status to "she'll be right", also restraining from using the remaining two levels: "Call uncle George" and "Release the Kangaroos". The Australian Navy currently has a been crushed by a ferry in the harbour and the airforce was taken out last week by a flock of birds. The tank, however, is ready to move out.
Brad Australian - My Blog Thinking - My Personal [Ad Free] Blog
Bradml wrote:
The tank, however, is ready to move out.
...didn't you follow the news last week. Some wacko drove it around my suburb destroying mobile phone towers once he discovered he couldn't take out power sub-stations with it. It's currently in for repairs so the armoured tank division is out of action. I dead serious about this. I only got full mobile coverage back at my place last Friday, 6 days after his rampage.
Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
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So that's where the Polish are during winter! You can have them from octobre until march. We only need them in the summer. (Silence ... Is there not a single polish CPian out there?)
____________________________________ There is no proof for this sentence.
Well, I'm Polish, but I'm also English and Kiwi, so I can spread my reactions around a bit. Man, is Poland a crazy place at the moment :rolleyes: I can't exactly say I want to live there, although I very much want to go there. They have a lot to recover from over there.
"Your typical day is full of moments where you ask for a cup of coffee and someone hands you a bag of nails." - Scott Adams
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Corinna John wrote:
So that's where the Polish are during winter! You can have them from octobre until march. We only need them in the summer.
That's fine - the pipes only burst in the winter.
Corinna John wrote:
(Silence ... Is there not a single polish CPian out there?)
I must admit, I expected to get flamed at least once.:-D
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
I'm surprised at the lack of Polish response to. Poles are proud to be Poles, no matter what. It's a great thing and there's nothing better than being Polish. I bet they are fantastic plumbers and where ever you are - you need those plumbers since you no doubt can't fix it yourself. How's that for some awesome Polishness?
"Your typical day is full of moments where you ask for a cup of coffee and someone hands you a bag of nails." - Scott Adams
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Bradml wrote:
The tank, however, is ready to move out.
...didn't you follow the news last week. Some wacko drove it around my suburb destroying mobile phone towers once he discovered he couldn't take out power sub-stations with it. It's currently in for repairs so the armoured tank division is out of action. I dead serious about this. I only got full mobile coverage back at my place last Friday, 6 days after his rampage.
Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
As an Englishman, may I say that my monocle fell into my Gin and Tonic as I was laughing so much. I say, it's just not cricket to stab a French Johnny in the back like that. We English chaps prefer to do it from the front. 5/5 though. Brilliant. I have of course stolen it and am sending it out to all on my contact list!
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Could you link me to an article on that?
Brad Australian - Christian Graus on "Best books for VBscript" A big thick one, so you can whack yourself on the head with it.
Bradml wrote:
Could you link me to an article on that?
Here's one better, many articles bought to you by the letter Google[^].
Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash 24/04/2004
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This a "news flash" played on the radio (5FM) about 5 minutes ago... sorry if it's a repost!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" from previous alert level "starch your white flag" The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. :laugh: It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.;P;P_______________________________________________________________________ http://www.readytogiveup.com/[^] "you can't forget something you never knew..." M. Du Toit
I figured that since we have England, we need to have Scotland (Wales can worry about itself). I guess not many people will know about the recent-ish (ok quite old) terrorist attacks on Glasgow Airport? Well, Scotland has since gone from "Gie them the RAAAA!" to "Gie them a chibbin'". Also, the Scottish army has a new division - the John Smeaton group, who specialise in terrorist busting nukes. The terrorists tried to blow up the airport terminal - the terrorists were on fire and throwing gas canisters around - so John Smeaton (a baggage handler), and a taxi driver and some police jumped in and basically beat the guys up. An article on the John Smeaton website had a rough translation of a French news article, which had the following at the end: "You come to Glasgow and try to attack us, and we will handle your baggage." No, Scots aren't violent. We just take offence to foreigners trying to blow up our airport.
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